Thursday, May 31, 2012

A Five Way Hole

My day yesterday started innocently enough, I went to work and realized where I left my bottle of jerk-off lotion.
Oh snap, there you are!
Work went by reasonably well and I actually got everything caught up which is actually impressive.  However, Monday is going to be the day of reckoning because I've got 4 days off in a row and fear for the worst.  I tried to make my life as easy as possible for this coming Monday by shooting out a series of emails to management in order to help the office keep pace of where it should be.  It's probably asking a lot, but I'm hoping for even a minor amount of help while I am away so that I do not come back to angry customers.  Only time will tell.

As evening approached I really needed something to do and decided to hit up a quick poker session. Not knowing exactly where I wanted to go I hit the interstate and just drove until I either ran out of real estate or my car veered towards one of the casinos.  My stop ended up being the Mirage.

Mirage was not nearly as busy as I was hoping for but when I showed up there was an open seat at two different 1/2 NL games and I choose the one with the only player that I recognized - Poker Muffin.

Some of you might recognize that nick/handle/whatever and others might not.  I don't think she reads the circle of blogs and as such I don't expect her to freely stumble up on this, however I have been playing poker with her since 2006 I do believe.

She was one of the original crew that became regulars at the Treasure Island that included prominent members of the AVP community and founding members of the (now defunct) VPN community.  It's always nice when I'm out and about and I run into friendly people and get to catch up.  Last night was a great night.

So, I chose my seat at her table and between her and I is another Pittsburgh Steelers who's wearing a hat showing off the best spots logo there is.  He was a great guy from LA who happened to run like ass most of the night but took everything in stride and generally had a good time.  A while later we were also joined by two of Poker Muffins friends - one a dealer and one a cocktail waitress.

Before the two other friends joined us we kicked off the table in great fun fashion, a round of drinks.
Fuck Yeah!
Our side of the table had 4 Jager Bomb's and the other side had a couple of random shots that were much more girly than good-old-fashioned-fuck-you-up-quick-Jager-Bombs!  Either way, the shots went down quick and the beer started coming and a fun evening was in the making.

I started off my poker session with a gamble (anyone who has played with me recently knows that this is really nothing new and some would say it's probably a big leak).  There was a small raise to $7 or similar and a caller or two so I got in there with 57d then there was a short stack push for $43 or so and another short stack push for $60.  It folded back to me and I put both on big cards and just waiting to get their money in.  There was one other player who almost pushed but ended up folding and after my call he said he folded A9s.
The flop came out Ax9 and of course both Shorties have Ax for the last ace to hit the flop.  On the turn I had straight and flush draw outs but nothing came and I mucked without showing.  Nothing exciting happened for a while on my end.

Early in the session PM was telling about her friend who has a 5 way headphone adapter so that others can listen to his music as well and we started talking about how we should have a session with one of those and just have everyone in one corner jam out.  This is when she blurted out "I really need to get a 5-way hole."
Oh yes, with alcohol, fun and lowered inhibitions the night was on!

After all the friends had taken a seat at the table more fun started to be had.  There was one pot that I won about $200 off of one of the ladies and a little while later she was talking to me about the hand and saying how she couldn't get away with it and never expected me to have what I had.  She wasn't bitter about it but said that if she had won she definitely would have tipped better.
I will admit that while I in no way stiffed the dealer she was by far the best tipper at the table.  Next time that she is at the table with me and I win a buy-in off of her I will make a point of tipping better and letting the dealer know it's from the lady in the xxx seat!!

Before getting off to my climatic ending I'll give a little detail about my session.
It started with a $60 gamble that did not pay off.
I raised early and often at this table, doing so mostly in increments of  $7 which was an accident until I realized it and then I just kept it up for most of the night. After losing my $60 I then proceeded to beat out Poker Muffin in a hand where I turned top 2 and she got away from my river bet by narrowing down my holdings to one of 3 hands - 2 of which she lost two and once she split with.

Buy-in #1 disappeared when I rivered a straight in a horribly bloated pot against two weak players but the flush also hit on the river. The bet (and call by another player) was such that I just felt I couldn't fold because of the size of the pot.  I was right in the fact that the guy who bet down I had beat - however the caller did hit the flush on the river and proceeded to slow roll me and royally piss me off because of it.
After I called the bet on the river the guy in 1st position said "Any flush will take it down, I have a set" and flipped over his cards.  Next guy just sat there looking like a tool and I tried to end the action by saying I hit the straight and flipped my cards over.
Other guy still sat there until the dealer showed my straight on the board and then looked at his hand for about 15-20 seconds before turning over his rivered flush.
I know I uttered a comment that was NSFW and that the dealer could have actually warned me about, but nothing happened and I went to my wallet to generically make my stack larger.

By the way, the dealers on this evening were awesome, especially Alaskagirl!  We got away with a lot of shit said at the table that some other dealers and some other rooms would have warned us about multiple times before asking us to leave.  So - to that end I'd like to give a big thank you because this table was bloody fun but we didn't actually get out of hand. We were just enjoying the evening.

A bit later I hit a set and stacked someone but then proceeded to give a good portion of it back when that person called my PFR, then my flop bet with top pair average kicker and was nice enough to turn two pair.  Whatevs.

Most of the evening I sat with a stack around $200 and a buy-in twice that and actually after a while learned the gentle art of folding pre-flop.  Finally I got into a hand where I called a raise (pot odds yo) because everyone else did as well with 45 offsuit.  It was $10 and there were 7 others in the pot at this point so my small blind hand decided to just come along.
Flop K45 with two diamonds and I yell out bingo (in my head - out loud would have been rude).
I check, PFR checks and chick who two paired me bets out $20.  Maybe a caller and maybe two but I raise it to $60 and when it folds to her she insta pushes.  This took me back because it was difficult to put her on a hand.  She could have easily flopped a set but I discounted that because I was holding two of her outs.  She could have hit a random two pair (suited cards, the kids like them) and she could have been top pair flush draw.  I wasn't sure but I belched out a call and turned my hand over.  She flipped her AKs over and I thought it was TPTKFD but it was only back door flush draw because I misread the board.  The turn was a blank and the river boated me and now I'm back to even.
A bit later I raise and everyone on a 3 table radius calls me.  I flop a flush draw and put in a re-raise when someone bets into me and we are down to 3 handed.  Turn puts the flush out and a guy bets into me so I smooth call and the last guy to act decides he wants all of his chips in the middle.
The guy who bet into me thought about it for-fucking-ever and finally decided to fold.  I announce that I have the current nuts and can't figure out how to fold so I put my chips in.  My A high flush is bigger than his Jack high flush so I get a pile of chips being pushed to me.
I asked the other guy what he had and he said top pair and Flush Draw to the Q.  Oh why did he pick that moment to learn to fold.  BOOO!

Either way, I now was showing a profit and when I racked up I was still showing a profit.  Good times.

Now that the poker portion of our broadcast is over it's back to some minor story telling.
5 way hole and a fun gal!

Drinking and having fun PM's friend with the 5 way hole shows up and she gets excited.  So, he whips it out to show us and next thing you know there are 5 of us all plugged in and Jamming to Michael Jackson songs.
1st song is Dirty Diana and I then put in a request for Smooth Criminal.  At the end of this long (approaching on Rob long) post I'll link up to a bunch of the songs that the 5 of us jammed to while pretending to still care about the poker game.  After the two MJ songs it became a game of pass the adapter so we could take turns picking songs for people to listen to.  It was a goddamned blast.

As the night was winding down someone played I kissed a girl and PM's one friend started talking about how she has kissed many girls but has a friend who promised if she ever kissed a girl that she would allow her to be her first.  Then it turned to how PM really wanted to make out with her and this song was a subtle hint.  After a few other song references that I threw in there stating that it would make the hint more obvious (Take Me Home Tonight) everyone was cracking up.

However, a song or two later PM decided to pipe in with "I've had enough of this and I'm doing it solo right now.  I'm not kissing a girl and I'm unsure about cock."
Laughter - the best medicine!!
The cock comment was reference to an earlier song that she didn't particlularly like that used the word "dick" a lot, however she - in her drunken stupor (joking) - just associated the word cock with the song instead of dick.  Simple mistake.

It was a f'n blast and I showed a profit.  What more can I ask? Also, as I was racking up my chips my alarm went of - which meant that I had officially been up for 24 hours.
I got home and took out Monster and took a nap.  3 hours later he woke me up to piss again and I'm assuming I'll need a nap very shortly or I'll be in bed pretty early tonight!

Songs played for our poker table 5-way (in no particular order).

It was an MJ themed night with other stuff mixed in that I don't remember quite as well!

Stay thirsty my friends.
I stole the "woman said" label from Rob for 2 or 3 quotes used above.  I thought he'd enjoy that.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Dear Rob Thanks for the ...

Dear Rob (admin and all around swell guy at Robvegaspoker),

I am writing to tell you that I really appreciate your contribution to the get grrouchie rich quick scheme that I am trying to develop. While you may have paid $200 for your blog post you have done something even greater.  You contributed to my "Play video games really loud at night and not disturb the peace" fund.

Yes, that is right.  With some of your contributions to the grrouchie fund you bought the following.

This is for my Playstation 3 gaming and entertainment system

This is for my Xbox 360 gaming system

MmMmmm - Special Edition

Of course, me being a big cheap ass that I am I did not pay full price for any of the above (especially the titties - never pay full price for titties is a lesson I have learned multiple times).  I got them all on sale and some with even further discounts than normal sale price.  So, Overall I am quite happy with you funding my addictions.

The good news is that it does not end there.  No way Jose.
With your contribution to the "buy shit that I was going to pass on because I didn't have a suga daddy donating lots of benji's to me at the poker table" also has me pre-ordering this for when it is released this coming August.

I have also found a whole bunch of other stuff that I'm interested in getting so I do have one question for you, When are you coming back to town so we can play some more?

(All the above was harmless teasing of dear old Rob.  No Robs were hurt in the making of this blog post but in all honesty it was HIS money that went to buying all that shit - and I still have some left over.)

Sunday, May 27, 2012

I'm going to admit that I am really going to miss
Sure, it had a lot of immature comments and pretty much was just a self serving website for the express purpose of making fun of one person but there were some good redeeming things about it - well at least one, for me.

The thing is, following the chronicles of TBC is kind of mind numbing.  At first you think it's a big joke and then you come around and realize that it is not actually a joke.  This is all real and it is the life of Tony.  After you come to that realization you start digging for info from some of the older websites that he has blogged on and you see the exact same patterns emerge.  Tony is a circle, his life follows the exact same pattern over and over whether you are talking about poker, VBJ or women.  There is a pattern to everything he does and try as hard as he might (and no matter how much you root for the guy) that pattern doesn't appear to have a breaking point. It's a perfect circle and there is no derailing it.

The last while I've come to love because it was a well written summary of whatever Tony happened to be posting on his own blog. It was creative, it was funny and most of all it summed everything up in a manner that I could really get behind.
I pretty much never looked at the comments because they really weren't worth my time.  It was the same thing as taking 30 14 year old kids and letting them create their own government where KKK and anal rape jokes were not only funny, they were law!
So, I read for the articles and then I'd read Tony's actual blog for the comments and interactions.

In fact, it now appears as though TBC's blog might end up going to a thing of the past as well since he's experimenting with a forum of sorts.  Who knows what the future holds.

I can tell you I'm looking forward to the meet up in June/July as it's going to be a lot of fun putting faces to the handles.

Web Comics

Nothing I really feel like talking about tonight so I'm just going to give y'all a list of web comics that I really enjoy.
These are the ones I check daily to see what new postings have happened (you know, unless they only update once a week then checking daily would be kind of stupid).

Scenes From a Multiverse
Bearmageddon - updates on Wednesdays
Amazing Super Powers
hatefarm - updates once or twice per month
legacy control
I am Arg


Splitter has gone missing and a certain grrouch decided to use that opportunity to drink his beer and leave his underwear lying around.

So, more important than just making a random guest post elsewhere is the information revealed in the comments section!

Please check it out and let me know what y'all think!

Comic Books

Comic Books - most of us from the dork kingdom have had some form of experience with them over the years. However this is one medium that I pretty much missed out on and am now just starting to get into at my advanced age.
I don't know what it is about them that I never liked - they seemed to be perfect for me.  Maybe it was just the financial commitment that I wasn't able to afford or that most of my money went elsewhere.

In High-School I had gotten into them just a little bit but it was mostly Beavis and Butt-Head and Ren & Stimpy comics that I bothered collecting.  I can only remember one issue of X-Men that I ever bought and that one had something to do with Wolverine fighting The Hulk.

Things that I was more into that took my money:
Trading Cards - Garbage Pail Kids - Serial Killer Cards - Beavis and Butt-Head, etc
Video Games
Magic: The Gathering

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.  The above were already expensive enough so even if I wanted to read comic books I wouldn't have the money for it.  M:TG was by far the most expensive hobby that I had but at the time it was well worth everything I ever put into it.  The joy of opening packs, sealed deck drafts, going to big and small tournaments, driving to Columbus Ohio for Regionals every year, Pittsburgh for States, etc.  I loved every minute of it.
I cringed a little bit when I parted with some of my favorite cards even if it was for a good cause.
It hurt when I parted with my Nicol Bolas deck (even if I did buy my first car with that money) and trading away the Beta Black Lotus and my Power 9 - I still cringe when I hear what kind of value is associated with those cards now compared to when I had them.
But, time moved on and I moved to Vegas and stopped playing the game.  I still have a binder or two of some of my favorite cards at the time that I just never parted with and I look through them from time to time for nostalgia but most of the time I have no desire to ever play again (unless there is a pre-release and then I keep telling myself I should just play in those for the fun of it).

So, now I'm older and my tastes have changed again and I'm just starting to get into comic books.
It all started, innocently enough, with The Walking Dead.  I love zombies - a lot.
I know everyone was raving about the TV show and I really wanted to watch it but I was treating it like a movie that was coming out based on a book.  Most of the time I like to have read that book first so I can compare and contrast - and generally the books is better because it has more info and detail.
So, I picked up Issue 1 of The Walking Dead one day on the way to work and really loved it.  I started looking into collections on Ebay and stuff so I could catch up and that's when a Google Search turned up comixology which just happened to be releasing the first 5 volumes of The Walking Dead with a 50% off sale.  You can't beat that with a stick (you have to shoot them in the head) so I bought all five volumes hoping that I'd be able to get into the series and it wouldn't let me down.

So then I started asking around about what other comics were out there to read and what others recommend and man is the comic book universe vast.  There is just too much good stuff to catch up on and I'm really going to have to figure out a system and a budget for what I want to read and what I can afford.
My new habit is forming and it appears to be stronger than crack.
I've been grabbing a lot of free issues to give things a try and have found some good and some pretty blah. I have not settled on what exactly I want to read consistently just yet but I have found a few.

I will catch up to current production of The Walking Dead.  I love everything I have read so far.
Detective Comics have been pretty damned good for the 1st 5 issues that I have read so I will probably continue there.
Maybe my 1st comic related Tat!!
I just started Vol 3 of Deadpool and he is right up my alley. I bought a few issues since they were on sale and I'm really liking what I'm getting into right now.  However, the one thing that gets me is when, during an issue, they make reference to something that happened elsewhere - in a different comic - and they tell you exactly where it was (Wolverine Origins issue #21-#25) and I immediately want to jump ship over there in those issues so that I can follow along fully.
I've got an addictive personality - when I really get into something it consumes me and I want more.  Where is my rich, loving, supporting future ex wife when I need her?

For now I think I am going to focus mainly on just The Walking Dead and Dead Pool so that I can get caught up.  Once both of those are caught up to current issues I will figure other things out from there.
If I allow myself a 3rd series then it's going to be Irredeemable which is essentially a "what if Superman went bad" with different characters of course.  I've read 3-5 of the issues and really like it. I know that the series just recently ended as the last issue came out this month so I'm hoping there is a sale that will allow me to buy a bunch of the issues cheaper than normal.
There are other series that I really want to read, Avengers vs X-Men for instance (but I'm not paying $3.99 per issue honestly) but I can catch up to them when they are released as a collection I guess.

Now, pass me a beer and my Kindle Fire and let me start reading.

Saturday, May 26, 2012


For those of you who have never played Strat-O-Matic football it is essentially a more dorky fantasy football based off of previous seasons instead of the current season.

Strat-O-Matic (the company) does lots of research and comes out with a set of cards every year to represent the NFL teams (they also do this for Baseball - their most popular game - Hockey and Basketball as well).
It is a card and dice based game with a good amount of strategy that keeps the game fun.  There are flaws, but for the most part I really love the game.

I started playing during my college years when the league was a face-to-face league and that version of the game/league was by far my favorite game ever played.  Doing F2F you are able to create rules to suit yourself/league and of course there is the addition of staring down your opponent and trying to out play/coach them.  It's very akin to poker in that regards and I feel that if you are good at poker you actually have a good advantage playing Strat Football as well - it's all about reading people and their tendencies.  Pick up on their tells and you will have an advantage (though you still have to succumb to random chance, the luck of the die and some other things as well).

After moving to Vegas the league ended up becoming a computer league because it was getting too hard for people to travel back and forth to play games (people lived in New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania and Indiana). So the league evolved for everyone to keep in touch and I dropped out for a few years.

I ended up getting back into the league and my second season back is coming to an end.
The first year, the team I took over for, was pretty crappy and I was in the bottom 3rd.  However through a couple trades and draft picks and the power of Tom Brady my team is currently middle of the road and has a small possibility to squeeze into the last playoff spot (2 games to go).  Next year is going to be pretty bad other than Tom Brady though - but we'll get to that after trades and the draft is over.

Since my entire world revolves around Google, I have been using Google sites to build my teams web page.
I'm hoping to have it complete by the time the next season rolls around.  It's nothing fancy but it will work for what I want to use it for.  I don't think I particularly like Google Sites as my web builder of choice but it made it easy for me to just grab a template and start editing it as I saw fit.
It's probably been a decade since I have played with building a real website and using HTML and all that jazz and I know a ton has changed so I just didn't feel like diving into that and re-learning currently.  I'll probably get to that down the road when I feel like I have more time.

So, feel free to check out my crappy little site and look at the Las Vegas Scumdogs football team.

I'm working on a Logo Still - probably same guy that did my grrouchie logo.
I've got the offensive stats updated but nothing defensively yet.
I also do not have anything from the previous year up yet.

I'm hoping to do a post either before or after each game and continue to evolve the scumdogs site to something a bit better.
Either way - have at it.
Tell me what you like, what you don't like and make sure to call me a pansy for using something crappy like Google Sites instead of just using code and designing the bloody thing myself!

Friday, May 25, 2012

Heart to Heart

Kind of random and out of the blue but I ended up having a really good conversation with my store manager today.  It started as she believes that I am going to be leaving the company in the near future.
I assured her that this is not my intention and not in my immediate future plans.
She asked me what my plans/goals were and I spilled them out to her ending exactly at the same spot that they did when I first interviewed with her 3 years ago.

She asked me why I didn't put in for the last job that posted and basically hinted that I probably would have gotten it and from there I explained to her that I didn't want to take on a position that I have not had before (overseeing departments that I haven't worked) with the amount of stress in my life because of my irrational fears that I would somehow mess things up and hurt my current career path because of the amount of stress I am under that does not involve my current work environment.
It was a good 20-30 minute talk (that probably ran me into overtime for the week) to let her know how I feel and where I am coming from.
I also convinced her to let me to come in on Saturday or Sunday for a couple of hours to get caught up so that come Monday I'm not horribly backlogged.

I will take all of this and lead into a conversation with her about getting promoted in my current department as I really love my schedule but hate my bonuses.
Also, they are bringing in a full time person to help out in the office which will make my life so much easier and less stress free.

Now if there were only a way to get rid of my non work related stress!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

As The Debt Winds Down

---I cannot control how people make me look elsewhere, but I can control how people attempt to make me look on my own blog and thus, unfortunately, I am turning to having to moderate comments before they become posted.  ---

I know that my non poker posts don't get many hits compared to when I actually talk about poker, but whatever.
Maybe by the time next year rolls around I'll actually be able to get out on a more regular basis and at least be able to come at y'all once a week with an actual poker post.  However, until that time it's all random all the time.

Today is kind of debt-centric.

Of course, I have had the minor setback of the $6300 oil change which I started detailing here. However, even that is just a minor setback at this point.

The funny thing is that other than my initial annoyance I really haven't let that get me down.  I reacted to it well and am of the opinion that even if I cannot get the guy or company to pay for the damaged that was caused I can live with that and have no ill will.  I truly am trying to turn over a new leaf and look at life differently and I think that the biggest determining factor is the fact that I am so close to being out of debt that adding a little bit more temporarily doesn't sent me into a panic and depression and an "Oh shit, how am I going to afford this" like it used to.
No, now I look at it as a "shit happens" type of scenario that I will overcome and learn from.  This is a totally different grrouch than the past and I am thankful for it.

I am also trying to turn over some other new leaves in my life. I am trying to be more patient and nicer in general. I am trying to be less rude and offensive (towards other people).  I'm still going to be rude and I'm still going to make my jokes but I am going to go back to making them focused on me.  Self Deprecating humor is pretty much the best shit there is anyways and I can say whatever I want and others won't take offense because the joke is on me and not on them.  This will take time, but I'm working on it - one insult at a time.

In this section here I wrote and deleted 2-3 paragraphs worth of words about 7 times.
I guess that means that whatever I was trying to express I should keep to myself or that I just haven't found the right words to put it into proper perspective.  I am unsure of which is the correct answer though.
It's going to take a while but I should turn it into it's own separate post.  This is one of those few ideas that I need to figure out a way to flesh out and let it become whatever it needs to become.
It's about mortality and relationships.
Of course, I could just fall asleep tonight and wake up never thinking about it again which would be easier :)

Speaking of which - I'm really tired for some reason.  I think it has to do with having to be in a long boring meeting for 8 hours.  I do not miss the classroom setting!

*Right before posting* This post was less debt-centric than I had planned - but I don't want to delete the whole thing and not have something to post!

Stay Thirsty My Friends

83 Year old Corpse Holds the Secrets to the Universe

All praise be to Allah or whomever you wish to praise on this miracle of mornings.
A part time gynecologist has determined that while peeling back layer upon layer of skin from the corpse of an 83 year old's vagina that he has found this magical G-spot that makes women act the fool and lose control of themselves for a few moments.

Yes, you read that right (and if you have used Google as much as I have in the past hour or so you would have read that right a few hundred times).

This man flew to another country where it's perfectly acceptable to discect dead vagina's so that he could study it and look for the G-spot.

This just goes to prove that gyno's are made differently than most because I for one am perfectly happy looking for the G-spot in a 20 something year old's without having to actually remove flesh (you know, unless I didn't clip my nails properly that particular day).  And I can do this all from the comfort of my own country, wherever I happen to be at that moment!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

A Hodge Podge Post

Played another session with Rob when I heard that Stump was out and playing as well.  I figure'd that I had nothing better to do so I headed down and joined their game as soon as a seat was open.

First thing I noticed was that at another table there was a guy playing with his dog in his lap.  That is not a mistake - he had his poodle in his lap the entire time and had evidently been playing a long time as it was no longer a shock to people.

Getting to the table Rob introduced me to Stump (and really, I'm saying Stump because right now names are avoiding me.  I think it's Chris but I'm not 100% sure and I'm really not feeling the whole "go look it up really quick and then come back and keep typing."  I just want to roll with it, yo).  It might be Stumpy, it might be PBnJ - I do know that his avatar is the Houston Texans avatar and that makes him less likely to succeed :)

Upon sitting at the table I played one of the more uneventful sessions I have ever played.  I ended up losing half my stack over the course of 3-4 hours and with the fact that I never really hit a flop I'm pretty happy that I only lost half my stack.
I raised a good amount but the flop was always opposite.  If I raised garbage the flop came out AKT and if I raised KQs the flop came out 9 high.  However, I was able to win enough pots through continuation bets or just randomly stealing them when no one else wanted them to keep myself afloat.

I did lose about 30 or so bucks when I called a guys push with 72 and my middle pair was no match for his top pair.  In my defense I raised that hand and got a caller when the short stack pushed all his chips in. So, I made a big raise to get everyone else out as I figure'd that my two cards were live against his "big cards."  What ended up being amusing, to me, was that he pushed with 85s instead of some random A or K.  Either way, his hand held and I lost a few chips.

Of course, I wanted to use that image to my advantage but I never got any great hands and I never really hit enough of a flop to get paid off.  In fact, over the course of the entire session I didn't even see one single pocket pair.  I had AK once, AQ twice and AJ 33 million times.
Of course, If it has not been written yet you'll all get to look forward to Rob telling the tail of a great hand he played where he went up against Ace Jack.
This same hand, about 40 minutes later, got Rob to utter a phrase so out of character for him that I can't remember it but I thought it was funny as hell (I was sleepy when he said it and I'm now sleepy almost 24 hours later.  Hopefully Rob remembers).

Upon leaving the poker room to go home I walked by the table games where I watched an amazingly attractive hooker lead a young black gent to a private area where they could talk without interruption.  At that point I was standing about 30 feet away and I leaned up against the wall and started texting Rob about how I actually spotted one.  I watched for about 2 minutes or so hoping to see them strike a deal and wonder off to commit sins and pass around STD's but it was too long of a negotiation for my patience.  I needed sleep and I needed it immediately.

Jump forward 15 hours or so for this next random tale that doesn't fit in with anything else I have said above.
I was driving home from work and stopped at the intersection of Rainbow and Charleston when I saw one of those sign guys doing that spinning thing they do so well.  Some white guy walks up to him and Sign Guy drops his sign to shake his hand and then put something in his pocket.
After about 30 seconds of conversation Sign Guy puts his hand back in his pocket and when it emerges he is palming what looks like a small bag of cocaine, they shake hands again and Random White Guy puts his hand into his pocket quickly and brings it back out empty.  He walks away and Sign Guy picks his sign back up and starts waving it around while walking away from the area to a better location.
Good times.

Now, I'm tired and once again Must Sleep Immediately!
I just got back from some weird kids park that involved sand, water, Dinosaurs, slides and ducks or something.  I dunno - maybe it was the acid.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Blogger Poker (Pt 2)

As Poker Grump said several times during our session "Poker is easy."
And yes, it certainly is when you are being run over by the deck.

In the 1st Installment of last nights tomfoolery I covered most everything except the actual poker itself.  And, since at one point I used to claim that this is/was a Poker Blog I figure that I at least owe it to myself to blog about poker when I get around to playing some.

However, because I'm easily side tracked, I'd like to share a short story before I get to the actual poker.
I discovered, after being made fun of by my trio of cohorts, that there is a bathroom much closer than the one I'm used to hitting up.  They all pointed and said "You know, with a casino as big as this there are bound to be more than one bathroom."  So, next time I had to talk to a man about a horse I made my way over to this new found pissing spot to enjoy the "more comfortable" accommodations.

While doing what it was that I came to do and making erotic faces (don't we all?) I got to overhear the end of a conversation from two buddies who enjoy pissing together.  As the one finished he started making sure everything was tucked back into place and turned to his buddy and said "You know, I'm not washing my hands this time" to which his buddy replied "Well me neither."
Then they left the room, comments fulfilled.
This was humorous to me mainly because this is a conversation that I have never had, nor ever thought about having with friends.  If I choose to not wash my hands I don't feel the need to announce it in advance to anyone, let alone a room full of total strangers with dick in hand.
And, the fact that his buddy thought it was a good enough of an idea to go along with perplexes me.  This, to me, is the perfect time to rip your buddy a new asshole and try to embarrass him.

Now, for what you all came for.

Upon arriving at the casino I was immediately seated at table 6 and requested my table change to follow "that old man right there."
Rob got called for his table change and I was taking his seat.  Not too long later my wish was granted and I'm now sitting at a table with two people I am familiar with and who I know I'll have a good evening talking to.

My goal was to play tight and try to not get involved in too many pots. I only brought one buy-in and I really wanted to last at least until the Grump showed up (he was taking his time to photograph the eclipse).
So, all of that goes out the window when I see my first hand is QQ (1st of many times for the evening) and I raise it up to $17 I believe.  No callers but Rob made sure to grumble about me raising (after he limped I believe) so I made my typical comment about "Doesn't everyone raise their first hand" to which he replied "Well, you sure as hell do."
After the fold around I showed my hand and said "Sometimes I even have a hand when I raise" or something to similar effect.
The night picked up quickly as I called a small raise with 88 and 5 or so people went to the flop.  The flop came out a beautiful J83 with two spades.  (I feel horrible here because I don't remember 100% exact details).  I believe that Prudence put out a bet which I think got a caller.  When it got to me I decided that 1) the board was too draw heavy and 2)I want to let Prudence know where I stand so I 3) raised.  I believe that Guy X called the raise and then Prudence pushed.  It folded to me and I announced that I have no choice but to call which but a look of dread on the face of Dear Prudence.
Guy X was not very happy about this situation and folded.  It appears as though everyone and their mother hit this flop and sadly it was Prudence and I who hit the hardest.
I flipped over my middle set and she showed her top 2.  Guy x claimed to have J9 of spades (which would have gotten there on the turn) and another guy said he had AJ.
My hand holds up and Prudence announces that she will be gunning for me.

Not too long after this my favorite dealer comes to the table.  Tall, bald and good personality.  He gives Prudence some cough drops and I let him know he needs to share.  Next thing I know I've got two beside my chips and I'm a happy camper.
Kirk settles in and deals me 8-4 of spades in the big blind and I check when a lot of people limp.  The flop comes out all goddamned pretty with a 4, a second 4 and then finally and 8.  Yes, the grrouch flopped himself a boat.
I checked and either Random person bet and Rob raised or Rob bet - I don't remember. I must be getting old. It got back to me and I raised and Rob called.  I was not quite happy about this.
The turn came out something to which I paid no attention to and so I put out a hefty bet.  Rob thought about it and I told him that he just needed to go away because my next bet, on the river, was all in no matter what fell next.
Prudence looked at the board and had flashbacks of the nasty 8's that I held against her and gave me a look. I shrugged like "yeah, I've got it" and Rob finally called.
The River was shown and I pushed much like I said I was going to expecting Rob to just go away after my HUGE sign of strength (the betting, the talking, the basically stating out loud I hit harder than you did buddy) and I showed my boat.  Rob flipped over his trips as well and I do understand that it's bloody difficult to get away from that hand.
Less than 30 minutes and a triple up - sadly all off of my friends and basically none off of anyone else.
However, my main happiness was that I knew was going to book a winning session and I could just play tight and wait for hands and just talk and have fun.
Whatever - shit doesn't go down like that.
I was dealt about 30 pocket pairs all night long, I saw a ton of flops with them and I hit a few sets.

The rest of my night was similar and I avoided big losses against an over pair and against flopped quads (where the guy checked every street to me).
I hit 4 total sets and stacked two people.
I flopped a boat and stacked someone.
I turned a boat and stacked someone.
And I won a bunch of other random pots where I didn't get the opportunity to stack people.

During the evening we had one had that was raised to $7 either UTG or UTG+1 and everyone at our table called it and I think 4 people from other tables called it as well.  It got to Rob in the big blind and I told him that pot odds dictates he has to make this call.  he agonized for some reason and eventually folded and I told him that I couldn't want to get home so that I could make fun of him.
Of course the flop comes out and he grimaces like he would have nailed it and tripled up or whatever so I made sure to let him know was only $5 more and he has very poor decision making!!!

Grump called a PFR from Prudence with The Most Powerful Hand in Poker and flopped trips and took a pretty good pot off of her (This is a theme that ran strong most of the evening with her.  She kept getting really good second best hands).

Overall a pretty fun and entertaining evening with a huge score by me.  Now I have to figure out what to do with all this new found wealth.
Should I invest it in hookers and blow?
Should I get a massage with a happy ending?
Should I get an unhappy ending?
Should I invest it in my future (A new computer with a kick ass graphics card to play Diablo 3 on)?
Should I get it in all ones so that my wallet looks bigger and I can attract the chicks?
Should I pay someone to sit behind me at the poker table and call me baby?
I do not know the answers to any of these important questions.

Blogger Poker (part 1)

There are so many different titles that I wanted to use for this blog post, or even subtitles.

I wanted to start out with "You can't win them all ... so crush the ones you do"
I wanted to do a play on Rob's ending for his recent post (which also references Grumps post) which is "Three sides to every story ... Rob's, Grumps, The Truth"
"Poker is easy"

This is the night that almost didn't happen for me.  With the computer problems that started a couple of days back and slaving away trying to make my computer love me again (which, by the way, she does) I had been tired and exhausted.  This exhaustion, of course, had nothing to do with the fact that I've had many late nights and my body still insists on getting me up at somewhere between 5:30 - 6:30 and calls that sleeping in.
So, tired is a mild way to put it.

I started my day off installing Diablo 3 finally.  It's been a journey that I think started me going to a strange site to test my computer for compatibility, ruining some boot sector files which I guess were not repairable, having to erase all of my data and start over from scratch (which was an easier process back when I was rocking Windows 95 and NT and had a desk top instead of a lap dance) and resetting my computer back to it's original factory settings.
I'm just thankful that I use Google Chrome as my browser of choice (I am Google's bitch at this point) because it backed up all my settings and bookmarks to the mysterious cloud where Tu-Pac, Biggie and Elvis hang out while trying to corrupt my data with pot, hookers and PB and Banana sandwiches.  I love you Big E!

So, after a little bit of that I fall asleep and take a nap without remembering that I'm supposed to be at a home poker game at 1 o'clock.  I get the call at 5 after asking me if I am still coming so I throw some clothes on and hurry out there while I'm being blinded away.
I last less than two hours only getting one real playable hand (QQ) and still trying to play 75% of my hands.  I leave shortly thereafter because I think I'm going to be meeting up with a chick (which never happens) and end up at home playing some Diablo 3.

After being my first few quests I notice I've gotten a message from the Grump himself asking me if I was still planning on meeting up with Rob.  I think about it for 3 seconds and ask Rob where he is, is he playing and a series of messages later I have set up a group meeting of the blogging mind at BSC.
Rob states that he has to eat (whatever) and Grump states that he wants to watch some chick named Eclipse dance (more believable) and head out anyway because I don't play often and I'm planning on making it an early night to take care of some other business (and this never materializes).

I get to BSC and there are seats open.  I am pointed to table 6 where I will be replacing the elderly boob lover who is changing tables to sit next to a lovely young Prudence. I tell the floor man that I'd love to follow the old tally-whacker over to that table and purty puhleese put my name up for a table change - he is powerful and makes it happen.  I play for maybe an orbit folding the likes of 82 before getting the call to move tables and get into one of my favorite seats, the 1 seat.
This was good because Prudence (and after all this time I finally got her real name which I thought was cool) was in the 4 seat and Rob was in the 5 so they were mid-table and easy to talk with.

This was the set up. I've got to head into work and I've still got a lot of typing to do including some really bad poker on Rob's part (not as bad as he makes it out to be), some good lines by everyone's part and just a good time in general.  THIS is the main reason I play poker.  I love to socialize and have fun. This is the reason I will probably never move beyond the 1-2 NL games as well because at these tables I can afford to not study every detail of my opponents while chatting up those whose company I enjoy and still turn a profit (at least, I used to be able to until someone shit in my Wheaties.).

I also had Prudence make a comment which leads me to believe she might have actually read a recent post I made.  Makes me smile - I just want to entertain others after all.

Part two maybe coming later today - depends on how hammered I am at work and when my evening plans will start.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

The Walking Dead

I spent the last few days working on fixing my computer and reading/watching The Walking Dead.
I've always been a zombie fan and knew once the TV show came out that I'd love it.  So, when season 1 got released on Blue Ray I immediately picked one up even though it took me until yesterday to actually put it in my PS3 to watch.  Yeah, I procrastinate.  I have to be in the right mood for something or I'm willing to leave it on my shelf for years.
However, before I started watching it I decided to start reading the comics.  Now, right before Season 2 started to air I bought Issue #1 on the way to work and really enjoyed it.  Wasn't a big fan of the whole Black/White thing with no color but it was still well drawn and the story was good.  This is when I decided to buy more.
I had headed back to the comic store a day or so later and looked into getting Vol 1 but what I saw was an awesome hard cover version that was selling for way too much. So, instead of buying it I headed home to research where to find it cheaper.
Turns out that by doing research I stumbled upon the Comixology app for my Kindle Fire and decided that:
1) to save space
2) because it's cheaper
3) easier to find what I want when I want
I decided that I would just enter the direction that companies are pushing us and enter the digital age for comics. (Since this time I have bought some older comics off Ebay, but those are going to be exceptions and not the rule).  So, I found everything at the right time because The Walking Dead had just been released digitally for the first time and Vol 1-5 were all on sale for half off.
I instantly purchased all of them (after having only read one issue) and downloaded them.

This brings us to maybe two weeks ago when I finally decided to start reading them.  Yes, I put EVERYTHING off until I'm good and damned well ready.  I had other comics that I was reading as I'm trying to get into comics for the first time ever (You'd think this would be something that would have been up my alley for decades - but for some reason my comic collections consisted of Beavis and Butt-Head, Ren and Stimpy and a few Rock and Roll comics.  Sometimes I would pick up an X-Men if the cover looked cool.  I tried to get into the new superman stuff after they killed him off and he somehow multiplied into like 6 people. But I never stuck with it).

I read through the 1st 5 volumes pretty quickly and was dying to read more.  I had a debate on whether I was going to keep buying them and reading along or if I was going to just finally watch the TV show and the TV show won out.  I am damned happy that I finally watched it.  It was fucking brilliant.
I really love how they use some of the comic but then veer off onto their own path with differing story lines and different characters.  Watching the show I really missed a couple of the characters in the books but after two episodes I really started to appreciate the new characters and the fact that I wouldn't know everything that was going to happen.

Now, I'm not an emotional guy when it comes to movies and TV shows and stuff. I've watched a whole bunch of chick-flicks in my time and whatnot and for the most part they never affected me.  However, in 6 episodes of The Walking Dead I had more emotional reaction to the hardships of these characters than I think I have had in the past decade of watching movies.  Three of the episodes had me a little teary eyed and the Season Finally had me shed one or two.  That was pretty damned weird if you ask me.  However - I cannot wait for season 2 to be released so I can run through it as well.
I'm probably going to have to get a DVR so that I can start following along with season 3 when it starts because I don't really want to wait another year+ in order to catch it.

Now, I really need to start reading through the other 70 comic book issues so that I can catch up on the story there.
Volume 5 ended amazingly well and Volume 6 is set up to be f'n amazing plot wise.
I will also be picking up the episodic releases of the Video Game that came out within the past month.  That is probably where I will take the story next before heading back to the Comic Books.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Guess Who Be Back

The good news is that I've got the computer up and working again.
The better news is that the last couple of days have been really great to me.

It started the other night when I took out a friend as it was her last night in town.  Plan was to hit up a local drinkery and consume mass quantities of adult beverages and just have a really good evening.  I picked her up around 7 and we headed out, my plan being that I would stumble home around 11 or so.

This friend worked with me when I ran the Game Crazy over on Decatur and Flamingo, she worked on the Hollywood side.  We were having another one of my co-workers at the time meet us over after a while for some good times. At this point I figure'd that we might as well just push it to the max and I sent a text (no one ever fucking calls any more) to another of our co-workers asking if he was working and if not, would he love to drink.
Around 10 he says was was working but just got off and asked if we'd be out for a while.  I have not seen this guy in a while so there is no reason to stop drinking now, I tell him the night is young and to get his ass over here.

It was this time that another friend got a hold of me and I invited her over as well.  There were like 95 of us (you know, if you get rid of the 9 and are only left with the 5) and good times were had by everyone.  I drank a good deal and finally stumbled home at about 2:30 having to wake up at 4:30 to start getting ready for work.

After work I took a power nap because I had plans for that evening as well.  I was meeting up with Jennifer Gay and taking her over to a local comedy show that plays every Friday night.  She, obviously, was in fear for her life and invited a poker dealer from the Bellagio to come along with us to make it a menage-a-tryst or whatever and the evening proceeded.
Sensing that I might be unstable she did make a Facebook post informing all of her friends that she was heading out with someone she never met and if she were to end up missing or dismembered that they were all to write nasty things on my timeline.  That's forward thinking on her part.

A little bit before I drove over to pick her up (You know, because she doesn't have a deathly fear that strange guys are going to driver her to the middle of nowhere, do nasty things to her, maybe hack some limbs off and then leave her for dead) I had my mom tell me that the old man thought I might be taking out the chick from Dirty Dancing.  I had to inform them that sadly I was not talking out Jennifer Gray!

On the way to pick up our third wheel (Joking - Not going to use names but he was a pretty cool guy as well. Gave me some advice on breaking into dealing - drugs and poker) we talked a bit about dealing, Vegas, Shitty cars, gambling addictions a paranoid local "celeb" and of course meeting strangers.
She asked me if I was nervous and I told her that to a degree I was, and am pretty much every time I meet a fellow blogger.

The way I sum this nervousness up is this - when I come over here and post my rants and whatnot I am protected by the anonymity of the internet.  I feel that my general persona does come across well and if you were to go through and read everything that I write and then hang out with me for a month you'd notice that it's pretty much the same guy.  However, you never know what the other person is going to be like.  My thing is I like to be rude and offensive.  When I am meeting someone new I try to tone that down a bit because I'd hate to have a build up leading to the evening and then have the person be all like (be all like? really?  idiot) "I kinda thought those jokes were just something you said online - I didn't realize this would be your outward persona as well."   I guess I'm just more reserved which is why EVERYONE says that I'm a really nice guy and not grrouchie at all :)
Meeting someone new who you have chatted with online but not actually seen and interacted with in person is a lot like going on a 1st date. It's a bit awkward at first!

The Comedy show was pretty good.  Most of the comedians had at least a few funny spots and I felt 3 of them really knocked it out well.

AK, Scott Von Wald, and Dat Dude Donnie.

If you live in Vegas and love comedy - check out some local shows with these talented people.  Choices Pub on Rainbow and Cheyenne is only $5 bucks to get in for 3 hours of comedy every Friday night and I have had a great time every time I go.

I'm just kind of all over the place because I've missed my keyboard these last few days. I am almost as happy to have it back as I was to be able to roll down my driver side window after 6 months!!!

And finally - I touched on it in the middle but didn't do enough justice to it.
Jennifer Gay is a really cool chick and I really hope I get a chance to hang out with her a couple more times before she disappears.  We talked about a ton of different subjects and she gave me some good advice on what I should do in order to become a poker dealer.  However, the biggest issue was that Step 1 basically is "Make friends with some good dealers."

And that my friends is the end of my typing.
I will be more focused next time.
I just looked up and briefly looked at what I wrote.
I hate this post and want to delete it and try again.
Instead, I'm going to try and install Diablo 3.
Stay Thirsty my friends.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Computer died

Thus will be short because I hate typing on my phone.
Computer refuses to start up, something wrong with one of the files. Now I'm trying to back up important info so I can perform a full system recovery.
Not really happy about this as it's going to create some issues, but as long as I get it running again everything else will sort itself out.
Right now the recovery program is gathering data to back up. It will be nice to start with a clean computer again. Diablo 3 is waiting.
Last night I drank much booze with some old friends. It was like an impromptu Game Crazy gathering and it was a blast.
I miss those crazy fuckers. 
I am hoping the rest of the weekend goes just as well but maybe with a bit less booze. I'm nit sure my old self is capable of too many of those long drinking nights anymore.
Stay thirsty my friends.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Booze blondes and boobs

A friend in town this week and tonight is her last night, so instead of blowing her off for her whole trip to Vegas I'll be hanging out and reliving the good times (you know, like two months ago).
I've also got another buddy coming along so it's going to be a threesome of disaster.  Or a Dastardly meanage-o-jaeger.

I'm quite looking forward to it because I don't believe that I have punished my liver enough over my lifetime - shit, I didn't start drinking until I was almost 22 after all.

The only minor draw back is that this whole 6 am shift at work tomorrow morning is not looking very appealing.  I'm 97% positive that by the time I get home from work tomorrow I'll be taking a nap before starting my weekend.

Speaking of which - my weekend plans are not 100% set yet either. I've got some feelers floating out there (unfortunately none of them involve me doing any of the feeling) and I'm sure it's going to be a fun time no matter what.  I want to at least meet up with Rob while he is in town at the very least for burgers somewhere. That will be discussed more after payday though.  I need to look at my finances and see where I stand heading into the beginning of June.

If things go the way I'd like them to go then I'll hopefully be hitting up a poker session with him at his favorite locals joint and, only if the gods smile down upon us, maybe playing with his favorite female poker player Prudence as well.

Oh - I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener

so everyone could eat me.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Just some Pictures

First up is just a nice fun one.  How many of us haven't wanted to do something like this at one point in their life?  I know I sure as shit have but I've got this conscious that just eats at me.

I can be a real asshole but for the most part I'm too nice of a guy to do 98% of the shit that passes through my head.

This one is just fun - It's like the dysfunctional family portrait. I just wish one of them was captured saying something like "Ok guys, lets go to the mall and fuck with some old folks" or something along those lines.

How many of you, without help can name all of these off? I'm sure there are some, a few obscure ones in this that make me really really smile like the Critters on the bottom next to the Gremlin.  Man I loved Critters, it was so horrible.

I saw this pic and realized that I need to build something like this at some point in my life so I can display my dork collection proudly.

Maybe tomorrow I'll have some real content for you all - but work has sucked the big donkey one this whole week so I doubt it.

Social Butterfly this week

I'm just going to come out and say that I love my real estate agent.
When I was looking at buying the house she was so patient and showed house after house after house and always kept a great personality about her.  After getting the first rejection (from a bank who wouldn't sell to me at $7k more than the listed price) I took some time off and she kept sending me reminder emails that whenever I was ready, etc.
So, here we are over a year after the house was bought and she still keeps in touch and says hi once in a while and whenever I ask her some questions she is always quick with an answer.  The other day I got a hold of her about getting some paperwork that I currently need and yesterday after a couple of phone calls she worked the paperwork up for me and emailed it to save me from having to go running around town and getting what I needed that way.

So, Boo-Ya for my agent.  I hope I get friends looking for places to live so that I can recommend her!

Last night I watched:

Even though this is not my type of movie (blah, emotions, argh) it still wasn't too bad.  The best part of this movie is obviously that Whitney used to have a voice of gold before she got involved with Bobby Brown and they decided to drug away both of their futures (Remember, was a prominent recording artist at one point as well.  Ghostbusters 2 theme anyone? heh).  
Even though I thought I had seen it before I didn't remember any of it, so I guess I'm now resorting to watching chick flicks from the 90's that I have never seen.  Oh, I sure hope Waiting to Exhale is next!!!!!

After work I also hit up a Blockbuster that is closing but I was pretty much a day or two late on that adventure.  When I got there there were probably only about 10 video games left and the only one I wanted was Space Marine but I just didn't feel like shelling out the $10 bucks for it.  Instead I picked through a bunch of movies and walked away with.

Weeds Season 2 and 3 on Blue Ray for $4.99 each.
Some Watchman cartoon, Nine and Wall Street (all on Blue Ray).

I went through a lot of the "no case" DVD's where were 50 cents each and ended up not getting any of them because 1) - they are DVD's and I'm becoming a Blue Ray snob 2)scratches and 3) pretty much every TV Season that I had found was missing one of the discs.
Case in Point - Soprano's Season 2 I could not find Disc 1.  Same with Rome, Carnivale and Deadwood.  I really wanted Deadwood but it was missing a disc and conversely I found like 4 Disc 2's but that didn't help me.
They had a lot of other Season's boxed up for about $5 each but I didn't want the DVD versions or I just told myself that the ones I was going to buy are available on Netflix and I could just start that service up (Or Amazon Prime) again instead of buying this old junky DVD format.
As I was checking out there was a Mexican family in front dominating one of the registers.  I feel bad for the guy who had to check them out as they probably brought close to 400-500 videos up to the register and had him open every one so that they could inspect the disc and see if they wanted to buy or not.  Good for them I guess but I felt it was a bit assholiness on their part because they were rejecting about 1/3rd of them and they also were grabbing like 5 of one movie and bringing them up just to find the best disc which meant that no one else in the store could even look at those discs until the family was done because they grabbed every copy.  Whatever, it was DVD and not much concern for me.

Tonight I've got a friend in town visiting and I think her and I will be getting a bit of booze in us and then on Friday I do believe that I'm taking Jennifer Gay out for some cocktails.
Jennifer - if you read this how about a local comedy show as well? It's cheap ($5) and enjoyable and the waitress asks for drinks fairly often.
If you don't read this how about I just suggest it via text?

That be all because it's time to have someone beam me to work for another day of playing catch-up!

Monday, May 14, 2012


It's like 10 thousands forks when all you need is a bike.
I never understood that crazy bitch.

By this point most everyone I deal with on any type of a regular basis knows that I quit the casino job for various reasons, one being my mental well being.  Every time I had to talk about it I felt like shit and way too late I realized I should have just made up some cue cards or something and handed them to people when they started asking questions.

This evening I was doing something - playing on Facebook or reading Volume 1 of The Walking Dead - and received a call from a buddy who was going to his second Craps Audition tonight.  He outright nailed his first and the floor person kept him on the game for almost a full shift.  However, he had one big stumble right at the end which was really him just over thinking something.  Minutes after the fact he could ramble off every bloody thing he did wrong and what every payment was supposed to be on that last roll.  He knew he blew it and it bugged the shit out of him.

Tonight he gives me the call a few hours before his audition just to solidify some stuff in his mind.  There was one particular bet that he just wasn't wrapping his mind around this evening and he wanted to hash it out with me.  After about 15-20 minutes I felt very confident that he had it down and was just nervous and over thinking things because he didn't want to fail a second audition.  I have 100% confidence that he will call me either tonight or tomorrow to tell me that he nailed it and was offered the job on the spot.

I'm looking forward to that conversation, I really am.

I finally decided to start reading The Walking Dead comics and I'm really loving them.  I bought them right before Season Two started to air as they were finally released digitally and Comixology was running a sale.  Having never watched any of the show I decided I wanted to read a bunch of the comics before doing that.  This way I could have the original and then follow along with the show as well.
After the first volume I'm happy to say that I'm enjoying the shit out of them.  The all black-n-white at first felt cheap to me but now I'm good with it.  The story has been good and very character driven instead of action driven and that's nice and refreshing.  The more I read the more I want to keep reading.  At the end of each book I want to just dive into the next.  Within the next week or so I'm going to sit down with Season 1 on Blue Ray and burn through that as well.

I need to buy some new beer because all the stuff I have went out of date around December.  Sure, it hasn't gone bad yet but it doesn't have that same great taste that I'm used to.
I also need to go over to my buddies house and get my bottle of Jaeger out of his freezer and put it in my belly!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mother Fer Day

This pretty much sums it all up!

So it's one of those BS made up holidays invented by greeting card people in order to spread love and joy and hopefully to not forget about the lady who had to go through 24 hours of labor and push your basketball sized head through her vaginal opening and if you're lucky your old man was watching and it ruined a lot of the enjoyment that he gets out of said opening.

Yes, this is a day when we say "I know it's not your birthday but I'd really love to thank you for being around and cleaning up vomit when I snuck home late during my teenage years.  I really didn't appreciate the way you played the loud music and banged on the pots and pans and talked louder than you had to but you at least let me sleep and punished me after I woke up."

Yes, today is a day when everyone across the world (you know, except the Mexicans who decided to beat us to the punch and celebrate a few days earlier just to show us they love their mothers more than we do - Fuck you Mexicans!!! Seriously) gets to universally show their mother that she is the tits and still appreciated after all these years.

There are so many things I wanted to do this Sunday but I decided that the best course of action was to buy a gift card, give a hug and stay home and play video games while my mom is in the other room watching bad reality TV and making me dinner just to show her that I still love her.  Nothing says love like allowing her to not deviate from the normal routine? amirite?

So I've developed a routine on this day that I'd like to share with you and I feel that this has kept me under the radar for many moons and probably will continue to work for many more (depending on who reads this I guess).

I start my day with my mother.  Hanging out and being a good son.
From there I move on to a significant other lady in my life who happens to be a mother and show her that I'm capable of being not-so-jerkish by trying to make her day go well when her kid has probably forgotten about it and f'd it up and didn't make her feel cherished or whatever.
And finally I try to spend the evening with another lady whom I would not have any qualms turning into a future mother if I'm good enough to play my cards right and provide just enough alcohol to lower her inhibitions.

Then again, that is the circle of motherhood and I learned that shit by watching the Lion King (I think).

So - to my mom - I Fucking Love you lady.  You are the sole reason I am still alive today and that is no joke.  My life is worth living because of you and if it were not for you I'd be somewhere in the backwoods of Pennsylvania with 3 kids of my own and miserable about life.  I'd hate my bastard kids and probably suspect that at least 2 of the 3 were not even mine.  I'd hate my wife and tell her to go fuck herself today instead of greeting her with a hug, a smile and a "lets just have a quickie this morning to celebrate, then you can make me some bacon and pancakes babe."  I'd be contemplating just packing up a few changes of clothes and moving to Vegas to start my life over.
Instead, you are in my life and I already live in Vegas.  However, I never had to abandon a loveless marriage and change my name to try and avoid paying child support and I will be forever grateful and indebted to you for how that scenario turned out!

Now, I leave you all with some Mothers Day Pictures that I have found and feel like they need to be passed on to help celebrate this great day.

Mothers Need Love Too

After putting up with your shit she deserves a drink

This is most likely how I would end my evening - Only 1 Roofie next time

Don't listen to what she says, listen to what she means

A face only a mother could love

Perfect for Rob

I saw this and you know who was the first person to come to mind!

I hear a line is forming Rob and Jennifer Tilly is right behind Jamie Lee Curtis at the front!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Little Bit of This and That

I'm going to start with a graph that struck me odd.
I was looking over recent blog statistics, saw this and had to wonder WTF would have caused such a random spike.

The only other amusing thing that I saw while looking through my dashboard was that I had two searches that reached my website which intrigued me.  Well, one search but done two times.
Glass Splashed Ass.  I think that is awesome and am thus tagging it in this post!

While getting finger printed at the casino the other day to activate my bio-metrics I was told that it would probably be advisable if I were to never commit a crime.  After pausing for a second and then using the phrase "oh, do tell" I was informed that I have really great finger prints. When I asked her what she meant she told me that they were very clear and easily identifiable.  I let her know my other job gives me access to good acid and thanked her for the information.

Yesterday I received the first good news from my whole car situation.  My insurance company got back in touch with me and told me that they would be reimbursing me for $xx.xx amount of what I had to put on my credit card (after deductible of course).  That lets me breathe a sigh of relief.  They will be sending the company a letter asking to get their money back and I've got a few other things I am working on in order to try to get them to cough up the difference that is owed.  So, I'm hoping to continue the positive news rolling on that front.

I now find myself awake and with the rest of the weekend off.  I have one mothers day present bought and one to go.  The 2nd one is much harder than the 1st was because the 1st was handed to me on a sliver platter by a friend saying "I've been wanting to buy xxx however I have been unable to find it anywhere I go."  Thanks imaginary friend #1.   So, now it's down to the other one and I sit here mostly clueless as to what I should get.

Which brings me to next month which is, of course.... a 3 pay month.  Sweet baby-jesus (pronounced Hey Suess) dipped in chocolate I love 3 pay months!  Also I guess Fathers day AND Birthday.
So, funny shit is he reads this blog and will now know that for the past 3 months I have had his present hidden away in my closet just waiting for the day/month to roll around.  Boo-Ya!

And now I'm going to find grub.  My belly rumbles and must be fed immediately.