Fish

Friday, April 22, 2016

Story Time

Well, not really - at least not right now.


For those of you who follow me on the Book of Face I made a post a little while ago about how I want to write a story or a series of stories (you can find that post and comment on it here) about a poker player who probably isn't all that good but is willing to do odd jobs to earn buy-ins.

I enjoy writing and at times I can be creative (seldom as they may seem) and I've always really wanted to write a book no matter how much it might actually suck.
I just never go through with it.. .or I never start it or whatever.

So, since I have been reading and listening to a lot of audio books I have been getting that itch again and recently I might have stumbled onto what might have been one of my biggest problems over the years.  I generally have a story idea but I just don't know how to flesh it out because I really have no experience with my idea.  

I read somewhere that you should write what you know and that all stories should have some basis in reality.  So, this is why I chose to base my story loosely around poker.  Or with Poker as at least a small focal point, starting point, something something something words words words.


Either way - I'm going to attempt it and in this day and age of social media my main character is going to be given his own presence on the net.
I haven't decided if I'll post the information here of if I'll start a secondary blog just for the story information.
Either way I am trying to challenge myself, force myself to write more and work on creativity.

Also, I would totally appreciate if you all would make sure to pick apart, insult, tell me why it sucks as stuff gets posted because after getting to know you guys over the years I wouldn't expect anything less.

grrouch out

Sunday, April 17, 2016

A short session at The Orleans

I know that there currently is not anything interesting that I can say about my poker sessions, poker wise.   I've been out of the game for entirely too long and my game is rusty.  I've been talking with a buddy in Pennsylvania about both of us picking a night or two during the month to head out to the casino and text back and forth any information or updates from our sessions.  Kind of like a little challenge to go with someone and see who does better.

So far this has gone as far as agreeing that we should do it, we have yet to actually do a session.

My thought is that the texts back and forth along with random Facebook and Twitter updates along with my notepad (whether on physical paper or on my phone/tablet) will provide me with information to jog my memory so that I can make blog post updates.

I love writing and I miss it, it's just that when I feel like writing I am usually at work or not near the house to do it.  When I have downtime at home I really don't feel like writing.  It's a bit frustrating at times.

So, let's get into my last session which I took notes on.
Hope you like it.



Before I even make it to the casino to play some poker I say fuck this place.

On the bottom floor of the parking garage some douche bag speeds up to pass me because 20 feet in front of me are his two old as fuck hippy douche bag friends walking in the opposite direction.  So in order to stop and pick up these friends we risk an accident and block traffic in both directions for 2 minutes instead of just fucking waiting.

Fuck The Orleans.

On the walk to the casino, after parking, an old Asian broad bugs me asking where the entrance was.  I pointed in the general direction and she bitched that there weren't any close parking spots because, you know, we'd hate to actually have to walk any sort of distance before we went and blew all of our money playing Pai-Gow or Baccarat or whatever the fuck it is that old Asian fucks blow there wad at these days.

Fuck the Orleans.

Thirty seconds later a Mariachi performer walks by me.  What is wrong with this world?  Who performs Mariachi at the Orleans?  I hope he got some good tips but probably not as he looked anxious to get the hell out of there.

The Elevator smells like baby shit.  It doesn't quite hit you until after the doors close and you start moving and I am sure this is on purpose so that you don't change your mind and leave for someplace more upscale.

At this point I am not exactly sure what had drug me to this dog forsaken place and more importantly why the hell did none of the above give me the idea that I needed to leave an go someplace better.


Walking into the Poker Room there is one guy watching movies on his tablet.  I observe another table where three people are wearing headphones and another is constantly holding a napkin over his mouth as if this will allow him to not catch the rampant zombieism that is transferred from one person to another by just simply breathing the same air at The Orleans.  You can almost feel their souls being sucked out of their bodies in order to go find something more fun to do.

Why the fuck did I come here again?

9:25 PM - The, I can only assume, torture begins.

I got seated at a table that has one guy younger than I am, one guy in my age bracket and the douche bag watching movies.  There are only two sets of headphones being utilized at this table but there is one guy who looks like he is waiting o die or for aces, whichever happens to come first.  He also looks like he was big into chewing tobacco as one side of his jaw sits substantially lower than the other.  He is wearing a hat that says Purple Heart and has a Purple Heart pin attached to it.  Maybe his jaw got shot in Nam...er... WW1.

The guy to my right just called for the Ace of Jacks as the next card and used the word, and I mean word as in singular, youknowwatimean?

The young guy is short, not in stature but in stack, keeps his eyes on his phone and is wearing either shades or really dark corrective lenses.  Ace of Jacks is drinking and wearing shades as his future is probably pretty bright.

The Cocktease waitress shows up and I ask what is bottled.  She tells me most anything.  I ask for a Blue Moon and she tells me that they don't serve wheat beers, fucking beer racists.  I get a Sam Adams and pray for a quick double so I can get the hell out of here.  grrouch: 0, stupidity: 1.

Slack Jawed Grampa raises to 17 and gets 3 callers, I figure he probably stacks off if I set.  however I am 97% sure he flops top set with an Axx flop.  I fold as he bets damned near pot.   Next hand he gets to the river by calling down with a pair of 3's in his hand and rivers a set.  Maybe Grampa isn't 100% as tight as I thought.

After being here an orbit Tablet has played one hand.  He was in the big blind and Redneck raises to $11 in late position.  Tablet pushes all i for $111.  No Flop Allowed.

Gradpa flops top set and Redneck pays off every bet as he thought he flopped a straight.  He even looked at his hand post flop and still somehow thought he had a straight.  Da-Fuq?

10:03 - Down $26 after the first dealer.  Won one very minor hand against the young kid and folded a lot of random hands.

It is at this point that someone fucking farted.  I don't know if it was someone sitting at the table or if it was someone who was walking behind me.  What I do know is that it was a horribly obnoxious fart that rivaled the smell in the elevator.  What is wrong with people.  If you feel like your ass is going to explode you need to walk away from the poker room to the casino.  Then you expel your ass gas and come back.  Everyone will be happier because of it.

I've got my blue tooth headset half on/half off.  One ear is listening to Mycroft Holmes and I point this out because my headset just died.  I did bring a pair of regular headphones at the last minute as a Just In Case and I have never done that before.  Was I telling myself subliminally that I was going to need a distraction from this hell hole?

I fold a hand as Tablet bets, I don't trust a guy who pauses his movie to play a hand.

I wish I would have remembered that I don't particularly like Sam Adams and ordered something else.  And with no Blue Moon I just don't know what I want for my next brew.  Maybe they have some fruity brews?

Redneck limped Aces early, did not get a re-raise opportunity.

The cocktease waitress shows up and I ask if they have any Redds Apple Ale and she responds with "We have New Castle and Guiness for Dark Beers."  I am now Oh for Two ordering beers and this chick shows her intelligence.

Instead I order a Mich Ultra as I watch Redneck double a guy who flopped an obvious flush but he just couldn't get away from his Aces.   Redneck leaves and I am sad.  Others are sad as well but I really don't give two shits about their feelings.

I take Rednecks vacated seat.  A new guy sits in my old seat and first hand he gets aces and doubles up against a bad player.
Fuck Poker.
Fuck the Orleans.

10:31 - A new dealer Arrives.
I won two hands during the last down and am now down only $25.  I had an enormous $1 profit during that last half hour.  King of the World yo!
Another way of looking at it, my beers are currently costing me $12.50 each - but that way is more depressing so lets not go there right now.

Grampa raises, gets a few callers and everyone goes away on the flop when he continuation bets.  I guess everyone is set mining the guy they all consider to be a horrible nit.  If Grampa loosened up he could just walk over all of us.

11:01 - New Dealer
Down $50.  I was up to only down $4 after winning the only hand I won and I think the only hand I played.  However a shorty calling my raise pre-flop with J8 off put the kabah on that comeback.
Still hating it.
Still praying just to get to even.

Tablets movie must be over because out of the blue he decided to hold a conversation with the two people near him.  After the conversation is over he leaves the table.  I would love to know what amazing conversation such a guy has after watching an entire movie and not saying a bloody thing the entire time.

There is a random guy walking buy calling himself The Drunken Monkey saying that the table he just left doesn't want him bak.  It appears that his parting prose involved telling someone at the table to perform the role of a vacuum on his testi, much like they just performed the same role on his chips.
The Drunken Monkey.

I just played a hand against Grampa instead of the guy who is currently occupying the seat.  That cost me a few bucks.  When did Grampa leave?  Furthermore why had I not noticed.
I am tired and my attention stopped being paid.  I need to cut out soon before I donate my entire stack and go home depressed, and not just for going to the Fucking Orleans.

11:30 - A new Dealer sits and somehow I count my chips and find I am up $8.  I'm not 100% sure what happened that has me on the positive side.  That isn't a good sign.

11:32 I rack up and quit when the blinds hit.  The hand before I quit I flop a flush and milk a few chips off a guy who finally violently folds when the 4th flush card hits thinking I just trumped him.

Plus 53 bucks.
So my actual poker bankroll stands at $53 bucks and some money I borrowed from living expenses just to get out and play for a bit.

Balla

Monday, February 08, 2016

Back to the Gym says the Fattie

I'm sitting here listening to what ultimately is my Favorite Iron Maiden album mostly by virtue of nostalgia as it was the first I ever owned and the one I listed to the most, No Prayer for the Dying.

I just got back from my first trip to the gym this year which will be the first of many.  I'm still not close to the 300 plus pound buffoon that I was a couple of years ago but I am also not close to where I was when I got married less than 2 years ago.  

So, it is once again time to buckle down and work towards being where I want to be.

For the most part, like previously, I'm just going to be doing cardio - 99% on the elliptical.  I don't want to be slim and muscular, I just want to lose weight and keep it off.   I want to be healthier for my family so that I can enjoy watching my kids grow old.  I mean, shit, I'm going to be close to retirement by the time my boy graduates high school for crying out loud.


With that in mind I want to be able to get myself to the point where I can do half a marathon on the elliptical before the year is over with the ultimate goal being the ability to do a marathon on the elliptical in the distant future.   DISTANT, as in I'm not even quantifying how far away it is under current circumstances.
I'm going to use the first couple of weeks to ease myself back into it and as such today I decided that I was only going to go for 30 minutes and I did 2.5 miles give or take.  I'm going to work myself back up to doing 45 minutes to an hour consistently.

From there I'll work on getting my lungs better so that I can endure a couple of longer workouts from time to time.

Since a 5k is just a little over 3 miles I know that I'll be able to easily do this before February is over.

My major goal for Feb is to be able to do a full hour without killing myself.
After that I'll figure out how to work towards doing 10k (or 6.2 miles).


What is everyone else doing this year to get into shape or stay in shape?

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Standings Pre-Super Bowl

Alrighty, I didn't post them here but I posted them on the yahoo page.

Standings after Wild Card Round

433 grrouchie
386 oldman
357 hopeless
341 RingmyBell
327 Romomentum
317 El Guapo
205 Cabrina


Cabrina and El Guapo dropped out this past week

Divisional Round
El Guapo picked New England +17
Oldman picked arizona+16
grrouchie picked Arizona +16
Ring my Bell picked Carolina +17
Hopeless picked New England +17
Cabrina picked Greenbay -6
Romomentum Picked Denver +17

449 grrouchie
402 oldman
374 hopeless
358 Ring my bell
344 Romomentum
334 El Guapo
199 Cabrina


Championship Round
grrouchie poorly choose Arizona -34
Romomentum Poorly choose Arizona -34
Ring my Bell choose Carolina +44
Hopeless choose Carolina +44
oldman choose carolina +44

446 Oldman
418 hopeless
415 grrouchie
402 ringmybell
310 romomentum



Tuesday, January 19, 2016

A New Post, For Reals

It has been quite a while since I have typed up anything that wasn't related to a fantasy football status.
It has been about a year and what a year it has been.

Lately I have been thinking about writing a couple of updates but I've just never gotten around to it.  Life has been super busy.




As everyone was aware of before I took a hiatus (because I wouldn't shut up about it) I had gotten married and produced an mini-grrouch.

That mini grrouch is now almost 1 year old and has dominated my entire life since last January.

Having a child is the most amazing thing I have ever done in my life.  He brings a smile to my face every time I think about him.

Even if I am having a horribly crappy day, the moment I get home and see my baby it all goes away.  My heart is warmed and my mood is happy.  I am more in love with this child than I knew was even possible.

So, a few pictures from the past year.
This won't be a long post but hopefully there won't be a huge gap between then again.










Wednesday, January 06, 2016

End of Regular Season Standings

We only have the playoffs left and this is where we stand.

The biggest gain over the last couple weeks has been Hopeless who picked the Saints and the Texans.



Scumdogs - 393 Points
Oldman - 375 Points
Ring my Bell - 330 Points
Hopeless - 330 Points
Guapo - 306 Points
Romomentum - 287 Points
Cabrina - 235 Points
SpankmeHardr - 188 Points


Good Luck with your final 4 Picks - It could be a wild ride now that the Playoffs have reached us.


Monday, December 21, 2015

Standings after week 15.

This is being done on my phone so not as much info as I hate typing this way.

Let me know if you see any differences.

Week 14 big winner was guapowho picked Carolina.
Week 15 everyone choseSeattle or New England and everyone gained the same 27 points.


Grrouchie 353
Oldman 335
Ring my belly 307
Guapo 292
Hopeless 275
Romomentum 264
Cabrina 251
VeryJosieFTW 244
Spankmehardr 160 (not a typo)

Remember this runs through the superbowl.
Good luck next week and I'll have my comp back for more timely updates.