Saturday, June 30, 2012

Lincoln Lincoln I've Been Thinkin

The nice thing about the drive in, other than saving ridiculous amounts of money on seeing movies is that generally it's a two-fer.  After Abe Lincoln was done slaying vampires and protecting all of mankind from the menace I got to watch Prometheus.
I've been wanting to see both of those movies so I was quite happy about this double feature.  However, the movie to my right (a 6 screen drive-in) was playing Magic Mike so I got to see a whole bunch of scantly clad male dancing out of the corner of my eye and that might have scarred me for countless years to come.  However, it will probably take therapy to understand the full effect that it has had on me.
The screen to my left was playing some shitty Madea movie or something - you know, that creepy black guy who dresses like his mother all the time... yeah... Steven Tyler Joe Perry .... That guy... whatever... My movies were cool and surrounded by turds.

Being that I have not watched any of the Aliens movies in a few years I now have an urge to sit through them and see exactly how Prometheus fits into everything.  The good part is that it is a prequel so I can just jump into Alien and truck on with no problems.

Up next is this beauty of a box set

And once I'm done with the 4 Alien movies I'll jump right into my beloved Alien vs Predator.
I've got a 5 day stretch where I am off from work so I think I'll take that time to run through the 4 originals before diving into the AvPs.

Because of the 2nd movie coming on and not getting home until 2 am I never got a chance to go out and play poker last night, however I will make up for that tonight as I harass my local crappy home game.  Last time I went there I fared horrible as it appeared everyone (well, just one person) had fun hitting sets against my monsters.  Top Pair NFD vs a set.  KK vs a Set in a RR'd pot where I got 80% of my money in Pre.  This time I will run better and my goal is to bust someone with a spectacularly crappy hand.

Sunday is going to be my day of rest. I will rest my fat ass on the floor of my bedroom with a video game controller in my hands at all time and my cooler filled with essentials like Diet Mt Dew so that I can just chill and play games the whole bloody day and not have to think.
I do have to meet up with Michael at some point for lunch or a bit later in the evening depending on his schedule and availability and I have to meet up with "My name is NOT The Ex" Carmel for awkward conversation and mortgage exchange.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Tonight Tonight Tonight

Sometimes the great Phil Collins needs to be quoted.

Tonight I'm heading out to see ole Honest Abe slay some Vampires.
Honestly, this is one of those movies that I kinda wanted to see from the first moment I saw the poster. When I found out that there was a book (or books) I had seriously considered getting them for my Kindle Fire and reading through them but I got lazy and that never materialized.
However, if I like the movie then I will most likely follow that course of action.

On Sunday I will most likely be meeting up with a reader of mine (and probably yours) named Michael. I have no blog or twitter feed to link to so the name gets to sit there, mysterious and plain. What I do know about him is that he hails from Canadia and is in town until Sunday night.  So, if after Sunday you all never hear from me again - Blame Canada.

My right eye has been bugging me all day long and I'm blaming this on the cats. As the day has gone on it has gotten a bit better but it feels all red and itchy.

The good news is that I won't have to enter that house for a while as my portion of the grrouchie day care system is over and it has been passed on to others more qualified.

Maybe I can find a big juicy game like this one and show my poker face a time or two.

Tomorrow will be an all day adventure as for the first time since moving to Vegas I'm going to a Farmer's Market.
I haven't been to one in over 6 years so I'm interested to see what kind of goodies I'll be able to come up with.

And after that I'll be heading to a home poker game with a friend from work.  Going to be a fun weekend.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Another Day Wasted

Today after work I had to drive to a friends house to feed and water their cats since they are out of town and I'm too nice to say "no, I fucking hate cats and my allergies will hate me."
They have 4 cats and I guess it's not really the putting food in the dish part that I mind so much but more scooping the recycled food out of the box that bothers me.
In total I spend about 10 minutes in their house from start to finish and by the time that 10 minutes is up my allergies are already kicking in and my body is deteriorating.  
It's disturbing just how allergic I am to cats and I hate every minute of it.
Oh well, such is life.  Move on and shut up already.

I think the hell that I put my system through for the 10 minutes I spend in that house is also cause for my complete lack of motivation to do anything over the last few days as well.  Today after getting home I took a nap and from the time I woke up from that nap the only thing I want to do is go back to sleep.
I just wanted to sleep for 12 hours straight to avoid having to do anything during the evening.  I have essentially put off doing anything, but unfortunately I've had to be awake for most of it.  No TV, no movies, no video games.  I have a complete and utter lack of any desire to do anything.

So, with that I'm going to allow this desire to win by no longer typing this evening.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012


Completely random here, but I stumbled upon the fact that before I posted this particular blog post I have had exactly 2400 comments posted to this blog.
So, Congrats to all of you who contributed to that magical number.

Also, talking to a friend tonight this came up in conversation.
Take the phrase "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."
I have never read that phrase in it's original context but I'm pretty sure not one person has ever mentioned any fine print surrounding it.
You see, I remember my past and yet I still rehash the same mistakes over and over and over.
"Those who remember the past but don't heed it's warnings will suffer the wrath of Kahn"
KKKKKAAAAHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN  (I originally had 3 K's there but went back and edited a couple more in so that no one would think I'm a racist.)

This picture sucks, the quality is horrible but I am unable to go back and take another.
You see - my company delivered a Fridge to a customer who refused it because it was "damaged."
We sent him another fridge and brought the "damaged" one back.  Let me interpret the information that is printed on the slip that is ever so blurry to the right.

[x] Damaged: Light doesn't shut off when door's closed.

Yes, you and I both read that correctly (and probably more than once).  This customer refused to accept his fridge because when he shuts the doors on the fridge, the light on the inside stays on.
I don't need to add my commentary to this.  You can all ponder that one yourself.

Today I indeed dun did get my smog done for my car. I also got the registration thing done as well.  This took one of my two bank accounts to practically zero.  Good thing Friday is a pay day.

Two is a Crowd

Oh holy mother of mercy, today I finally received a bit of help in the office.  For the first time in 3 months, and wouldn't you know it - it was a horribly slow day.
I was swamped like crazy on Monday and Tuesday but the last couple of days not a whole lot was sold and thus the workload died down.  This was kind of a good thing as it allowed me to go over a few things with the new chick, but it was bad because showing someone something once and then saying "we'll just have to wait a few days and go over that concept again" is lame.

Either way, I'm happy to have someone in there with me currently.  I got to go over a few things and we got to chat about the way the store works and the differences between this one and the store she came from.

Chatted with the Store Manager about putting a 3rd computer in the office since there will be three of us stuck working there and she said that probably won't happen as one of us is going to be spending a lot of time on the sales floor.  She didn't say who as she said she still has to figure that stuff out.  However, I'm being told that there will be a big Pow-Wow when all 3 of us are working to figure everything out from scheduling to who is doing what and to who gets to stick their dick in the glory hole.

I think I'm going to volunteer to be the store trainer in an attempt to continue to get on the good side of the management team and make my push towards the promotion that will be posted within the next month or so. I do know if I do not get the promotion I will be looking for a quick exit from the office as with the amount of work I have to do and have done this past 3 months I am horribly underpaid.

My hours this week are through the roof.  Monday I stayed an extra 30 minutes because I was working on some issues. Tuesday I stayed an extra hour because they wanted me in the Manager's meeting.  Today was another 30-40 minutes because of issues that came up at the last minute.  It's funny how dealing with others laziness tends to extend my time during the week.  As it stands now I'm looking at a bloody short Friday.  Normally Friday is my short day with 7 work hours instead of 8.  I am already over by 2+ hours and my workday has dropped to 5 hours now putting me at an exit time of 11 am for an almost extended weekend.

Today I was told that my mini vacation was approved and put into the computer so the week of the 9th is going to consist of me not going to work until Thursday and loving every minute.  Thinking about shutting my phone off so no one can call me bitching about anything.

I cannot wait for June to be over.

Needa Smog Check

It's that time of year again.
It's been that time all month but yet I have not managed to find the motivation to do it.
I need to run my car to a smog check so that they can perform 10 minutes of "work" to give me a piece of paper telling me that it's cool for me to pay the government money to send me a sticker to place on my license plate.  I'm cool with the smog check but I think the registration fees every bloody year are a bit much. I preferred the system in PA where you had to get your car inspected every year to make sure that many different components were working properly and not just the smog.  In fact, I could drive out here with faulty breaks, bad headlights, a missing door and a multitude of other problems but as long as my car passes the smog check no one gives a flying fun.  I guess in the end it's all just a money racket.

Looking at the mail that I received nearly a month ago I notice the phrase:
Expires: 06-28-12
Maybe I've put off going long enough.  My goal will be to remember to do this after work today so that I can at least have the piece of paper in my glove box telling me all is good in case someone decides to pull me over.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012


I believe it was my first hear of college and I'm kinda sorta dating this chick for a month or two.  We see each other once in a while, go to dinner, hang out, whatever.  Nothing serious ya'know.
So we plan a decent dinner to meet up and talk and this leads to my favorite line in history.

After dinner we are making small talk when she looks up from her coffee and says "My therapist says it would be unhealthy if I were to continue seeing you."

I will never forget this line and to this day it still makes me smile.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Lightning is a Dirty Tease

The other night at the AVP gathering I had the pleasure of running into Lightning who I have played with before at Bally's before we ever knew each other existed in an online sort of blogging fashion.  While he has slimmed down since the last time I saw him and started growing a ridiculous mustache it was generally a nice meeting until he decided to be a tease.
He told me that he has a grrouchie story and made it appear as though it was something outrageous and would not share it with me. He said it would probably take a few beers in him to let the cat out of the bag or whatever.  He then went off and drank with the ex and still did not share.

So, my curiosity is gotten because I'm a man of very very very few secrets and pretty much everything in my life I'm willing to freely admit to.
So, here is a list of some shit that has happened to me or that I have done that might be considered embarrassing to some or maybe just topics that most wouldn't bother to talk about outside of their priest or their prostitute (tit for tat).

I would appreciate everyone to encourage Lightning to share his grrouchie tale as I love when people tell a good story about me!

1 - I met Lindy99 at the AVP meeting and he confided in me that he absolutely loved my "Do your feet smell" joke (this, as Rob would say is a vagina mentioning).
2 - I was born a skinny white child with a small penis - Only my waist line has grown.
3 - A small black dog once bit the head of my penis and lived to bark about it.
4 - For about 8-10 years I wore skirts and fishnets on a regular basis.5 - I went to my senior prom in a dress.
5.1 -  My mom stuffed my bra, my hair was done up in a french twist with baby's breath and my combat boots were killer.
5.2 - My date was one of my best friends (a guy).
6 - I first got laid when I was 15 - my 3rd time when I was 22.
7 - I have been snowballed, I am quite salty.
8 - I was involved in a Devil's 4-some. (kinda sorta).
9 - I've been jerked off by a stripper
10 - I once told a young kid that his mom was dead and not coming home (I was probably 7 at the time, he was 4-5).
11 - I've visited a AMP
12 - I (twice) rubbed my breasts on my college roommates head in a public setting when he was not expecting it.
13 - My 1st roommate and her boyfriend often had very loud sex, while I was trying to sleep in the same room.  I once got up and made popcorn in the middle of their session - they did not stop.
14 - I smoked pot twice, I got very paranoid and drank 2 gallons of Kool-Aid
15 - A friend on FaceBook said he needed some titties to cheer him up, I obliged.

15 is good enough for now - How can you top a breast shot?

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Weight Loss Day 14 and Poker Bloggers

Day 14 and I've been kind of dreading it for the past few days.  Ever since the AC got fixed I've been eating more (weird eh?) and haven't been nearly as strict as I have wanted to be with myself.  I've also somehow managed to not actually track my food through my Weight Watchers app for the past 3 days starting with a day that I knew was going to be bad.

On Thursday one of my best friends from work was leaving and came in to say Hasta La Pasta to me so I took her out to a lunch of her choosing, Famous Dave's.  This ended up being a good choice for two reasons.  1st reason is because I stuck to a lunch sized portion of my order and didn't finish it all.  2nd reason is because they messed up her order and instead of getting pineapple wings they brought her Wilbur's Revenge (which if you don't know is the hottest wing they offer).
Wilbur's Revenge kicked her ass hardcore as she took an innocent, large, bite out of a wing and then proceeded to be in pain with tears in her eyes for at least 10 minutes.  As a result of this mishap though she got her portion of the meal comped and my bill was significantly less.
After an hour of good conversation and good byes we took off.  I pad the bill and still tipped as though the meal was full price.

Yesterday was an AVP meet and greet plus a good tournament. Being the only night that I'll probably make it out to hang out with all the visiting bloggers it ended up being a good one.  I briefly got to meet Josie, I got to officially meet Lightning36DD (whom I have met before while playing at Bally's but before we were all bff blogger buddies and the such), got to catch up with Rob and Stump (who has a great Houston Texans Tat) a bit again and had Lindy99 introduce himself to me as well.

It's one thing to meet people who I have planned to run into, it's totally different to meet someone whom you have no idea actually reads my ramblings and asks a few questions about things that I have posted in the past. It's definitely a pretty cool feeling and it's interesting to hear people talk about how they started with such and such blog and moved to xyz and then eventually stumbled onto me.  Either way I appreciate it and had a good time talking to all.  Personally I prefer to catch up at a cash game instead of a tournament so maybe I'll try to make it out one more time before everyone heads home and I miss the opportunity.

Tonight is the meetup of the TBC cult of "stop fucking playing VBJ you idiot."  At the last minute The Poker Barrister bought Tony a ticket so that he could actually make his own gathering instead of rotting away in the hell that is Atlantic City and bitching about not having enough money to live.  I'd like to meet up with him but it will have to be somewhere other than the gathering as I have decided not to attend.

My train appears to have left it's track so lets pull that sucker back to where it belongs.  I Diverged from my initial thought process.  I meant to talk about AVP meeting because I knew it was going to be a "bad" day of sorts for my eating.
I knew that I was going to be meeting up with Carmel to talk about the house as I'm trying to hold to my promise of not posting all the information here for the world to see before talking to her about things.  We ended up meeting at Bachi Burger which I've wanted to try for a while now but just never got around to it.
I had a Bahn Mi burger which was the sole reason I wanted to go there when I first learned of the place and let me tell you ---- well, I'll just say that I doubt I'll ever got back there on my own accord.
The Burger was not bad, it was not great.  It had some weird pork pattay on it that was just bloody awful and disgusting. I almost had to spit out my bite of food.  I removed the rest of that and finished the burger.
Bahn Mi is a great French/Vietnamese sandwich which involves lots of fresh veggies and a great taste.  So, when I heard the combination of Bahn Mi and Burger I was like BONER!  Not so much.  I'll stick to my other place for now but I did try something new.
Then at the AVP meet-up it was going to be free pizza - Pizza is generally a lot of points per piece so I only had a few and stuck to smaller pieces.  I tried my best to stick to my diet on a day when I was not going to eat at home nor pack my lunch but I was prepared for the worst.

Today I woke up and assumed the position.  270.4.  BAM! Sweet.  Progress.  I was expecting a bit more than that so I am elated to read the numbers.  This means that I lost another 2.6 pounds this week and am down over 10 pounds since I started tracking my Weight Watchers points.  By the time day 21 rolls around I will officially be under 270 for the 1st time in quite a long time.
And this reminds me....
While at the AVP catch-a-snatch I ran into @KBBT (I think - this is off the top of my head) who is from Germany but spends a lot of time traveling the states playing poker and traveling the world for that matter.  I have not seen him in probably 4-6 months so we spent some time talking and catching up and he asked if I had lost some weight.
Talk about the ultimate awesome right there.  The proof is in the pudding if someone else notices and I know that this will help to keep my motivation up.
I am ready for whatever challenges that this week brings me.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

No Motivation for Nuttin

It's weird, I take a week off of blogging (basically) and now I find myself with not much to say.

However, here I sit with nothing else to do so lets get to it.

We will start with work where I'll actually have someone else helping me out come Monday.  Er, to rephrase that a bit I'll start training someone to help me out come Monday.  The past two days at work have been pretty hellish on the getting caught up aspect.  My plan was to get everything done for the week so that I could start next week fresh.  No outstanding paperwork or issues or anything to deal with.  Come in Monday morning and make a game plan as to what I'm going to do with the new girl (Oh I hope she's a looker) and how I'm going to do it.  However, as usual, that backfired.  I never even got close to getting half of what I wanted done.
Then at one point during the day yesterday the Store Manager asks me if I have everything in the office caught up and in order.  I state that I should be closer by the end of my shift.  She tells me (again) that the new girl starts Monday and she wants everything to be in order by then.  Asks me if I need any help.
The shift before the new girl starts is the 1st time in 3 months that I actually got asked if I need any help?
WTF?   So, if I were to answer the question now I'd have to say that I'm not even close but we'll improvise.

I've got a bit of an idea about how I'm going to break her into the office, but we'll see how that goes.

As far as Weight Loss - today is Day 13 or something and tomorrow is the end of week number two.  I'm still down from where I was last Sunday which is great, but a few things took away some momentum and in all honesty I'll be perfectly happy as long as I have not gained since the last weigh-in.  Just means I'm going to have to work extra hard this next week to make sure that I get to the goal I want by the end of week 3.

Last night I saw Brave and I really enjoyed it.  It's not my favorite Pixar movie but it was still better than the chaff that non-Pixar Disney has put out over the last decade.  The preview for Monster University really got me excited as I've been waiting for another Monsters movie to come out for quite some time.  There was also a preview for a Transylvania cartoon with the lead voiced by Adam Sandler that piqued my interest a bit.

The WSOP is in town and I've barely played any games - I'm feeling a bit bad about this.  This is prime money making time and instead of doing weird shit like hanging out with friends instead.  My priorities are all messed up and I'm in need of a realignment.  
I know that in order to play in the AVP event tonight I need to hit up The Mirage to register before noon or so today.  I have been putting it off for a week now. I've had time to swing by and do it but the mood has yet to strike me.  I don't know if I just don't feel like parting with the money or if everything else that has been going on has just drained my will to actually play poker.
However, tonight is the night to do it as I'll be able to pal around with Rob, Lightning, Josie and a host of others.  Somebody slap some sense into me please?

Friday, June 22, 2012

Not Dead ..... yet

If anyone has been wondering I am still alive.

I might be alive but I am currently on life support.

Live continues to shovel the shit in my general direction and it's piling up hire than I'd care to deal with at this current point in time.
Therefor, because all I would be doing is bitching and complaining every single day about something I have decided that I don't feel like writing anything instead.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

No Sin Greater

No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater... than central air

Don't think I woke up once the whole night through except to slap a blanket over my fat naked pimply 7 haired ass because the dog had completely taken the other one for himself.

Maybe at this point I can move on and get with the gettin' if ya know wha' I'm sayin'

Rob is in town, Lightning will be crashing soon followed by his online stalker Josie.
I've heard there is going to be an orgy but that we aren't to talk about it.

This weekend is an AVP tourney and a "Friends of Tony" tourney.  Thinking I'm hitting up AVP but haven't decided on the latter yet.

Just looking forward to getting out and meeting some newish (rhymes with Jewish) people and having a fucking blast after the past 12 days of hell.

Yesterday I pretty much didn't exist, so if'n I didn't answer a call or a text or whatever - ooopsie.  I faded back into existence today and as such I'll be around for brief periods of time to converse.

Monday, June 18, 2012

The Curse of the Bald grrouch

I'm starting to feel the effects of not sleeping, more so than normal.

Today I approached my locker at work, took out my keys, and tried to open it by using the clicker for my car.  I stood there slightly confused when the lock didn't pop until I realized I had to insert a key.

I feel there is a curse upon my head.  I don't think it's possible for so much shit to constantly go wrong in one life for this to be a common thing that others go through.
AC guys came out to fix the conditioner again today.
Sunday they replaced the motherboard (which blew) and compressor (which burnt out).
Within 20 minutes of them fixing the machine and leaving the new compressor burnt up again and decided to stop producing friendly fresh air.
Guys just got off my roof pronouncing it dead after spending 3 hours trying to fix it to no avail.

Tomorrow morning it begins again.  Buying a new compressor from the warehouse and seeing if it's possible for me to strike out 3 times on one issue.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Father's Day

Weight Loss Update today over Yonder

You know, Mom always gets screwed because her birthday is the day before Xmas and the old man get screwed because his birthday is less than 2 weeks after fathers day.  That pretty much balances out enough that I'm ok with it as long as I'm not getting screwed :) (Joking).

Anyway, Happy Fathers Day old man.  I love you dearly and I'm glad you are in my life even though you're frustrating and I almost sense a virtual countdown to diaper changing :-p

This is what I got the old man for Father's Day.
100% hand crafted and been sitting in my closet for at least 4 months.

And this one was just too funny to not share.
Happy Fathers Day to those who are 100% sure you're not the father!

Weight Loss Day 7

The end of my first week has hit and the results are in and good.
I'm down to 273 from 277 last Sunday, a 4 pound loss and nearly 10 pounds since I signed up for Weight Watchers maybe 10 days ago.

I cannot give myself all the praise in this as there were a couple of days that I didn't even track because I was too busy being angry and vile towards my apartment complex and all of that sitting and roasting in the heat didn't do any good for me other than remind me not to eat because it's too bloody hot to put food in the system.  The real challenge over the course of this next week is going to be losing a couple more pounds or at the very least maintaining my current weight once the A/C is fixed and I'm not more focused on my impending doom.  I will end up eating dinner more consistently.

So, Baby Step 1 is out of the way and I have dropped below 275.  My next mini-goal is to get below 270 which I think I've only really seen once since moving to Las Vegas and that was over three years ago when I was hitting the gym every day for 3 months straight.

I've been scouring the internet lately looking for good low point recipes that actually look good and tasty and would be easy to make in a pinch.  Of course I get turned off pretty easy when I see prep times or cook times that go over 15 minutes lol.  I'm a "oh, I just decided I'm hungry right this instance and I really want to put food in my mouth right bloody hell now!!!"  That, obviously, has not worked well for me over the course of my 72 years on this planet. (There is a lie in that last sentence).

I like how the points gradually step down as you drop a few pounds even though I knew it would happen, I was curious at what rate they would drop.  Down nearly 10 pounds and the points have gone from 58 to 55 which is not too bad.  3 points is one of the cheese sticks that I eat on an almost daily basis so it's very easy to cut back a bit there.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Too Hot Too Handle

Posting this just for the sake of posting something per a request.

I Officially Hate Lantana Apartment Homes in Las Vegas Nevada


If you Google Searched Lantana Apartments and it led you here - skip down to complain number two and read all about it.  Do not ever live here willingly.  Stay far away.  Find a new place to go.  This place will eat your babies and still demand a rent payment.

This past week has been full of a whole lot of frustration and thus far I've been doing a good job of keeping the attitude off of my blog and leaving it in my head where it belongs, however that is all about to come to an end.

There have been two things this past week that have bugged me and both of them have at least one common component even though they are not actually related.

First, lets start with work.  We have this HVAC program where Trane will come out and put in a new unit for you.  This program uses local Trane dealers adjusting to our retail ways.  When we do an install there is a contract involved and at the end of the contract there is a Certificate of Completion that the Installer and the Customer are supposed to sign off on saying that the work was done satisfactory or whatever.  This COC then gets faxed back to me and I release payment.
In April we had a customer who got a new HVAC and Furnace (two contracts, two COC's) and I am still waiting to get my COC's back.  I have called at a minimum of 4 different people who work in the office of this company asking them to send my signed COC back because I can't pay them until they do.  I have also faxed over a copy of the contract numerous times with a note stating my stance as well.  So far, two months later, I have yet to get my information back.

Our corporate Install Manager knows that this is a problem and has tried to take steps to rectify it.  She sent out a mass email stating that "If you are having trouble getting the completed COC back from your local Trane rep then please send an email to Idiot#1 requesting this information."
So, I send an email to Idiot#1 stating my case and the information that I need and asking what I should do."
Idiot#1 sends me back another email address (and copied 3 other people in on the email) stating I need to contact that email address and give the information.
Idiot#2-4 (the copied people) Respond to me stating that I need to get in contact with my local Trane dealer to get this information as they are the ones who did the install and should have the paperwork.
The email address I was told to email also told me the exact same thing - Contact your local Trane Dealer.

So, after two months of trying to get two pieces of paper faxed to me to no avail I am told to contact someone else who can help expedite the matter and the best solution they can give me is to contact the inbreds that have been ignoring you for two months already?  What The Literal Fuck?
When I sent out my emails I began with "Hi, These ugly mf's apparently do not want their money from my company.  I have called 69 times and spoken to 3 different people who all tell me that they are too stupid to participate in meaningful discussion.  I have also faxed over document X at least once a week with a request to just have someone sign it - anyone - scribble on it and fax it back - and as of this moment not a single one of them appears to read English or is able to operate a fax machine" and that's the response I get.
I wish I could just blow them all off and stop making contact and wait for them to come bitching to me that they never got paid for the job but alas, I can't do that.

Situation number two - or Why I Hate Lantana Apartment Homes in Las Vegas Nevada

Today is day 9 with no A/C in my apartment.  It started simply enough with a bunch of retarded maintenance workers coming to my apartment and looking at an A/C unit trying to figure out what was wrong.
Day 1 consisted of a guy trying to adjust my thermostat believing that maybe we were too F'n stupid to operate it properly.  When that didn't work he went to the roof only to come down an hour later saying he'd check up on it tomorrow.

Day 2 I get a call asking if it's working - when I tell them "no" they send someone else out.  This person looks at it and determines that it needs a new motor and then leaves.

Day 3 was Sunday - No F'n help on the lords day as everyone else was sitting in their air conditioned apartments sipping on dos fucking ekki's (whatever) while I had to constantly wipe the sweat from underneath my man titties (a boob reference for Rob).

Day 4 consisted of someone coming out and telling my parents that there were just too many parts to be able to figure out what the hell is wrong with it - they were going to get a professional out later the same day.  When no one shows up I call and bitch and they send the same group of retards out who don't know what they are doing.

Day 5 I'm told it's a compressor issue and the part is on order - be here Weds or Thurs

Day 6 I'm told no fucking luck asshole - check back tomorrow

Day 7 I'm told I look familiar but they have no record of any (er, that's how it feels at least....).  This day they decide to FINALLY fake interest in our problem and let us borrow a portable A/C unit that is designed for at most a 500 square foot apartment in our 1300+ square foot unit that has not had a drop of f'n cool air in a f'n week.  The A/C Unit ran for 8-10 hours straight before it finally decided to give up on life and commit suicide  by making horrible loud knocking noises that made it impossible for anyone to sleep so we had to pull the plug.  10 hours of this piece of shit running maybe cooled the apartment down 2 degrees.

Day 8 I'm told the part didn't arrive yet but maybe during the afternoon delivery.

Day 8 afternoon - I check back and am told the part is in and the maintenance guys are on their way over as we speak.

Day 8 two hours later - I call to ask when these SOB's were going to arrive and am promptly told that they were already there and gone.  I say that's bloody impossible and I want to know when they will be here.  I am then told that everything they have to do is on the roof so maybe I didn't notice it, to check my A/C and see if it's working.
I politely respond that I have been in my apartment for the entire 2 hours, Not one person has showed up or knocked on my door to state that they were starting or finishing.  Not one person has actually showed up.  If they went to the roof - I would notice because I have heard them walking around every goddamned time thus far and on top of that I have a dog that goes batshit insane every time these idiots have been on my roof and he didn't make one bark.
Not only that but I have gone outside multiple times looking for them to see maybe they just got fucking lost on their way across the fucking parking lot.  And Finally if these ugly sperm burpers actually did show up and do the work do you not think that they would have wanted to collect our loaner piece of shit portable A/C unit?   I am then placed on hold for about 5-10 minutes.
The lady gets back on the phone and tells me that the head maintenance guy has gone home for the day and that they would be back out Saturday and if not then on Monday.
I politely ask if everyone there is a product of monkey rape because they appear to be under evolved. How is it even remotely acceptable to let a family sit in 90+ degree heat for 10 days and no known solution especially when I have stated multiple times that there are old ass people living here with medical conditions?  I am told that "this is why we let you use the portable A/C unit" to which I respond that their piece of shit attempt to help us out ONLY after I bitched multiple times every day for an entire fucking week was retarded and lame and explained how portable A/C units work and why this one never stood a chance.
I am told "well, we're trying, ya just gotta be patient a couple more days"

Warning: Possible Rant Coming - cover your children's ears

So Fuck you Lantana Apartment Homes in Las Vegas Nevada at zip code 89146
Fuck you and everyone who looks like you.
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
I hope you all get aids and your vagina's rot off and fall into the toilet.
If given the chance I would Rape your house, burn your daughters and kick your puppies. I would cut the cord to the oxygen tank your syphilitic mother is breathing from and I would personally superglue your dads dick to his own anus.
I am now politely crafting my "NO, I'm not going to renew my lease you goddamned idiots" letter which will be submitted by this coming Friday at the latest.
If there is a corporate contact number I am calling and bitching and I am writing a letter.
I am having Lorena Bobbit come over and pay a visit to all of your husbands.
I am having Tanya Harding play knee-cap hockey with every single one of you mother fuckers.
Then I am sending you all to Singapore and letting the world know that you littered so that you can be caned repeatedly and then, just maybe then, you will understand the fucking hell I have been through this week with No Goddamned A/C and not being able to sleep because it's 90 fucking degree's inside my apartment at midnight.

Go to hell you cocksuckers.
grrouch out

PostScript - I edited out multiple racial slurs and about twenty vulgarities in order to make this a bit more socially acceptable.  

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Weight Loss Day 4

If Anyone is really here to read the diary of a fat kid then feel free to skip down a few lines and dive right into that.  However I begin with this.
I ended up making a special appears over at an old friends website/blog today.  In between paying bills and fending off angry customers I was having an email conversation that led to my guest post.
I won't go into the details that led to this but it's a story that I forgot all about until today and I do love to share stories of my past - especially since I really have very few to tell that are worthwhile.
So, Please head over and check out that post as well.

Now, onto the Diary of a Fat Kid which is what I really wish I was titling these posts instead of that generic bs that is up there now :)

Dear Day 4,

I’m just writing to tell you that I’m not a big fan of you.  Days 1 - 3 were nice to me and helped me along my path but you sir are a dick.
What is with this unnatural craving for BBQ that you have presented me with? What is this temptation?  Why not a nice casual reminder that I can get a salad out of my favorite sub at Subway because it’s healthier, loaded with veggies and has a low point count?  No, there has been no mention of that from you at all.  Instead you have me sitting here drooling over the possibility of a slab of ribs smothered in BBQ sauce or a Famous Dave’s Devil Spit burger complete with extra Hellfire pickles and Jalapeno bacon dipped into an extra heaping of BBQ sauce.

Day 4, I’m not sure we can be friends any longer.  I’m going to figure a way through this day and I’m going to leave you for someone nicer and prettier tomorrow. I hope she’s your sister so that you feel some sort of resentment for treating me this way.

I did manage to survive the day and I do have some points left over no matter. I ended up going to Chipotle for lunch which is something I have not had in a long time. It's a bit heavy on the points side compared to other things that I could be eating but I did the math and I knew that I could fit it in and still have a room to spare for a good dinner. Dinner was also nice with two delicious turkey burgers each with a slice of Provolone/Mozzarella cheese (it's this weird hybrid animal tested cheese that's a combination of both - tastes delicious and melts pretty well too) and topped off with some white wine sauce. I'm actually pretty stuffed from dinner still even though it was a couple hours back.

Today I'm sitting in the break room eating my Chipotle when a co-worker comes in and sits down next to me (chick magnet - what can I say?) and casually says to me "So, day 4?"
And even though I didn't let on (at least i don't think i did) I had a huge smile on the inside that I've got at least one reader from work and that one remark alone is encouragement enough to keep this whole charade up.
Unofficially I've been doing this for over a week now and in that time I have dropped about 10 pounds.
Officially Sunday is my second weigh in and that leaves me with a conflict. If Sunday is weigh in day that means I can't use Saturday as "go bat-shit crazy and eat everything in site to use up those extra left over points" day. No, I'm going to need better planning because I don't want to have to have worked hard all week to meet my goals only to lose progress on Saturday night.

Friday's all right though, right? Well, Friday night is going to be filled with alcohol as I'm possibly attending a going away party for one of my favorite people at work. I'm sad to see her go (but I love to watch her leave.... *rim shot*) but I think she's going to have a blast living in Hawaii for the next few years. Then Sunday I'm going to see what I'm pre-chalking up to a poor man's Stomp - Recycled Percussion.
That last link leads to Vegas Linda Lou's blog where she talked about the show a bit already.
Maybe I'll buy ear plugs.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Playing Catch up with the Boob Tube

Since going to college I have basically stopped watching TV with the major exception being Football.  As a result I have missed out on a lot of really great shows over the course of that time and am probably still missing out on a ton.  However, this is something I have slowly been trying to rectify by picking up seasons of shows on DVD, Blu-Ray, Amazon Instant Video and watching through Netflix.  

Breaking Bad is currently my favorite show on TV and is probably going to go down as #1 on my all time list of best shows ever put out.  It is amazingly well done, well acted and is full of pure awesome and win.  Last night I finished watching Season 4 (received the package from Amazon on Saturday) and once again I was highly impressed and left wanting more after each episode.  Watching the changes to the characters that have been happening since season 1 has been one hell of a ride and I am stoked that Season 5 (but sad that this is going to be the last season) starts up here in July.  I now have to make a decision to either get a DVR or spend a few bucks a week to download the latest episodes from  After finishing up Season 4 I don’t think it’s possible for me to actually have to wait until this time next year for Season 5 to come out on Blu-Ray to finish the saga.  I love this show and it will be sorely missed.
The season ended so great that I was elated to see things actually kinda sorta work out for once but knowing that there are still a ton of questions to be asked at the beginning of the new season.
For instance we are left knowing (but maybe forgetting because of the awesome finish) that Mike is still alive and had 100% loyalty to Gustavo.  He was left on an operating table in Mexico (isn’t that how all Mexican vacations end?) and should figure to be a huge factor into the final season.  So much more but I’m going to hold off my excitement until the new (final) season begins.

Next up is my #2 show which is The Walking Dead.  This has the potential to become #1 and out of everything I have watched recently is probably the only show that I can say that about. It’s going to depend on how much I love Season 2 (I have the Blu-Ray pre-ordered from amazon) and Season 3 (which I will follow in real time as well instead of waiting for it to come out on disc).  The Walking Dead also has the distinction of being the only show recently that has actually brought me to tears.  No matter how much I love the drama in Breaking Bad, I still watch the emotional scenes with distance and no hard core feelings - but for The Walking Dead I was hit really hard several times.  Kind of weird, but whatever.

Third is the only other show that I’ll probably be watching in real time (week to week) and that is the newest season of Doctor Who.  Yes - we’ve finally made it to a show that doesn’t take itself so seriously.  It’s still got some drama in it but mostly it’s a lot of goofy fun.  While David Tennant was great I really love Matt Smith and his two seasons have gotten me into the show more than anything.  In fact I feel that the last season might be one of the best scripted seasons of any show I have ever watched.  I’m currently going through it again and there is so much that I missed the first two times through it.  References that just went over my head, or references that I didn’t even know where references until after watching the full season and then coming back to watch the old episodes again.  Brilliant, f’n brilliant.

However, my viewing pleasure does not end there.  There are some shows I want to watch but just haven’t gotten around to.  There are some shows that I’ve started watching but have to catch up on and there are some shows that cause people to look at me like “you ain’t seen that yet? you retarded or something?”

Older Shows that I’ve somehow managed to skip (either mostly or entirely) and really want to watch.  Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel start off this long list of awesome.  Supernatural and Smallville also fall heavily into the rotation.  Those 4 series will last me a good long time but I’m waiting for some good sales before buying any of them (or I just renew my netflix and do it that way I guess.  Are any of them on netflix?)

I have only watched about 2 seasons worth of Dexter which is an awesome show but I’ve never had HBO or Showtime or whatever channel it’s on and just haven’t found cheap seasons when I’ve been looking.  On a similar note I have never watched any of the Soprano’s and I really want to watch that show. I also need to catch up on Damages - and with that in mind I am horribly disappointed that the company that puts it out only released Season 1 on Blu-Ray and the rest as DVD only. WTF? Seriously?

Some new shows that I will be watching soon thanks to Best Buy offering a 100% trade in bonus on video games recently.  Game of Thrones season 1, Hell on Wheels season 1 and Boardwalk Empire season 1.  They are all waiting for me, patiently I might add.  Now that I’ve finished Breaking Bad I have to figure out which one of these shows I’m going to jump into next.

I'm sure there are a lot of great programs out there that I've been missing, it's just that no one has pointed me in the right direction. So, if you all have recommendations just let me know and I'll probably test drive a few.

Weight Loss Day 3

This is two days in a row that I have woke up and actually felt hunger - something I am unaccustomed to.  It’s a weird feeling that I am sure I’ll adapt to and will eventually go away.

Hunger is a strange feeling for a fat guy like myself.  I’ve used and abused food for nearly the past 3 decades after starting my life deprived of it and being malnourished that I’m just so used to getting something to eat at the first even remote feeling of hunger.
Fruits, Veggies, Ice Cream, Chips, something.  Even if it’s just some gas passing that I misinterpreted as hunger I’m used to running to the fridge (or pantry) and grabbing something to fill the void. So, it makes this a bit weird in that I’m trying to keep to a mostly consistent eating schedule and I’m actually thinking about and watching what I put in my system.  I now find myself looking at my food choices and deciding what to eat partially based on how much room it will leave me to eat whatever later in the day.  Yesterday I passed on something because I knew I’d be out of points before dinner.

I do realize that I am currently just playing the guessing game with my points.  I don’t know how much of a serving I am giving myself as compared to the recommended.  However the most important part is that I have cut back on my portions to something much more reasonable.  I’m so used to having a plethora of food available to me. I’m used to being able to eat seconds or even thirds if I really wanted too, only stopping when I just couldn’t stuff another bite in me.  That has been normal to me or most of my life now - I know, first world problems right?
The hardest part, thus far, about losing weight is actually consciously making the choice to eat less and stop before I’m stuffed.  Oh what a glorious day this will be when I’m no longer having to think about that and it just becomes second nature to me to NOT load my plate up full of everything and chow down.  Yes - 1 chicken breast is enough for a meal.

However, the difference this time is that I’ve got a support group and I’m keeping up with it long enough to show results.  And currently I’m showing enough results to keep me really motivated.  While I have an official weigh in day of Sunday that I am tracking I do jump on the scale every day before I hop in the shower and every day that magical number decreases.  Of course when you’re packing as much as I have been it’s pretty easy to burn through the 1st bunch of pounds.  I’m sure life will get interesting when weight loss becomes harder and I’ve got to actually work to drop a few pounds to get to the next goal, but for now it’s all smooth sailing!

As I finish typing this after my dinner (two small chicken breasts) I see my leftover points and start googling what kind of decadent desserts I can eat for that amount I know I have a problem lol.  I’ve survived another day.  The first couple weeks are always the hardest (I’ve read this somewhere which means it must be true) but so far I haven’t had any rough patches.

Oh Glorious Post 200

All hail it in it's full glory, this is the 200th post of my current blogs tenure.
What started off as a poker blog with minimal updates back in June and July of last year has morphed into something that occasionally talks about poker but focuses more on life in general.

This particular run started in November and saw me establish a routine of actually keeping up with writing and gaining some loyal followers (38 subscribed and many others who follow anonymously).

Looking back on my first post I see that I had a lofty goal of trying to post at least once per week and starting to hit the gym again.  In regards to the gym that's still one of my goals.  I did it for a month and gave up and I really want to start it up again but laziness behooves me to stay at home in the A/C (which has not worked since Friday FFS) and watch TV shows on Blu-Ray, play Video Games, read books and Comic Books and whatever else I can find to pass the day away other than getting healthier.
In regards to posting once a week it appears as though what I really meant to say was "once per day" as it's become such a routine for me to shit down and type away my daily thoughts.

In November I also posted about my love for The Lord of the Rings which I'd like to give a short expansion on now.  I'm now up to 4 copies owned of the movies which really wasn't my plan.  Buying the regular editions on DVD when they came out and then years later when they started releasing the extended editions, special collectors edition extended editions with book ends and other goodies at Best Buy, I splurged on all of those as well.  Then Blu-Ray came along and I ended up waiting for the Extended Editions before actually purchasing again because I thought I'd be saving myself money.  Well 9 months later I found myself buying the regular editions as Best Buy (once again) released something I desperately needed - Steelbooks.  yes, each movie with it's own steelbook looking pretty as a MFer and being that they were on sale and then a week later on sale further I gave into temptation - I now own 4 copies of Lord of the Rings (and oddly enough, all 4 copies are sealed).  To this day I have never watched the Extended Editions - though I hope to reconcile that soon with a one day marathon.

One of my more popular posts was about how I won my dog in a game of craps.
November was a decent month for me, it was the start of something beautiful.  Wordy, but beautiful.

The only thing I want to point out in December was that this is when I was introduced to C.S. Splitter who I think is an excellent up and coming author. In a post I talked about his first two books which I really think everyone should go out and read.  Upon introduction I was told I'd probably like his one book and where to get it for free, instead I paid for a copy (99 cents - balla!) and downloaded it for my Kindle Fire and immediately afterwards went and grabbed his second book.  Since then I have been in communication with Splitter and actually feel like I have developed a friendship from our interactions.
I bought both books the day they hit print and am told that they are getting lots of autographs - From the cover artist, from the editor and from the author as well.  I'll believe that the day they actually show back up in my mailbox though :)
The 3rd book is probably coming out sometime around September and once again I'll pick it up the day it comes out - not only because I love Splitters writing style but because I've heard rumblings that there is a a character based loosely off of me in the book (and I understand I will not be dying a horrible violent death).  This will have me giddy to no end and I can't wait to read it and tell the world (by world I mean my 50ish readers give or take) about it.  So, once again - everyone reading this that has not downloaded a copy of it should go and do so.  both books won't set you back the price of a Subway foot-long I believe.

On Feb 29th (that's right, Leap Fucking Day Biznitches) I posted about how I hit 25 followers and 10k page views.  Both of those are serious milestones to someone like me.  Back when I started this blog I was getting like 10 hits a year and had one follower - Carmel - but I felt like she didn't count because we were dating and she was practically required to follow my blog so that it wasn't so lonely.
However, here I sit now with 38 followers of the Cult of grrouchie and almost 35,000 page views in total awe that you all keep coming back to read my babble.  I'm addicted to your comments - and if you read between the lines this means LEAVE MORE COMMENTS!!! heh, do whatever you want - I just had to beg once :)

So, back to present day instead of harping on the past.  This is a long post already and that last sentence means that it's about to get longer.  That's right - you can't split this post in two. You can't have a 200th post part one and 200th post part two.  Part two would be 201 and thus ruin the whole continuity of everything. It would probably rip a hole in the space/titty continuum (two u's back to back - that's one messed up word right there. It's right up there with hemorrhoid with the RRH in the middle) and ruin life as we know it.

I originally wanted to talk about my debt a lot on this blog but have pretty much ignored it and left it out like a bastard step child.  However I am down to under 3 grand in non-house debt and that's pretty damned exciting.  I consider myself debt free when I only have the house to worry about and as a Dave Ramsey devotee I will go outside and make a nice and loud primal scream and then move on with my life.

Now that the debt is basically gone I have a new focus in my life and that is getting healthier.  As I hit 300 pounds I realized that I was within a few cheeseburgers of a heart attack and that shit kind of scares me.
I truly believe that I'm immortal (until proven otherwise) but hitting 300 and at the same time reading about Lightning talking about his heart attack - it got me a bit motivated.

Since that point I have dropped over 20 pounds, I am close to dropping a pant size, I'm still not exercising but baby steps people.  I didn't get fat over night and I won't get thin over night either.  Well, honestly, I won't get thin at all.  But I'll become less fat.

By the way - I wrote this immediately after post #198 but won't publish it until after post #199 which I'm thinking about writing right now just so I can get #200 out of the way.
Someday's I have nothing better to do than just sit and babble.

I'll leave you with this final thought (probably):
As I trudge on towards financial freedom I hope to post about how I am investing in my future and letting you all watch my money grow so that I don't have to be a broke joke when it comes time to retirement (which is the pace I am on now - giving hand jobs for warm sandwiches).
As I trudge towards a healthier me you will all have to suffer about how tasty my salad was and how I measured out exactly one tablespoon just to realize how f'n ridiculous it is to have that as a serving size when eating a large bowl full of lettuce.
As I trudge towards just being a better person in general I won't mention any of that shit at all, instead you'll get to hear about the stuff that I hate, what pisses me off and how small my penis really is.

grrouch out readers!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Weight Loss Day 2

It feels kind of weird starting this posting before my day has really begun but I pretty much never do things according to plan.
The good news is last night it was, once again, too hot to eat in the evening which saved me some points.  I guess the broken A/C is good for one thing (other than making everyone bitchy).

My system is rejecting something in my diet. I know this because the last three days that I have eaten my packed lunch my system has rejected something violently out the other end.  I thought maybe just a touch of the stomach bug last week because this weekend was no issues at all. Then yesterday it happened again after I ate lunch.
So now I have to systematically eliminate things to find out where the issue is coming from. Today is a no cheese day.  Its only been happening after I eat the lunch portion of my meal so I’m going to believe that the answer lies there somewhere.  Maybe it’s the chicken, cooked with a spice my body doesn’t like.  Maybe it’s the salad dressing and it’s time for me to move on to something different.  Who knows, but I hope to have it figured out by the end of this week so that the annoyance can be done with.

Yesterday I did not make really healthy choices. I was faced with a big fat brownie that I could have just had a portion of but instead I ate the whole bloody thing figuring that if it comes down to it I could use some of my weekly allowance of points and deal with it later.  Five minutes later I regretted that decision but I worked everything else out for the rest of the day and it, thankfully, did not come back to haunt me.  Today I will NOT be making that same mistake.
Last night I had a talk with my friend who is doing this with me and she said that when she has a day like that she just accepts it and realizes that she will most likely just end up eating a few fruits and vegetables for dinner/snack later in the day.  It was her mistake and as such she has to own up to it.  I really liked the way she reasoned it and it helped me to not just say “f-it” and go over my points for the day.

I am also trying really hard to get into a routine of when I eat so that my body can adapt to consistency.  I’ll have my “breakfast” during my 1st break.  My lunch at my next, a snack after that, etc.  Same time every day (except weekends) to keep a routine and if I’m feeling hungry before then I just tell myself that I can make it until xx:xx AM and ignore it. Easier said than done now that my portions are smaller than I’m used to and my stomach doth protest.

And now I finish this post 12 odd hours later as I'm winding down and about to try and sleep in the non A/C'd apartment again. Good news is I'm probably sweating off half a pound of my fat ass every night!
The good news is that as I prepare to put myself to sleep I used all but 2 of my points tonight. I just finished off a single serving of Swedish Fish (again) in order to fill in an extra few points. I figure I might as well use them now when I have them because in 6 months my allotted points are going to be a lot less which is not going to leave room for a random snack at the end of the evening.
Two days down and an eternity to go.

Also, I just finished watching Breaking Bad Season 4 tonight and now have to find a way to follow Season 5 when it airs instead of waiting for it to be released on Blu-Ray.
Probably have a review up within a week if I feel motivated.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Weight Loss - Day 1

To make life easier for those that don't care I'm going to use the generic naming category above for all of my weight loss posts. My theory is that by at least talking about it I'll be more likely to keep it up. If y'all know anything by this point you know that I like to write and this gives me another reason to put pen to paper (fingers to keyboard?) and babble some more. With that being said...

Ahhh, the official start to the new me, Weight Loss Day 1.
After going through my trial run for the past 5 or so days I feel like the hardest part is going to be limiting my bad snacks.  There are too many times where I’m either sitting around and bored or I’ve already eaten but I start to look for a snack.
Last night was one of those nights and I decided to go to the fridge and grab a handful of fruit to get me by, strawberries specifically.  At the end of the night I noticed my points total and I still had some left so I decided to eat One Single Serving of Swedish Fish.
That is going to be another big issue, portion control.  Looking at packages and sticking to actual serving sizes.  The fish for instance, one serving size is 7 pieces and there are approx 5 servings per package.  Under normal circumstances I am pretty sure I could devour all 35 pieces without thinking about it too much, however last night I exercised control and counted out 7 pieces, and only 7 pieces.  I’m content that I was able to do that even though I wanted to just tear into the whole damned package.

Last Wednesday when I bought my scale I immediately took it out of the package so I could weigh myself.  I was 282.8 or something like that.  I was very happy with that number because I know I was just 300 recently.  I felt like all of my hard work of trying to avoid most snacks and stop eating out so much was not for nothing.
Of course this was mid-day and I know that there has to be consistency of when I weigh myself in order to track proper results.

So, I’ve decided that I will weigh myself upon waking up, first thing in the morning.  While I should stick to just on Sundays to just see my weekly results I’ve been pretty much doing it every single day at this point.  I’ll probably stop that once I show a gain from the previous day or once I show that I’m flat over a few days in a row.  I know the ultimate goal is slow steady weight loss and I feel like I’m at a point where I can be happy with that.
So, on Sunday when I jumped on the scale 1st thing in the morning I was at 277 which is great.  Almost down 25 pounds from my heaviest point and almost to my 1st goal of 275.  I’m hoping next Sunday will show me at 275 so that I can start working towards my second goal which I think I’m just going to do in 5% increments - 261.

I’ve been doing a lot of random research when I’m sitting around and bored, looking at different foods with different point values to figure out what I could eat and what I should eat.
For instance, yesterday because I was in a hurry I ended up grabbing a double cheeseburger from Burger King before running to a friends house. I also got a Value Menu order of fries.
The Burger is 12 points and the Fries are 6 points - 18 points.  Right now in my fat ass state this isn’t a huge amount and I can get away with a meal being 18 points - but as my point total goes down further and further 18 points is going to cut into my allotment by a good chunk for a burger and fries? Is it worth it?  Well, yesterday it really wasn’t.
On the contrast I can go to Subway and get a 6 inch Chicken Teriyaki for 10 points. If I have the full 12 inch it’s 19 points.  A lot more food and a lot more satisfying.  If I substitute the salad option (getting rid of the bread) then the 6 inch becomes 5 points.  I haven’t tried it yet but I think that is what I’m going to get next time I happen to run to Subway.

Meanwhile, today I have a packed lunch again filled with the usual suspects that include my main course of a salad.  I think I’m going to work on cutting back my dressing and cheese as those two add most of the points to the actual meal.  The cheese being the easier of the two to cut out as plain lettuce really doesn’t appeal to my senses.

So, to conclude:  Day 1 I start with a 56 point allotment and 49 anytime points to use during the week which I’ll most likely keep handy for a few beers or something.  I am going to try my best to not use them at all most weeks but I know I’ll have days where I end up going over my points because Fat Boy gets hungry and wants a snack!

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Ahhhh Sunday - I'm not sure if I hate you more than Monday or not but I'll finger that out eventually.

To re-cap - I haven't really slept much in the past two nights because of the 85+ degree's that this piece of shit apartment keeps when the AC decides it wants to retire.
Today is cooler currently but it's not even 9 am yet so I'm sure that's going to change.

I have a home poker game that I'm heading out to that I think starts at noon so that ought to be a few hours of fun.

For Comic Books I read up through Issue #35 of Deadpool's current run (and I bought all of those when they were on a big sale last month) and have started working on the entire run of 28 Days Later (which I also bought as a bundle with a deep discount), I'm liking 28 Days Later so far but it really makes me want to start reading through The Walking Dead again.

Paperwork for the House gets mailed out on Monday. I finally have all the documents and supporting evidence that I need and am looking forward to this whole process ending.
Spoke to a lady on Friday and she told me that once they get the paperwork and send it to an underwriter it typically takes 30-45 days.  Being that i was at work at the time this conversation happened (and on the floor helping customers) I didn't get to ask too many questions so I'll have to do that this coming week.
The story on that:
Thursday I called the moment I got out of work which was around 2:30.  The recorded message told me that the current hold time was "Greater than 3 hours" and if I wanted to I could leave my phone number and they would get back to me when it was my turn.  So, obviously I chose that option. I received no call back.
I call again in the morning when I figure they are open and once again "The current hold time is GREATER than 3 hours" and once again I choose to receive a call back.
After entering in my phone number I am told that I am already in the system and my current wait time is between 1:15 - 1:45, more acceptable I guess.
3 hours later I call in again and am told that my current position is 7-13 minutes out.
1 hour later I finally receive a phone call, after an 18 hour wait from the first time.
This phone call came while I'm on the floor having a conversation with a manager and an employee in Flooring.
A customer is asking for help, in Flooring mind you, and the manager tells me to go take care of it even though it's not my area.  As I'm getting info from the customer my phone rings and I know it's the call back and I look at the customer and tell her "Sorry, I'm a horrible employee but this is important and I've been waiting for this call for a long bloody time....."
I take the call, while chatting I help the customer and everyone goes on their happy ways.

So, it is my hope (theory, whatever) that if the package makes it to the underwriter that means that I am approved and it just takes time for everything to go through.  I'm hoping that once they get it and approve me they will let me know so that I'm not sitting around in my underwear waiting by the phone for them to let me know if I'm going to have to find a new apartment of if I'm going to make one last move before I croak.

I received my copy of Breaking Bad Season 4 on Blu-Ray yesterday and ran through the 1st disc.  As usual I love it and feel it's probably the best show on TV (and am going to be sad when they end it all after Season 5) but there was one thing that annoyed me during I think episode 3.

There is this scene where Jessie comes home from a hard day at work and picks up a meth-head from his living room to head to the bedroom for what I believe is going to be coked-out-sex. However once they get to the bed the chick picks up an Xbox 360 controller and starts playing a game.  Within seconds Jessie grabs his controller and both are playing when they cut to the TV to show the game they are enjoying.
Mario Kart.
Mario Fucking Kart.
Ok, maybe I just assumed they were Xbox 360 controllers - maybe they were really black Classic controllers and I was wrong.
Camera cuts back to them playing the game and you can clearly see that they are Xbox 360 controllers, shoulder buttons and all.
I'm sure this bugged me more than it should and more than it has to anyone else, but seriously.  It doesn't take much knowledge or even research to be able to not have this error.
I finished the disc anyway and enjoyed the rest of it - especially the Meth Head conversations about what zombies were better (Left 4 Dead, Resident Evil 4, Call of Duty World At War Zombie Mode, etc) and the one where the Meth Head was talking about if enough people were pushing hard on a chain link fence, that the guy at the front could conceivably be squeezed through the chain links and killed.


And finally - Today is Day Zero.
While my diet technically starts tomorrow I have been following it pretty well since maybe Weds.
My first official weigh in was at 6:45 this morning and I came in at 277.  I have lost 5 pounds since I bought my scale last week and am down nearly 25 pounds since I realized I was too fat to fuck.

Saturday, June 09, 2012

Day Negative One

Tomorrow is Day Zero which is the official first weigh in before actually beginning this Journey!
The other day I wrote about how I have been slowly making some changes to my food intake in order to be healthier and maybe have a weight loss side effect and much to Josie's dismay I have shed a good chunk of pounds in the past two months (and Josie - it's not all from cutting out non diet soda which I rarely drank at that point anyway :)

I'm not going to over do these posts but I'm going to at least try to do them once a week to update my progress and how much I am struggling to meet my goals.
Last night, as my last "crappy" dinner before starting my actual challenge I went out and had a nice huge plate of Chicken Chow Mein semi-spicy.  It was bloody tasty and while it wasn't as bad as something like a rack of ribs it still hit the spot quite well.  I'll be planning on doing a bad meal or day at least once a month depending on how everything else is going.

That being said - my current packed lunch fits almost perfectly in with my daily point allowance which is nice.  I'm not looking forward to lowering my points because that means I'm going to have to cut some things out or actually make healthier choices.  I guess that's one of the drawbacks of NOT being so far.

Other than some random weight loss my main (current) goal is to be able to fit into my hockey jersey again (by the time the season starts up).
While I still technically fit into it, I'm snug as a bug in a rug and that, as the Spanish speakers say, is no bueno.

Friday, June 08, 2012

Not So Great Way To Start The Weekend

11 pm
93 degrees
no fucking AC
AC made loud funny noises around 11 am and has not worked since.
Maintenance guy came out, played with the Thermostat for a few moments, played with the breakers for a few moments and then decided he had to go on the roof to play with the actual fucking AC unit.
Came back down, flipped some switches, went back up.
Got the "fan" working but that's it - says he has to come back tomorrow to check up on it and probably replace the condenser or compressor or Kompressor or whatever.
Fuck, I'm not going to be able to sleep worth a damn tonight and I sure as shit hope he gets that bitch working tomorrow.


Thursday, June 07, 2012

Every Smart Man

...Builds a shed over his most important Tool.  Yes, this is the battle cry of fatty's everywhere.  I had always told myself that when I couldn't look down and see little Beavis any longer that's when I'd make sure to lose some weight - but a combination of me having a small tally-whacker and me lying to myself it never happened.

I've been heavy most of my life and I've always been cool with it, but the older I get the more I realize that maybe I should be less heavy for the health of it.  For the past 6 years I've weighed in right around 280 pounds give or take, but just within the past few months I jumped on a scale and saw that I was really close to 300 and that kind of scared me a bit so I decided I really needed to make a change.

So, since that point I have been slowly making some changes and of course violently falling off of the wagon only to crawl back on it and start again.  For simplicity sake I'm just going to say that I noticed my weight at the beginning of April (Oh Ms O'Neil how I do adore thee).

My biggest weakness is potato chips. It's just too easy to pick up a bag or three and chow through them. It's also easy to just finish a bag without realizing it.  So, when I have chips I try to make it the little snack size bags to control my portions, however there have been a few times when I'll just randomly grab a big bag while at the store and next thing I know I've eaten like half the bag and finish it off the next day.  Control issues - Hand Raised.

Things that I have done:
I am at about 98% diet Dew.  Now I don't need to hear anyone's babbling brook of bullshit telling me how diet soda is just as bad as regular soda an whatever the fuck else people want to point to.  Fact of the matter is by switching to diet Dew I've cut out a lot of sugar.  A lot -A-Fucking-Lot!  Seriously.  In one 12 oz can of Regular Mt Dew there is 47 grams of sugar.  Even though I have cut back on the amount of Dew I have drank over the years I still go through a minimum of 4 cans of Dew every single day.  I crack one when I wake up, I have two at work and I have one (sometimes more) when I'm chilling in the evening.  I've been adding water into my diet and cutting out some of the Dew, but I still drink a lot of that shit.  So, lets just round down to 4 cans of Dew every day and you are looking at 188 grams of sugar in a day.  That is an awful lot of sugar to cut out of my fat-and-ever-increasing-ass per day.  So, if you want to tell me that Diet is just as bad for me, Fuck You until you can prove your case (and then I'll just switch back to regular biznatch).

I have cut out on eating out (I'm single so I had no choice *rim shot*) to 2-4 times per month.  I pack my lunch for work every day so that I am not tempted to go to buy any of the junk that I was consistently filling my body with.  No more Sam's Club Pizza.  No more Burgers from wherever.  No more Panda Express.  Not even Jared's favorite Subway meals.  No, Now I strictly control what I put in my body during the work day.

I have also cut back on my portion sizes during dinner.  I used to load my plate up and just eat like a pig.  now I carefully dictate how much I am going to eat by trying to stick kinda sorta stick to the recommended serving sizes.

So, those three changes have led me to drop from 300 pounds to 282 pounds (back to where I'm used to being) in about 2 months.

Now, on to part two of my plan which was just conceived like 2 days ago.  I've got a friend who is also trying to lose weight and has used Weight Watchers with some success in the past.  However, upon going back to normal eating habits she has gained her weight back (well, some of it) and asked me if I could help to keep her motivated in losing weight again and trying to keep it off.  Shit yeah - I'm all for a buddy system (because my motivation is pretty close to zero on my own).  So, I'm now in the process of turning my daily food (I pretty much eat the same exact thing every bloody day) into what-the-fuck-ever their point system is so that I can do the play-along-at-home game.  I also bought a bathroom scale so that I can actually weigh myself with some regularity and I can see how my changes are affecting me.  I'm hoping to gain a bit more motivation and maybe add in some exercise (which I keep telling myself and you guys that I'm going to do) in order to help improve the results.

End result, I'm going to look sleek and sexy and all you mofo's are gonna want my body (just the ladies, the guys will just want to be like me).

So - today is Day Negative 3 as I'm officially starting on Monday.  I'm going to have one outrageous meal this weekend before beginning and I'm actually kind of looking forward to it.

And now I leave you with this:
April O'Neil Coz Play? OoOoO-La-La!