Sunday, June 30, 2013

Under 225

Even though today is not Saturday and my last post was not Saturday and dealt with weight loss I wanted to share the results of yesterday's weigh-in.

I consider breaking this Quarter Hundred a milestone as well because this means just counting backwards from 300 I've lost over 75 pounds now.....  80 is just on the horizon.

Also, I find it funny that while I've been taking these pictures I seem to get a lot of feedback on my feet.
Everyone likes to make jokes from Hobit Feet to needing a pedicure and whatnot.
I'll continue to show my toes off as I continue to reprogram my scale to show lower numbers in the biggest and longest April Fools Day 2014 prank ever.....
maybe not

Last I checked where I was in Vegas only hit 112 but our high was 114.
It's 6:45 am and it's already 92 with a high of 115.
Stay inside and I hope you drank plenty of water YESTERDAY.
Drink Plenty of water today because Hydration Starts the day BEFORE folks.
And we appear to be Walking on the Sun!

Thursday, June 27, 2013


It appears as though June is going to go down as my 3rd lowest month of total posts.
This one breaks the tie with the 2nd lowest.

I'm at this stage where I know that changes have been made but because I see myself every single day (and because I have low self image to begin with) I don't notice them but based on comments and conversations with other people around me..... well, I guess there is no conspiracy to have an entire group of people lie to me just to boost my confidence.

I started this journey at over 300 pounds and soon enough I'll have dropped 100 (well, give me a few months at least) and I have bought smaller clothes.
People at work lately have been asking me what my secret is, or asking me to share advice or whatever. Some of them are sincere and generally want to make an effort to try to lose weight and others want to lose weight without putting in any effort.
Below is what I generally share.  Some people tell me that it's just "too hard" though and I know those people want to change but don't want to have to go through the effort. Others keep asking me questions.
Oddly enough, I'm really enjoying the attention.
The advice I usually give:
1 - Stop eating so much fast food.
2 - Pack your lunch
3 - cut down on snacks
4 - count your calories

#4 being the biggest one.  You can snack and eat fast food as long as you are aware of how many calories you need to have in a day to reach your desired goals and consistently stay around that goal.
If you are going to tell me that it's just too difficult to count calories then you just haven't reached that point of no return where you want to make a change and are serious about it.
I tried a million different times to lose weight and every time it failed because I just didn't want it bad enough.
I love food too much and eventually gave up.

However, the big 300 scared me straight and I have been doing great since then.
I'm just now getting to the point where I'm getting used to actually eating a smaller amount and not craving more afterwards or constantly craving snacks.
Don't get me wrong, I still want snacks.  Just not as often is all.  A couple days ago I gave into temptation and bought a bag of Spicy Nacho Doritos and accidentally at the whole bag over the course of one work shift.  My Bad.

I know I'm thinner.
I know I'm smaller.
I know my body has gone through a good transformation so far.
However, I still see the same fat-ass when I look in the mirror.
When I see my gut hanging over.
When I see the pictures my fiance took of me, topless, at the beach.
I still hate what I see.

This means I still have a lot of room for improvement.

While 200 pounds is my next major goal I've also added another one.
Whatever my weight is come Halloween I need to be a lot skinnier because I think me and my boy are both going as Deadpool.
I don't want to be a big fat Deadpool.  Nobody wants to see a fat man in tights.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Father Son Day

So yesterday ended up being a last minute impromptu father/son day for me and the boy.

The story behind it:

A couple of days after returning from Disney the child gets a call from his sperm donor telling him that he's going to pick him up next week and take him to a movie.  He asks him what day he wants to see the movie to which the response was "Saturday."
He then asks what movie he wants to see, "Monsters University."
He then tried to talk him into Man of Steel but the kid wasn't budging.  So he ends with "OK, I'll pick you up Saturday and we'll see the movie."

Saturday rolls around and he calls asking if he wants to go to a Pool Party with some of his friends and like a child getting tired of being blown off and screwed over he said "No, you said you'd take me to the movies today."
He tried, unsuccessfully to convince him to go to the party but the child was not budging.  He wanted what he was promised.  He wanted to go to the movies.
So the sperm donor ends the conversation with "I don't even know why I bother" and hangs up the phone.

A 51 year old man (and I only use the term man as in he has a penis and helped to create another life) who can't follow through on his promises and then gets pissed off at the 7 year old child because the child wants what he was told he was going to get.
Of course this is not the 1st time that something was promised and not followed through on and the child is starting to really get tired of it.
At one point he made the comment "he doesn't deserve to be my dad" and called him a jerk.

So, later in the day the sperm donor calls back and tells him that he'll pick him up Sunday instead and take him to the movies but at this point the kid doesn't even care any more because one broken promise begat's another.

Sunday is normally our breakfast morning.  She closes every Sunday and I either Close or have off (3 of the 4 Sunday's per month) so I go over for breakfast with the family.  Yesterday was one of those Sunday's where I didn't have to work so I agreed to spend the day with MYchild because that other douche bag was blowing him off again.

After breakfast we went to my place and played some Spiderman: Web of Shadows and then headed out to see Monsters University which I really enjoyed.
Monsters Inc  is probably my favorite Pixar movie and as such I've been looking forward to University for quite a while.  The awesome part of this movie is that (with my undying love for 80's movies) it reminded me so much of Revenge of the Nerds.  They put a lot of good stuff in this movie for the parents taking their kids to go see it.  So, Instant SCORE for me.
After that we came back to my place where we played some Lego Indiana Jones, Marvel vs Capcom, Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe and Guitar Hero World Tour (because he likes to bang on the drums).

After that I drove him home and my mother-in-law baby-sat for a couple of hours while I took my love out for a couple of drinks and conversation.

All in all it was an amazing day and the closer it all becomes to a reality the more I am looking forward to having them with me all day/everyday.

Nine (hopefully) short months until the big day.

While in line buying EXTRA buttery popcorn I got to snag a couple of pics of him and two up coming movies.
Stoked about this movie next month

I'll see it, but the 1st was only O.K.


Saturday, June 22, 2013

Weight Loss Saturday - Progress

Ahh, it's Saturday once again.
Well, actually it's Friday night just a little before midnight and I'm chowing down on a Blue Moon and trying to resist the urge to hit the fridge for a 2nd (and 3rd) one with some snacks because I really didn't leave myself enough calories to pig out like I'd really like to at this moment.
So, I had enough for one Blue Moon and that is what I'm sticking too.

Other than during my vacation (and that break was planned) I've been doing really good at tracking my daily caloric intake with MyFitnessPal.  I'm finding it to be a very useful tool and I think it's helping me a good deal.

Before I went to Disney on Vacation I was hovering near the 228 mark.  Five days later I made it back and actually did pretty good at limiting my overindulgence of all things bad for me and had only gained 3 pounds putting me at 231.

Right now I am at 226 and I'm feeling good about life.

It's weird to think that my first goal was to get down to 220 and I thought that I'd feel very comfortable at that weight and just stop there.  However as time has gone on and I've gotten closer and closer to this initial goal I have begun to realize that I'm still pretty much a big fat ass and I have a lot of room for improvement still.

In fact, it was when I saw pictures of me, during vacation, topless on the beach that it truly hit me how much more work I still have left to do and how much weight I still have room to drop.

At one point I had, in jest, stated that I want to get down to 180 for my wedding next April.  Looking at my fat-ass right now I think 180 is actually a pretty reasonable goal.  However, I'm going to just say my next goal is 200 pounds and then see where I go from there.  200 is still 26 pounds away.

Before my Vacation I went to Walmart and bought some new shorts as my old ones, size 46, were too baggy.  So, I picked out the ones I wanted and grabbed two sizes - 42 and 40.
I figure'd the 40 wouldn't fit but I wanted to try them anyways in hopes that I'd be getting close to them.

So, they were the first ones I put on and I was pretty surprised to find that they fit well and I needed a belt (they came with a free belt) to keep them on comfortably.  Dropping from a 46 to a 40 is huge and i'm pretty excited about it.

The last time I was under 230 and wearing a 40 was sometime during college - over a decade ago.
It's my goal to get back near High-School weight and pant size.  So this is why 180 pounds and 36 waist are my Final targets.
I've always been a bit bigger and going anywhere lower than that I think is just plain ridiculous for me, but I think that those long term goals are achievable and maintainable.  Only time will tell but for now 200 and 38 are what I have my sights set on.

Using MyFitnessPal I'm currently being told that in 5 weeks (near the end of July) if I keep eating how I am I will be hovering around 216 pounds.  I'm beginning to track where it thinks I'll be every day so that once 5 weeks rolls around I can see how close or how far off I am and then from there I can track every couple of days to see how accurate the "predictions" are.

So, fatty grrouchie pics -
While I still can't stand the way I look - I admit I feel a TON better about myself.  Last year at this time I never would have been topless on a beach, I would not have had the confidence to do it.  However, this year it didn't bother me until I saw the pictures that my Fiance took.

Previously I showed a pic of me dressed up for my buddies wedding and I put the caption of "I'm the two guys on the left."  I'm no longer "two guys" but more like 1 guy and an 8 year old.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Grrouchie Thoughts with Hump Day Photos

First off, some Deadpool
I love the Game of Thrones design above and especially that the chair has guns from various video games like Gears of War.  Deadpool's Video Game comes out on the 25th and I have my copy pre-ordered.  One of the very few games that I have picked up this year and one of the few upon release.  I held off hoping that there would be some sort of special edition with a DP Statue but no luck, whatever.

Now that I'm back off of Vacation it's back to Wedding planning.  We just recently started looking at invitations and have found a couple that we really like.  Going to see if we can order samples in the colors we want and see how we like them up close and in person.
I do believe that she has changed her mind on the Honeymoon and it looks like we will probably be going to Hawaii now.  I expect this to change 3-5 more times before we book the flight and hotel though so this probably won't be the last you hear me talking about her changing her mind on a destination.
The good news is that no matter where we go we will be getting help from her amazing Aunt who is going to help us with hotel and flight to cut our costs down.  

I still haven't shelled out for the Skyrim Legendary Edition like I wanted to, but with Deadpool coming in the mail I can afford to hold out for a while longer.

Whilst at my local Comic Shop the other day I saw a new comic that caught my eye because of the author, Max Brooks.  Because of his amazing book World War Z and how enjoyable he was at the speaking engagement that I attended a few years back (Even though I missed out on getting my book signed) I forgive him for being his fathers kid :)  So, I picked up Issue #1 of The Extinction Parade and really enjoyed it.
It's put out by a small Comic Press called Avatar and while looking at their website I noticed that they had a special edition of the comic (limited to a 1000 print run) with a leather bound cover.  Due to getting a bonus in my PayPal account recently I decided to order the 1st 3 issues this way.  Issue #2 comes out in July and #3 in August.  After I see the quality of the 1st Issue I'll decide then if I'm going to continue to get the whole series this way (I believe it's only an 11 issue run) or if I'll just stick to a particular cover style I like.
You all will be getting pics of Issue #1 when it comes in.  I'm a bit excited.

My computer lately has decided that it likes to just disconnect me from the net randomly and often.  It's a bit annoying but I know she can hold out for a while longer.  I can get her to last until after the wedding and I'll be happy about that.  I'm thinking about talking my parents into the larger Kindle Fire HD for either Birthday or Xmas this year (maybe they'll Apple that shiz and put out a new version every year?) because right now my only wishlist is $$$$ to help pay for the wedding.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Disney Family Pics

These are all of the professional photo's taken at Disney via their Disneyphotopass where they have camera people who will take pics of you and your family at certain landmarks then they scan a card and those pics get uploaded online.
Then, if you want these photo's you have to pay for the privilege.  $14.95 just for a download or you can pay other fees and get printouts mailed to you or a CD with all your images.
I didn't feel that $14.95 was worth it for the 7 whole photo's they took of us (and that includes the duplicates as you can see below, though if you look the duplicates all have a very minor variation like someone's hand moved half an inch or slightly different light shading - whatever) so I decided to just go through my cache and save them to disc instead.
I've still got about a million other pics to post - so this will be considered part two.
Please go check out part one of my photo bomb series of Disney Photos!

I warn you - I've got some half naked ugly fatty pics probably coming up lol!

A grrouchie Disney Vacation

Well, it's about time I throw some pictures up from our Disney Vacation.

There are some others that I don't have access to so I might be making a Part Two post at some point.

Phinneas and Pherb (???) dancing

Hot chick dancing with the peeps above

Damn I'm Sexay


Snagging the Gold Tooth

Pumping Gas

At the Pumps

Lightning McQueen

More Lightning McQueen

Lightning McQueen (again)

Riding the red-neck Voiced Mater

The Man keeping him down

Sand Boobs

Hey Ladies!

Decisions Decisions

Monday, June 17, 2013

Fathers Day

It's a day late and I'm a dollar short but I want to declare Happy Fathers Day to all of those who happen to be, or are going to become or even just want to be.

There is a lot of pride in this day that I didn't know existed.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

The Best of - The Worst of - Times

I just got back from Disney and had an amazing time.
Some things I used to love I fell in love with again and I grew closer with my fiance and child and am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with them.
Not having them in the same room with me this evening is going to be very lonely.

I will throw some pictures up and do a write up at a later date.

Two days ago I checked my Facebook and saw that I lost a friend.
Those who know me know I have talked a lot about Splitter and his writing.
When I first discovered him we used to talk a lot and I felt like I really got to know him.
He fell ill and it ended up being cancer.
Two days ago he lost the battle.
For those who pray please send them towards his wife who has lost her best friend and soul mate.

Monday, June 10, 2013

500th Post - Nothing worthwhile inside

This, right here, marks my 500th post since I started doing this and kept with it.  The number would be a lot bigger if I never bothered to delete everything I had previously written (multiple times) to start anew but it is what it is.

With that I thought I should share another Milestone.

I glanced down at a red light the other day and noticed that my odometer had just passed the 100,000 mile mark.

This will be my last post until I get back from Disneyland.  We take off on Wednesday and will be coming back on Sunday.  I'm hoping to have a lot of pictures and a few good stories to tell.  Maybe even some clean ones.
I'm also hoping that 5 days out of town and eating poorly won't set me back too much.  Even if it does I'll just jump back on the path I have been taking and right my wrongs.

Today at work someone was asking me what I currently weighed and I told them.  One guy mentioned that he was 189 and he's never been as big as me.
I told him that by next April (by my wedding day) that I'd be down to his weight or less.
He told me he'd buy me two cheeseburgers if I got there!
Bet Accepted sir, bet accepted.

Here is a really good article on how Tim Tebow had to renounce Jesus and now Worships Satan.

Today the new patio door for my house got put in.
I need to go shopping and pick up a couple of pairs of shorts now that all of mine are way too big on me.
Losing weight is expensive.

Hope everyone has a great end of week and weekend and I'll catch up with y'all next week sometime!

Sunday, June 09, 2013

Pacific Poker turns 11

I remember back in the day when I first started playing poker and how horribly addicted I became to the thrill and challenge of the game.  That feeling was intensified when my local poker room started offering No Limit and I learned the ins and outs of the game at the same time as a bunch of other newbs but just happened to be a bit better than them and kept showing profit so that I could keep playing.

Everything changed when I discovered Online Poker and the ability to play whenever I wanted.

One of the first sites that I signed up for was Pacific Poker.  I got to practice in small online games and then take that information back to the bigger games I was playing at the casino.  Life was great.

I just recently received an email about a new promotion to celebrate Pacific Poker's 11th birthday and it got me waxing nostalgic about the good old days.

Starting June 13th Pacific Poker is throwing a Free-roll party.
For the 1st 10 days they are offering a $1,000 free-roll and on the 11th day they are offering a $3,000 free-roll.

So, what better way to pretend you are at the WSOP than by playing along with the home game on Pacific Poker, and you can do it all for free.  Just click the link above and enter your email address to let them know you want in on this Pacific Poker Party.  Pretty simple.

So, fire up your computer and, more importantly, Pacific Poker and lets party like it's 2002 all over again by dominating some free-rolls for good old fashioned cash!

Saturday, June 08, 2013

Weight Loss Saturday

I'm going to do my damnedest to make this my check in day.
Through my weight loss progress so far I got pretty lazy.  When you are as big as I was making little changes and eating less will allow you to lose a good amount of weight and you don't have to worry about tracking calories or points or whatever it is for whatever system you are doing.
That's what I did.  I just adjusted a little here and there and lost weight consistently and didn't worry about it.  Then I got down to about 235 and it all just sort of stopped.
I stayed there for nearly 3 months until I decided that I needed to do something about it.

I'm currently using MyFitnessPal and tracking my daily calories and making a really big effort to go near or stay under my goal every day.  I've changed up what I have been eating and made adjustments after looking at the caloric information of all the foods I was putting in my system and am currently working on getting this new routine down for what I'll be eating.
Greek Yogurt has been the MVP so far as it's loaded with protein and low calories.  I'm throwing in a decent amount of chicken and turkey and all is right with the world.

This past week while my weight loss kicked back into high gear I lost about 5 pounds and before anyone tells me that losing 5 pounds in a week is generally unhealthy I'll point out that it happens once in a while.
Over the course of the year plus that I have been changing the way I eat I have had a few weeks where I have lost 5 pounds and a few weeks where I have gained 5 pounds.  However, they are not the norm as it's usually just a pound or two here and there.
If I come back every Saturday for the next month and tell you I've lost 5 more than you can start to show concern and tell me I'm doing something wrong :)

Either way - I finally broke a plateau that I've been looking forward to for quite a while now and that is getting under 230.

I cannot remember the last time I was under 230 - It had to be back during my college years, my early college years, and we are talking over a decade at this point.

So, here's to getting to that next mark of 220 (which was my initial weight loss goal when I first set out on this journey) which I'm hoping comes around the end of July!

When I first started I was over 300 pounds. I first noticed around March of 2012 and that is when I decided enough was enough.
1 year and 3 months later - over 70 pounds lost and still another 30-50 to go!

Friday, June 07, 2013

grrouchie thoughts with photo fails

At the beginning of June I decided that I was going to be a lot more attentive towards trying to slim down so that I can look fabulous for the wedding and while only a week in I have been successful.  I'll talk a bit more about that tomorrow as I want to get back to progress as a weekly post and the 1st was a Saturday so WTF right?

Poor Edward
The kids dad has actually been showing up and trying to be in his life a little bit more often recently which could be good or bad.  I'm under the impression that he is filling the kids head with some things but I'm not there for any of it so I don't know.  Last night (for the 1st time in several months) he said he wished his dad could live with us so that we could all be a happy family.  We had to explain to him that it won't happen and everyone is happier because of it and also that if his dad lived there we would not all be a happy family - I'd be 100% out of the picture.  I think he understood.
He then went on to say that when his dad lived there he got straight A's and he had a horrible year after his dad left and has to repeat 2nd great.  So, we had to explain that while his grades were better (he never had Straight A's) he just had a bad year and adjusted poorly but he showed a lot of improvement near the end and we are both very proud of him for that.  This is why we have summer tutoring lined up and will be helping him out over the summer as well.
I'm fairly certain his dad is the one that put the whole "straight A's when he was there" thing into his head as a "see, you were better off when I was there" type of thing.
This is going to be the most frustrating part of my whole life and I hope it gets better over time (hope he wakes up before the kid decides he wants nothing to do with someone who is going to be so negative all the time).

Oh please give me the Strenght to deal with this situation :)
One of the "last straws" that caused me to finally decide to leave Pennsylvania permanently was the insane weather in Erie while I lived there.  My last winter had an overnight Ice Storm that put about three quarters of an inch of ice around my car and it took me about 45 minutes to break open the door so that I could get the car running to melt the rest of it.  Yes- Remote Car Starter would have been an amazing thing but I didn't (don't) have one.  While I'm enjoying winter evenings in the 50's and 60's and have friends complaining to me because it's still snowing in March and April I am reminded that I made the right choice because real winters suck.

I don't miss this shit

Disney is just 5 work shifts away at this point.  We are doing our last minute prepping and picking up some things that we need.  We will buy a bunch of stuff to fill the cooler Tuesday evening and then weds morning we'll buy some Ice to pack into it for the 4-however many hours it is going to take to get there.  Our plan is to leave around 8 am and hope that the kid sleeps for most of the ride over.  I've learned over the last year that having a 7 year old sit in the back seat of the car is something that takes a lot of patience to deal with.  They want to be involved in every conversation and hate quiet and boredom.  I'm considering charging up my 3DS, my PSP and my Kindle Fire to give him something to play with over the course of the drive.  Between those there should be something to keep him occupied and quiet most of the time.
On the PSP I can load some movies - and I can do the same with my Kindle Fire.  There should be enough battery life to last until we get there (and then we can start charging everything).
I'm also thinking about bringing a video game system for the downtime in the hotel room - not really for video games but to watch a movie or two.

I bought these new headphones for the car ride!
The last important piece for vacation was taken care of when my fiance got her brother to take care of the dog while we are gone.  His request was we buy him a harness so he can take him to the park as his kid loves to go to the dog park and loves to play with the dog.  So, she is off doing that today while I'm wasting time on the internet, playing video games and reading comic books.
Lets hope he doesn't fun my secret stash of chocolate again!

I'm almost done with Avengers vs X-Men and then I can start on Marvel NOW.  I'll be done before vacation starts.
I've also started playing Skyrim again.  I'll probably never be into video games like I used to be, it's harder for me to find some that I really want to keep playing so I'll stick with games that I can dump hundreds of hours into and still able to find new things to do.  I've only bought 2 new games this year and when I pick up Skyrim Legendary Edition that will be the 3rd.  I used to do that before a month was over lol.