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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

May Goals

April was a weird month, I feel like I didn't really do anything at all during the entire month.
I stopped reading the "backlog" of comics that I was hammering away at for the first 3 months of the year and instead I've been slowly trudging through Insomnia (and you've all read this like 5 times already so I'll shut up about it starting now).
The only thing new was that I started going to the gym but I know I need to go more often.
Baby steps, much like with the rest of my self improvements, Baby Steps.

May just feels like it's going to be a big month for me.  I've got some plans and hopefully a big announcement coming within the next few weeks.


So - Lets set some goals for myself for the month of May.
Ending Weight Goal 230  (Starting Weight - ????)

Trips to the gym - 10 Minimum (2 weeks of 3 and 2 weeks of 2).
Miles Logged on the Elliptical - 60 Minimum (this will force me to get some extra gym trips in).
TV Seasons Watched - 1 (Pick from Dexter Season 4, Game of Thrones Season 2, Prison Break Season 2).

Books Finished - 1 (Started and finished within the month)
Comics read - 100 (going to be tough with adding a book to the mix)

Poker Sessions - 4 (Minimum)


Monday, April 29, 2013

Insomnia

I've been reading this book over the course of the month and really enjoying it.
However I don't appear to have the ability to put in a long reading session as this book has literally taken the whole month to read.
I'm two thirds of the way through it right now and I really want to finish it before the month ends so that I can start a new one and go back to reading comic books again (well, old comic books that is as I've been keeping up with the stuff on my pull list pretty easily).


I haven't even bothered to follow since the playoffs but I saw this on Google+ and decided that I know enough Lakers Fans that I had to share.

Now, it's 1 am and I should be sleeping so I'm going to go read until I pass out.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

That Escalated Quickly

This is a true story.


So my buddy puts his car up for sale on craigslist and gets a text reply today.
The following is all paraphrased.

Stranger: Hey man, sorry this is so late but is your car still available.
Buddy: Yeah
Stranger: My car broke down and is now costing me a lot of money, I need a car that works. I'm an honest 26 year old and no one is willing to help me.
Stranger: I don't have any money at the moment but I'm willing to trade you my phone, the Xperia XL, AT&T, valued at $650 plus some cash.
Stranger: I can make cash payments a little at a time over the next couple months.
Buddy: Sorry but I can't, I'm selling the car because I have bills I have to pay.
Stranger: Why doesn't anyone want to help me out. I'm going to kill myself


I suggested all of the following.

Pics or it didn't happen
Ask the guy to face time it
Wait a week and then text him asking if he was still looking for a car. If he responds guilt trip him. "I thought you were going to kill yourself, pussy."
my buddy added.
"What, are you a little bitch? Why didn't you go through with it?"

I'm considering putting an ad on Craigslist selling a cheap car but willing to barter. Need an AT&T Phone....

Getting into the rhythm

This evening, after work, on my drive home I told myself that I was going to walk through my doors and get changed for the gym.
I actually accomplished this.

Hit up the gym and while I did not log the hour that I would have liked I still managed to go 35 minutes.
After being at work all day I was just too tired and didn't have the motivation to push through for a full hour but I wanted to make sure that I went for a minimum of 30 minutes and 3 miles.
These are going to be my absolute minimums from now on.  I'm hoping to up that to 4 miles by the middle of next month.


There are a few days left in the month but I'm already looking ahead.
Now that I've spent the month trying to get into the gym habit I'm going to set myself some goals for May as far as exercise is concerned.

I will continue to post my post workout pictures as proof of whether or not I'm actually achieving what I want to or not and let the domino's fall where they may.


Friday, April 26, 2013

Next Month - Yeah, that's the ticket

There really hasn't been much going on this month for the grrouch!
I've taken the month off of my comic book obsession and instead have been reading through Stephen Kings's Insomnia during my reading hours instead.  It's amazing how much longer it takes to read a book than to go through a comic book.
I'm a bit over half way through and I'd like to finish it this month so that means I need to actually start reading more than 20-30 minutes at a time.  Whatever #1stWorldProblems.

Yesterday the NFL Draft started and of course I had to work through it.  I'll be working during today's portion as well and while we're at it the whole bloody weekend tool... So this means I'll play catch up on Sunday and read about how they think the Steelers had just an average draft and blah blah blah.
Evidently the Vikings really pulled out a good one or something.

Everything that is truly exciting for me starts happening next month so in the next few weeks I should have some good news to report.

I've had some fun struggles back and forth with the Mortgage company and the Insurance company the past month.  All is resolved but it was still fun as ever.

First I get a letter stating that my insurance was being cancelled.
I call to find out what the problem is and they tell me that because I don't live in my house they are cancelling the insurance.
I get that sorted out.
However, not before they send a letter to my Mortgage company stating that the insurance was cancelled.

Next I get a letter from Mortgage company telling me that I don't have any insurance. I make some calls and once again it gets sorted out.

Or so I thought.  Yesterday I get a letter from the Insurance company telling me no payment has been made and I need to cough up multiple hundreds of dollars within 2 weeks or my insurance is cancelled.
So, today I call them and then call the Mortgage company and ask why they haven't bothered to send the payment and they say it's because they received the cancellation notice - but no one bothered to send the "oh we screwed up, Insurance is still on" notice.
So, a payment is being overnight-ed (and I'm told that means it will get there Tuesday and today is Friday... uh...) and all will be resolved.

So, next week I'll be able to make a few phone calls to find out that everything is now right with the world and there are no worries.  The sun is shining and the birds are chirping and there is a drunk pissing on the wall of a 7-11 somewhere.

Time flies like the wind
but Fruit Flies like bananas.

I had a dream that I was at work naked (I don't remember having naked dreams as a child) and I was helping customers while holding a shirt over my tally-whacker instead of just putting it on and covering it up.
Some big black lady wanted to walk past me in the aisle to get to some product but the aisle was pretty narrow and she might have to turn sideways (I told you she was BIG) and might end up brushing up against me trying to get to her destination.
Randomly at the end of it I discovered that I was wearing underwear and then all my clothes started appearing out of no where and next thing I know I woke up because my phone was ringing.
It was the love of my life and I'll forgive her for disturbing my sleep!

Also - on Facebook a new page called Lowe's Meme's has popped up.
This is the most accurate picture I probably have ever seen in my life.  Enjoy.


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

One hour in under a month

Yes, having already lost a small child has made a huge difference in my stamina at the gym.
I didn't start going to the gym this year (even though it was a new years revolution) until this month - April Fools day to be exact - but I've never felt better while at the gym than I do now.
My pace is much faster than it's ever been and I'm able to go longer than I would have previously.
Pretty exciting stuff for a fat guy.

Today I decided that I was going to shoot for an hour even if I had to keep a slower pace than I have been doing lately.
Good news is that I hit the hour.
Better news is that I kept up a pace over 6 mph for at least the first 45 minutes.
Those last 15 minutes were up and down as I was getting tired.
The last 5 minutes were all at about 4.2-4.5 MPH.

The only negative about the photo below is that for whatever reason the computer didn't accept my answer when I put in my weight at the beginning.
Somewhere around the half way mark I noticed it wasn't tracking my calories so I had to re-enter my weight for it to begin.  So, lets just assume somewhere around 600 calories burned.


Red Rock Casino done me wrong

I'm going to try to post whenever I play until I'm playing regularly again.
Regularly is going to be difficult though as my "free" money will be decreasing in the near future.
More on that in 3-4 weeks though.

But now, Red Rock Casino.


I don't know if I just hate myself or what but I decided to head over to Red Rock casino the day after my brutal beatings at Hooters.
However, this time I went prepared and ate beforehand so that I didn't have to suffer a food bad beat and pray that the Red Rock TP was as soft as the MGM TP.

Of course, Red Rock being a locals casino I didn't expect a boat load of action and huge pots everywhere, but the games are generally good every time I go there and it also helps that my biggest win at live poker also came from this room.

Upon sitting I noticed that my table had two readers.  One reading on his iPad and the other reading a paperback.  There was an old man (or 6) and a couple people nearing my age with one younger.

My first seat saw me be card dead and as such I decided to move closer to the dealer when a seat opened up - this ended up being the 9 seat.

About 30 minutes into moving into the 9 seat my luck changed slightly.

I look down and see some Aces in my hand (and by some I mean more than one but less than 3) and decide this would be a good time to make a raise (Actually my 2nd in a row as I just picked a bad spot the previous hand with 35off and found out a guy really loved his hand on a KKx flop).
So, i get a limper and pop it to $12 which nets me two callers.

Flop comes out Jxx with no flush or straight draw currently.  I bet $30 and the guy to my left decides to just throw all his chips into the middle (about $60-70 more to call).
The other person in the hand decides to bow out respectably.

I call without thinking and show my aces and my opponent is about to show his hand when he realizes what my hand is and figures out that he is behind and then decides that showing isn't something he wants to do.
That all changed when the turn was another Jack and he promptly showed his AceJack off leaving me drawing to One Out.

That one out did not hit.

The rest of the night I was card dead with my best two hands being AKo and 66.
Needless to say I still hate poker but will keep playing until I have to give my house away to cover a wreck-less debt.


Sunday, April 21, 2013

An evening at Hooters

So last night I headed out for an evening of poker and while it ended up being enjoyable, ugh.

I'm not 100% sure what made me end up at Hooters though it was probably a bunch of factors all rolled into one.  I know TBC had been playing there recently so it increased my likely-hood of running into him and knowing how one nit at the table plays.  I've also never even set foot in the Hooters Casino so I figure'd that it would be a good time to check that off my list and I hear they run an Aces Cracked promo until 7 pm so that means the game would be tight and predictable which should help lower variance.
However, I'm beginning to assume my middle name is Variance because I either experience a lot of it or I'm just really shitty at this game.

I get there and a table is just starting up, 4 handed with a guy away from the table.  Within 30-40 minutes the table is full and all is good.  By all is good I mean the cards suck, horrible.

While playing 4 and 5 handed I had a great run of cards, getting big pairs and hitting big hands on flops and turns and increasing my stack a little at  a time.  However all of this took a turn for the worse when I decided that I should arrive at the Coolering portion of my evening.

I look down and see the strongest hand in poker, Seven Duce of Clubs (I have a history with this hand oddly enough) and decide to make a raise to $12 and get 2 callers.
Flop comes out all Clubs and I make a Continuation bet of $27 and get one caller.  Turn does not pair the board nor does it add a 4th club and I just feel this guy has the Ace of clubs and is trying to spike it.
I bet the rest of his stack which he instantly calls.
I flip up the bad news not realizing that I was the one receiving the bad news as he turns over the Ace of clubs and then exposes his Queen of clubs netting him the large pot because I guess the Ace out ranks my 7. Whatever.

Add some more to my stack and a short while later I look down and see Queens for the 3rd time this evening.  There are a couple of limpers and I pop it to $16 and get 2 callers.
Flop comes out Ace Queen Jack and it's not pretty but what can you do.  I bet $35 and get two callers.
Turn comes out a blank and I push getting just one caller.
I flip up the bad news not realizing..... you know the routine.
He had AA for a bigger set only calling pre-flop hoping he could lose and collect the $100 for getting Aces Cracked.

Ok - So Flush over Flush and Set over set while I was the aggressor both times.... Lets throw another one out there.

I've got 8T and make a raise to $12 with 3 callers.  Flop comes out 7TJ with two hearts.  i bet out $27 and get two callers.  Turn is another T.  Now I've got a gutshot and trips and while someone could have a straight I kind of like my hand.  I bet enough to put the short guy in and another guy makes a raise for the rest of his chips which I call (stacks aren't important because this is pretty much a TBC Summary).
3 way all in and I am not feeling very confident.
I turn up my cards.  Next guy show 9J for top pair gutshot.
next guy shows Q9 for open ended.
No flush draws.
River is of course the 8 giving Q9 the nuts and I watch my chips ship again.

Flush over flush, set over set, straight over straight....
Fuck Hooters Casino
Seriously.

After that I went over to MGM to play with Rob a bit and enjoyed the session even though it was mostly dull.  I did end up getting aces and had a guy double me up on a Ten high board because, as he said, "when I have a pocket pair it's just really hard for me to put someone else on Aces."
His pocket pair was 99.
Oh well, thanks for playing.

I also later won a pot with 42 of diamonds when i turned 2 pair.

I might end up back at Hooters today if they have a full table going just to play nit poker.

One more thing about Hooters.
The restaurant has this deal going for 3 chicken taco's for 3 dollars.
3 Spicy chicken tacos for 3 dollars. (later I found out you could get shrimp if you wanted).
Sounds like a good deal and I watched someone else eat them and they looked good.
I ordered some.
First issue is that by the time I got them they were fucking cold - ugh.
They needed Ranch dressing to make them taste better.
They, later, at MGM violently left my system.
Good thing MGM has such soft toilet paper to ease that experience for me.


Saturday, April 20, 2013

A pact with the gym

There is this supposedly great program out there called Gympact that allows you to set up a punishment for missing trips to the gym, monetary punishments.
I have a friend who has used it and likes it and thought i'd give it a try.

The way the program works is you tell it how many days you are going to workout during the week (can change every week) and how much money you are willing to risk per workout if you don't live up to your end of the bargain.
Minimum of 3 workouts and $5 per workout.  You have to "check in" at the gym (a verified gym only) when you start your workout and check out when you leave and must stay there for at least 30 minutes.

Today I "checked in" when I arrived at the gym and when I went to check out almost 50 minutes later the app said that I failed because I left the gym too soon.  So somewhere between check in and check out the app lost it's WiFi or GPS signal to prove that I was there and decided that I left before I finished 30 minutes.

I'll probably give this another couple of tries for the rest of the week and see if I can figure out where I went wrong or if the app maybe just sucks on my phone or at my gym, then after 3-5 more try's I'll determine if I'm going to use the app or not.
The payouts (per week I think) are very minimal, estimated at maybe 40 cents per workout (while losing $5 or more per workout missed can add up quickly) so it's not really about making money but just trying to find that extra little incentive to get my fat ass to the gym on the days when I'm lacking the motivation.
Is $5 enough to make me get a workout in?  Who knows, we'll see.


Last July I posted some pics of myself when I was around 270.
Today I decided to take those same pics again (well, not all of them) and see if I could actually notice any results based on this one particular outfit.

April 2013
July 2012


April 2013
July 2012






The photo's were taken at two different locations and different distances from the mirror so we're not talking ideal conditions here but whatever.
I would have expected for the difference to be more dramatic dropping from 270 to 235 which is why I had set my weight goal to be 220.  However, after looking at these pics and seeing where I'm at I realize that I still have a good way to go still and think 200 is much more reasonable.

Today at the gym I warmed up on the treadmill for 10 minutes or so, then when an elliptical opened up I jumped on that and set my time for 30 minutes.
I was going to just do an easy 30 minutes and not push myself too hard but once I started I noticed that I was keeping a pretty good pace.  After a couple of minutes I decided to see how quickly I could do the first mile and pushed myself to hit it in nearly 8 minutes.
From there I slowed down for a mile and reached mile #2 at about the 18 minute mark.  Mile 3 fell at 27:30 give or take and I finished my workout by hitting Mile #4 at 36 minutes exactly.


Movie Talk - Snow White and The Amazing Spiderman

Tonight I watched Snow White and the Huntsman with my lady and I must say that overall I liked it.
Even though Kristen Stewart cannot act to save the baby Jose the movie was still pretty enjoyable.  What really pulled me in was the imagery and landscapes.  Of course, having Thor there to kick some ass also helps to make pretty much any movie better.

About 20 minutes into the movie the child asks "Why do they call her snow white?" and I responded "It's because she did too much cocaine when she was younger."

Unfortunately this Troll did not kill off the Twilight Saga (can't) Act(ress)

Last night we sat down together and watched The Amazing Spiderman which I liked better the second time but I found myself being a bigger nerd while watching it.  Since I have developed my comic book obsession (which I've managed to barely read any at all this month as a breather) I find myself looking at these super hero movies with a different eye than I have before.
For instance I have read many adventures of The Lizard and know his origins and as such I noticed a HUGE contrast to The Lizard in the movie.
In the movie Dr Connors keeps giving himself injections and facilitating the transformation into The Lizard while in the comic books Dr Connors only made that mistake once (at least up through the 1st few years of Spiderman's existence) and the other times he transformed were because of weird freak accidents while trying to do good and help out others.

Also, The Lizard was originally in Florida and Spidey had to travel to see if he was real and then to defeat him - this is NOT the case in the movie.
I preferred the Death of Uncle Ben of the 1st Sam Rami Spiderman to the version in The Amazing Spiderman because the Rami version held more true to the comic books.  I also prefer Mary Jane but mostly because I want to do dirty things to Mrs Dunst.  I'm also curious to see if they kill off Gwen before they finish off the set of movies they are currently making.
The Amazing Spiderman took the comic book approach of having him develop his webs instead of it being something he is just naturally capable of (true to the comic book) but it veered off way out of character for Peter Parker with the high school scenes where he taunted and humiliated Flash during the basketball scene and then again when he jacked him up against the locker after Uncle Ben died.  Peter Parker always wanted to be able to teach flash a lesson but knew that it was the wrong thing to do and that he could not use his powers in such a way.


In other Movie News:
My Steelbook of The Hobbit from the UK arrived the other day.  I still need to see if I can cheaply track down the Steelbook version that has Gollum on the cover as that one looks amazing but I think was a Germany only release.
I also made a trek to Target and picked up a copy of Django Unchained in Steelbook form to add to my collection.

Movies I'm going to be making her watch in the (hopefully) near future:
The Princess Bride
The (original) Evil Dead
The Bourne (all 4 movies)
The Hobbit

Friday, April 19, 2013

The Boston Bombers

So I spent the day with my love and ended it watching The Amazing Spiderman.
Since the first time I watched the movie I have started reading through the comic books from the beginning and am now recognizing things I never would have before.

So, my whole goal was to get home so that I could write a post detailing things that I have discovered because of the comics and maybe bitch a bit about some of the differences between the comics and the movie(s).

However, upon getting onto my computer I have a friend who was doing play by play on the Manhunt for the Boston Bombers.  it's now over an hour later - I have Fox News (it's online and the quickest one I found with streaming video/audio to listen to in the background) going so I can hear all of the updates.

One of the two guys has been killed (shot several times in the head) and the other guy is currently thought to be inside a 20 block area with police closing in.

While not quite the O.J. "Chase" which was on TV and during Prime Time, I just can't bring myself to shut the computer and get some sleep and just catch up on all of it in the morning.

However, I would like to say that with all of our modern technology helping to track down and capture these two (well one, but two shortly) I'm happy to be living in the where and when that I am.
Less than one week later these guys are getting their just desserts (though they deserve worse I would say) and will both be dead and rotting eternally (if you believe that kind of thing) shortly.


So, in the near future (tomorrow, I'm going to have a lot of free time tomorrow) I want to write about Spiderman Movies/Comics/Games and Gympact.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Killing my Calves

Yesterday before everything got going I decided to continue to hold myself into this gym thing.
It's only getting to the gym that takes motivation.  Once I'm there I'm usually golden and actually actively think of things to keep pushing myself in one way or another.

I like to break down my exercises so that I'm not focusing on "Oh gee I want to go 40 minutes today.... I've only done two.... where is there a hot butt to focus on...."
Instead I just focus on getting to a small milestone be that a certain amount of minutes or calories burned or distance traveled, whatever.  It helps me stay focused and when I get to the end of my workout if I'm still feeling really good then I focus on just going a bit more..  "Ok, I did my 30 minutes but I'm only 30 calories away from xxx, I'll just keep going till I hit that" type of stuff.

So yesterday when I got myself to the gym I knew my goal was going to be 4 miles as I did over 3 the last time.  I'm lighter than ever and I'm feeling good and I like the fact that I can actually get in this kind of time and distance so quickly.  I guess losing weight does have a benefit or two.
So, I set my distance goal at 4 miles (normally I set time goals but I like these machines giving me distance goals instead) and started off.

Another nice thing about being lighter is that my breathing is better and I'm able to go at a better pace than previously. I've been easily keeping myself above 5 mph and not struggling so after about 5-7 minutes I decided to try to pick the pace up a little bit.  I saw that I could come close to getting the first mile done in about 10 minutes so I started pushing myself a bit.
It was about 10 minutes and 30 seconds or so and I was happy with that.  And after a small swig of water I decided to just keep pushing myself at over 6mph for another song or two and next thing you know I'm approaching mile #2 while still maintaining.
Mile two happened around the 19 minute mark and that was quite elating.  So I kept at it.
Mile 3 dropped at the 29 minute mark meaning I was at least keeping to a 6mph pace for this long and I wanted to just finish off my goal doing the same.
The last mile ended around 38:08 knocking off almost a minute for the last mile.  Stoked.
I've never done a mile in under 10 before and today I managed to average under 10 minutes for 4 miles.

My calves are killing me today - well not killing but I notice the tightness.  I'm hoping to stretch and loosen them up a good deal so that I can go back tomorrow morning and do it again.  My goal is to be able to get to the point where I can do an hour every other day and at least 6 miles.
Yesterday I proved that I'm probably not too far off from being able to reach that.  Tomorrow I'll shoot for 5 miles and see how I feel.


I posted this on Facebook yesterday and one of my friends responded with
"So you're telling me you waited 45 minutes for that person to get off the treadmill just so you could take a picture of the screen?"

Monday, April 15, 2013

Weight Loss - Motivational Writings

So this month has been a little bit of a step backwards for me but I expected that it had to come sometime.
I've put back on a few of the pounds that I lost and have been eating a bit more unhealthy than previous.
While the eating thing will take care of itself (I just need to get the snack craze out of my system) I decided that I really need to start putting in the effort to hit the gym like I told myself that I would.

I went once to begin this month and then some things interfered with my desire to keep going.  Those things are now in the past.  So, I need some motivation.
The only place I'm going to find motivation is from within and the one way I know of that I can motivate myself to do something is by talking about it more.

So, you guys are going to be reading a bit more about my flabby ass heading to the gym and getting passed my chips kick and back onto my health kick.

Today while driving home I talked myself into changing and heading to the gym before going to bed.  Earlier this month I did 2 miles or so and told myself that next time I was hitting 3 miles.
Today I lived up to that end of the bargain.

When choosing which "workout" I wanted I set my desired distance instead of desired time like I have before.  I figure that I'll focus more on hitting distance marks and less on how long it takes me to do it.  So, I set it for 3 and then pushed myself to 3.5 during the "cool down" phase. My goal is to get to 5 miles and to do it in under an hour consistently.

I'm noticing that even though I haven't worked out in quite a while my ability has increased a ton just because of the weight I have already taken off.
A couple of years ago if I were to try to get into the gym routine I'd have to do a couple sessions at 15 minutes and slowly increase my way to 30 minutes and beyond whereas now I have no issue going for 30-40 minutes without having used a machine in months.
My breathing is also better during it, all huge positives and I'm quite proud of the little I've accomplished so far and looking forward to improving even more.

I have the next 7 days off work and I want to get some good quality time on the elliptical.
Tomorrow my plan is to wake up early and do an easy 30 minutes in the morning (Don't want to push myself every single day) and then wash up and head to my Doctors Appointment.
After the Doc I'll be heading to a wrestling convention that's in town for a little while.  They'll be putting on a show at 6 pm ending with a battle royal and I'm considering ponying up the couple of bucks to go to it and taking the kid along with me because I'm pretty sure he'll enjoy the shit out of it.

The Convention lasts through Weds and I'll probably attend every day so I have to force myself to get some gym time in either before or after (before would probably be the easiest).

My goal is 4-5 trips to the gym during my 7 days off.  I've got the time and I need to make the motivation.
I want to be back down to 233 by the end of this month and I know that I can do it.

I figure with healthy eating and regular exercise I should be able to lose 5 pounds per month.  This is slightly off the pace of where I had set my (probably) unrealistic goal of being by the time my buddy rolls into town for his wedding but I can live with that.  The goal is to get healthy and nothing more.

So, This is what I want to see happen (all end of month weights).
April - 233
May - 228
June - 223
July  - 218
August - 213
September - 208
October - 203
November - 198
December - 193
January - 188

My Original goal was 180 by the end of January and the Wedding.
I'll be perfectly happy with anything between 180 - 200 as my permanent weight figuring that for the last 10-15 years (maybe more) I've weight between 260 - 300 give or take (mostly hovering around 280)

Later Gators

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Bastard Husband: A Love Story

If you are following me and are not already following Linda Lou (who?) then you are doing it wrong.
Linda is an amazing woman living in Vegas (in sin?) who sometimes performs Stand Up and the local joints and dives, works a real job, travles more than anyone I have ever known in my life and also writes books.

Her First book is Bastard Husband: A Love Story and it's the type of book that makes you want to get married just to get divorced.  Develop a talent and use it to the best of your abilities so that you too can tell your story and be as cool as Linda.

In all seriousness - The Kindle version of the book is FREE this weekend. 4/13 - 4/14.
Free, did you hear that folks.

FREE

So, click the word free - Head on over to Amazon.com and Pick this bad boy up.
You are doing yourself a disservice if you don't.
Even if you don't have a kindle - Go Grab it for FREE now because you can read it on your computer or tablet or smart phone with the kindle app.  Even those crappy iThings have the kindle app.  You can probably even put the app on the Barnes and Noble Nook imitation POS.

GET THIS BOOK NOW.
Jesus will love you for it.


Thanks.

A Conversation that Never Happened

boss: "So I hear you want to be promoted?"
grrouch: "yeah, I'd like to get back into management"
boss: "willing to transfer stores?"
grrouch: "Yep, not an issue.  I like driving."
boss: "willing to work for a manager who won't help you advance your career?"
grrouch: "umm...."
boss: "willing to have good employees but watch them leave for other departments every month?"
grrouch: "huh?"
boss: "willing to never get a chance to actually manage your departments let alone see one of them?"
grrouch: "wha...."
boss: "thinking about sodomizing you as well once in a while.  How do you feel about that?"
grrouch: "..."
boss: "we'll also add a lot to your workload and have you do things that are beyond your pay grade.  Cool?"
grrouch: "...."


This is the conversation that I wish I had before being promoted last year.  I might have thought a little harder  about whether or not I wanted to set myself up for this kind of failure.

I'm down to 2 full time employees in Electrical.
In a work week, at the bare minimum you have 14 shifts (with just an opener and a closer).  Every person works 5 shifts per week.  Two people means I have 10 shifts worth of workers to cover 14 shifts and still somehow manage to get all the work done and make the department look good and keep up with sales.
The department is double digit comping currently and completely understaffed.... I wonder what we could do if we actually had employees.

In plumbing I just lost my full time CSA - the guy I was supposed to be training to be my replacement.
He is getting replaced by a part timer guy (sometime - in the hopefully near future).
Full time = 40 hours per week.  Part time = 10-30 depending, on average probably 20.
So, I'm getting half an employee to make up for the guy I was supposed to rely heavily on...
I'm also (soon I hear) losing my part time guy as well (to another department).....
I had 2-3 weeks with really good coverage and it's now right back to never actually working with my own employees and being coverage 90% of the time when I'm there.

Work is frustrating.
Beer makes everything better.


Thursday, April 11, 2013

Spoiled

After looking at my surroundings and certain things in my past I've come (again) to the conclusion that I'm quite spoiled.  I'm not talking like a small child gets spoiled by multiple sets of grandparents (though I'll admit that I've had my fair share of that type of spoiling as well.  It happens when you're so bloody perfect like myself) but in a different way.  So, on my drive home tonight I tried to come up with some sort of theory as to how this happens to me.  It's a little rough and couple probably use some polish but here goes.

So in the normal scheme of things chicks see a hot guy and they're all like "I want to ravage him and have his babies."
But, being that I'm not quite your typical hot guy I think that a certain breed of woman looks at me and says: "oh, look at that belly, I want to cook for that guy.  I bet he'd really like my skills in the kitchen."

And thus (to use a quote that I hate) it is what it is.

I am currently very spoiled in the food department and it makes it quite hard to continue my weight loss road.  I've got a mother who is a great cook even though I tease her about a couple of mishaps in the kitchen that happened like 20 years ago.
I've got a lady in my life who is also a great cook.  Almost everything she has made I've loved and when we have a night in where she's going to cook I get excited about it.
And my lady's mom is also a great cook.  I don't remember the name of what I ate the last two days but dayam was it good.  Delicious.
And the great part about all of this is that none of the 3 really make the same things.  My momma makes things like Meatloaf and chicken and porkchops and whatever else but it's always good.
My lady makes Vegetable Soup (which I simply and absolutely love) and some really good rice based dishes.  Her mom cooks pretty much exclusively in Mexican cuisine and so far I haven't eaten anything that I haven't wanted to get fat eating more of.

Definitely NOT my mom's Meatloaf!
So, as I try to become increasingly skinny I've got 3 people cooking for me, spoiling me rotten and making things more difficult.  This is my big temptation at the moment and this is where I have to learn to exercise portion control.  I'll admit flat out that I have failed miserably this week with portion control.  But, one day at a time and one week at a time.  I'm still under 240 and I will not allow that to change.

The food spoiling thing is nothing new to me though.  I've been looking back over the last 10 years or so and see more of it.  This is not in reverse chronological order or anything but...

My last relationship (for all it's ups and downs and fights and whatnot) was also a great cook.  2nd favorite spaghetti sauce and oddly enough introduced me to an amazing meatless taco.  Her family also is full of great cooks as her brother makes AMAZING wings, salsa and some other stuff.  A grandfatherly figure makes great everything and even had a fish taco that I actually would eat more of if given the opportunity.

Going back further in the Way Back Machine is my college sweetie who might not have had the great talent that her family had (but in all fairness we lived on campus and really didn't have the opportunity to properly explore that side nor let her develop the talent).  However her mother and grandmother had a great flair for making damn delicious Italian food.  Her Nonnie made by far, hands down the best tasting spaghetti sauce that I will probably ever taste in my life time.  it was an old fashioned way of cooking it where you started on Monday, kept adding stuff to it during the week and slow cooking it and it was probably ready by the weekend.  Yes, the sauce actually took an entire week to cook but it was so worth it in the long run.  To this day I still get a craving for the sauce now and then.

Jumping ahead to more recent times, I have a great Blonde friend (with some details from a drunken adventure here)  Now I had known Melissa for quite a few years and she makes a most excellent drinking buddy but during one of her trips to Vegas I also discovered that not only does she have a love and thirst for Jaeger but she also can cook some mighty fine food.
I got to go over to her aunt and uncles place where she made some tasty tacos and an amazingly delicious dessert that she called something like heavenly fluffy cloud balls (listen, I can't remember the name of them but they were light and fluffy and lemon flavored and covered with powdered sugar and I wanted to eat like 300 of them).

And finally, to a mutual friend of mine and Melissa's and that is my favorite Red Head ever (not going to use her name because I didn't ask permission).  She was the manager of Hollywood Video when I ran the Game Crazy beside her.  This lady could cook.  In fact, I've got a lot of extra saliva right now just thinking about it.
I first discovered this talent of hers when she would bring some extra food that she prepared to work and let me have some.  Then one day she surprised me by making something just for me so that I could eat during the day.  This little something was a tri-tip steak sandwich which is one of the tastiest things I have ever put into my mouth.  She also brought along a broccoli salad with (I think) little dried cranberries in it, and even though I protested, when I finally ate it I thought it was the greatest salad I have ever day.
It's said that the best cook you'll ever have is your mom, so it's sacrilegious to say this but Red is by far the best cook I've ever tasted.
Er...
that makes it sound like I've tasted her.
Which - for the record - I have not.
Only her food.
Which is ALL amazing.
Every last bite.  Every recipe that I've encountered.
It's all great.

A life long of people who have all been willing to cook food for me and during the course of this life I've been blessed (spoiled) by being surrounded by people who are actually very very good at it.
Some people grow up and/or get into relationships with people who can't cook and I feel sorry for them. They are missing out on an important part of life, enjoying home cooked food.
Myself - I am currently surrounded by ladies who are great cooks and keep me fat and happy and I love them all for it.

So, from the bottom of my belly - Thank You!


Tuesday, April 09, 2013

Since Everyone Else is Doing it

The good news is that I have not had some weird Mexican prison 3-way nor have I slept in a closet since college, and really it wasn't truly sleeping in a college as that just happens to be where I drunkenly passed out in a pile of my dirty clothes as they were next to the closet.

Face down ass up, that's the way my drunk ass passes out (Some of you thought I was going elsewhere with that no?).

I'm about 25% of the way through Insomnia at this point.  I'm still not certain if I like or loathe how kindle uses this weird block system instead of a page system.  I can see that I'm 1648 out of 22450 blocks of the book done and my percentage is approximately 21%, but I sure as shit have no idea how this correlates into actual pages if I wanted to pick up the book and continue, unless I decided to do some mad algebra which I haven't touched in a cooooooo... almost made a racist joke.
Dog I love Racist jokes.....
sorry..
I digress

Either way, about a quarter of the way through Insomnia just reading a little bit before bed.  Yesterday I read before work, at work and then when I got home and I also put in a little time today before coming to type this crap out.
I'm not a fast reader by any means.  I also can't just grab a book and tare through it in one sitting.  My eyes get tired after a while and I get sleepy, I have to take breaks.

I'm enjoying the book so far even though it hasn't really gotten to the point.  Very slow developing at the beginning and there appears to be something with aura's and colors that is going to play a vital role in the last 50% or so.  Even with it being a bit slow I'm still really liking it.
I think my next book is going to be Carrie as they have a remake coming out and I want to watch that before I see the new movie.  I'll probably also force my Love to watch the original Carrie before we go see the new one.
I want to read one book a month for the rest of the year.  Give me a break from Comic's only and slow down the pace I was reading them and my new found massive addiction to them.
I have an addictive personality though so it's easy for me to get sucked into things.
Like blogging for instance.
Video games, Comic Books, Blue Rays, Steelbooks, Garbage Pail Kids, Magic: The Gathering, the list goes on.

I know this is redundant because everyone who reads me probably already reads the T to the B to the C, but he managed to get himself kicked out of Terrible's lol.  Also managed to slam a friend who has been nice to him for quite a while now.  Alienation.
All MGM properties, all Caesar's Properties, Treasure Island, Binions and 4 Queens and now Terrible's.
What's next? Hooters? Arizona Charlies? The Station Casinos?
By 2015 you will have no where in Vegas that accepts you.

This song started randomly going through my head in the shower.
This is from You Fat Bastards: Live at the Brixington Academy in 1991.

Monday, April 08, 2013

Ass Kicked - Need Relaxation

Ever have a stretch of time where your ass just gets thoroughly kicked from every direction?
Of course you have, we all have.

So, this is where I have been lately.

I've locked my keys in my car.
I've gotten my car towed.
I've had to rely on others to get me to and fro (and while I absolutely appreciate the help that I have gotten I sure as bloody hell hate having to rely on others to do things for me like getting me to work or taking me home. I feel like a total fucking failure - be that irrational or not).

Now at work I'm right to the point where coverage is going to suck again in Plumbing as my Full Time CSA is leaving and might be replaced with a part timer.
The problem here is that the part timer should have been hired and in training before the full time guy ever left but it won't happen that way.
So instead it'll probably be two weeks of rough coverage until the new guy is hired and then trained.
That is what they call good times right?

In my other department, the little department that just continually gets screwed over and forgotten - Electrical - I've got two full time guys and a part time guy. It was 2 part timers recently but one quit because of the work load.  The other guy has had issue after issue since coming on board and I think has been "off" more than he has been "on" and I fear that it's going to end up with the department with just 2 full time guys.
The 1st one who left was not replaced and there is no plan for replacement (why give me the guy if you are not going to replace him when he leaves? That makes no sense).
So, every day is a struggle there.

There, of course, is always some good as well.
My Love's aunt is in town visiting and I've been spending time over there.  I close tonight and tomorrow which sucks because her mom is making some food that I really like and has invited me over.  Maybe a really long lunch break is in order?
Weds we are taking her aunt to our favorite sushi place and then Friday she leaves.

I close Friday, Saturday and Sunday and then I have 7 straight days off.
I've already made a doctors appointment for Monday.
I'm hoping to set up an Eye doctors Appt for Tuesday or Weds.
I've only read 3 comics this entire month and hope to get in roughly 100 during my 7 days off.
I started reading Stephen King's Insomnia on the 1st, just a little bit before bed every night.  I'm about 10% in and enjoying it but waiting for the creepy.
I figure'd that with the amount of comics that I have been reading I should take a "before you burnout" break and get a book in.

So, I haven't been around much lately but I just haven't really felt like I had anything interesting to say (and some of you would point out that that is nothing new).

P.S. Marvel Currently owns my Soul.

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

One Hundred Thousand

Because I've been busy lately I just completely glanced over this and didn't announce it.

Because I've been making short posts lately I figure why not add another.

Words are for the weak, say what you want with pictures instead.

If I had a dollar for every "view" my blog has gotten I'd be f'n Rich!
I'd also accept a penny per view as well.


I did a Google Image search for 100000 tits and this is what came up (All of these are within the 1st 10 and that counts the porn entries as well)


The last one was for Rob

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Free Health Screening

Work had a free health screening today.

Other than being Fat pretty much everything came back good.
My Good cholesterol is a little low but everything else was well within the good range.

So, I'm fat but I'm healthy.
Go Me

Monday, April 01, 2013

Jokes on me

standing beside my car at 11:15 pm waiting for a locksmith since i decided to lock my keys in the car.

in the ignition.

still running.

good news is i have time to buy and down a sixpack before the guy gets here.

happy april fucking fools to me.


I am no April Fool

As things go it's time to get serious about my next progression towards my weight loss.
In my previous post (not linked here) I mentioned that I want to get down to 180 as my new permanent goal and the only way I'm going to actually achieve that is by hitting the gym and getting in the exercise that I proclaimed that I would in my New Years Revolutions!

Today I started off at 237 which means I've gained 4 pounds since since my Low of 233 but that In the past two weeks I've still lost almost a whole pound - which is progress!

Today for the first time this year I decided to hit the gym.  It's later in the year than I wanted to start but they always say better late than never right?  I pretty much plan on just using the elliptical at least for the first few months.  I should probably add in some free weights at some point to tone up a little bit but that's not on my agenda right now.

Elliptical will allow me to burn excess calories and improve my cardio, both important to a fat asthmatic!

I plan on going during my 2 days off every week and possibly in the morning on the nights that I work late.
This will allow me to get in 3-4 sessions a week.
I want to get to the point where I can easily put in an hour at a time as well.
I want to start trying to get back into push-ups 3 times a week and Sit-ups as well - but we'll see.
Maybe more motivation than I actually ave.


Today I went for nearly 25 minutes, got in 2 miles and burnt 392 calories.
This gave me an additional 7 Activity Points  for my weight watchers Tracking.

So, lets see if I can stick to the gym and lets see if I can actually track my points every day like I should be and make a difference on my waist line.