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Saturday, December 29, 2012

2013 New Years Resolutions

It’s that time again to think about everything I want to accomplish and put it in a viable list and publish it for the world to see.
Then, two weeks later, make sure everyone of these has been broken and never to be looked back at again....... or not.

But first, a preamble.

2012 was filled with a whole lot of trials and tribulations. Here I sit on the brink of 2013 feeling like I’m in a much better situation in every aspect of my life. I had some goals in 2012 that I wanted to accomplish but never did and I had some goals that I never verbalized and accomplished. Maybe there is something to be said about just keeping your mouth shut no? Whatever, that’s not my style yo.

So, before I look ahead to 2013 lets look back on 2012. Here are a list of my goals and what I did or did not accomplish.

#1 - Become Debt Free - This was a failure due to some extreme circumstances. Lets move this to 2013.
#2 - Grow a really radical Handle-Bar Mustache - FAIL - though I did have an impressive Fu-Man-Chu at one point.
#3 - Beat 24 Video games - FAILURE
#4 - Play more poker - FAILURE (I am sensing a pattern)
#5 - Read More - Actually I accomplished this.....weird
#6 - Blog More - More, yep, I blogged a shit load
#7 - Write a short story - FAILURE
#8 - Stop going bald - HAHAHAHA, I’m so funny
#9 - #9, #9, #9
#10 - Keep track of my Finances better - This fizzled out like a bad fart.


Oh goodness, I did horrible in 2012. And I find it interesting that the one thing I overwhelmingly succeeded at (losing weight) wasn’t even on my list. I thought I put that on my list every year and failed at it lol.
Whatever......
So - now that we have that out of the way lets get to the 10 things that I want to accomplish in 2013 (I was told that 10 is the absolute max you are to do for your revolutions by someone who is very cute and has a great influence over me).

(Drum Roll)

Numero Uno - Become Debt Free (excepting the house). Yes - this was number one on my list last year and it makes the list again. Other than staying white and not dying how can I possibly have another more important goal than financial freedom? I know that I don’t have far to go with this goal and as such there will be no problem eradicating my debt. I don’t have a firm date but I do want this to be done before Summer hits.

Number Dos XX - Keep Better track of my financials - This goes hand in hand with number 1. What better way to get out of debt than to meticulously track my debt and plan its demise? So, I’ve already started working on January’s budget and will hopefully hit up February and March as well so that I have a clear view of the first quarter of the year.

El Numbre Three - Lose Weight - HA, it makes it’s triumphant return. Weight Loss has been a “goal” of mine for over a decade and I never have what it takes to stick with it. The problem is that I go too hardcore into it and then just give up because potato chips taste good. And so does BBQ and Ice Cream and and and and and. You get the point. However, 2012 was a monumental accomplishment for me as I saw myself tip the scales at over 300 pounds and actually, for the first time ever, decided I really needed to do something about it. So, I set out with small goals to begin with and ended up changing the way I eat over the course of the year dropping about 50 pounds in the process. In 2013 I want to continue my progress and get down to 220 pounds which is about 30 pounds to go. This means I need to lose 2.5 pounds per month and that I’ll have to make a few more changes to my routine. (leading us to....)

Number 4 - Exercise more. You know it’s pretty much impossible to exercise less! I have come a long way through a change in my eating habits and now it’s time to take that next step. I am not going to over do it so for January my goal is going to be to add one day of hitting the gym per week into my weekly routine. I hope to do more but I want to guarantee myself one day per week to start.

Number 5 - Take an actual vacation - Like, pack some shit up and leave the f’n state vacation. This feels like a cheat putting it on here because I am planning one already, planning on heading back to the *cough* great *cough* state of Pennsylvania for a small tour of friends and loved ones. I also plan on bringing my lady and child along with me which will make this even more interesting. I’m trying to prepare a mental checklist of places to go and things to see that will be kid fun and kid friendly. I also believe that this means I’ll not be seeing Dr Dirty while I’m out there but that is a sacrifice that I am willing to make in order to bring the two newest loves of my life along with me and show them some areas where I am from/grew up.

Number 6 - Focus on building my retirement accounts. This one is painful to write out as I’m 36 years old and don’t have a whole hell of alot built up already. However, it is never too late to make a change and this is a big one that I need to and am going to make. This also goes hand in hand with getting out of debt as once the debt is gone I can put a huge focus on this with the extra money that I am no longer paying towards my unneeded debt. Dave Ramsey save me!

Number 7 - Beat 12 Video Games - Now for the “fun” portion of my list. As I am getting older and finding other things in my life that I enjoy doing my video game time has dwindled. I have a new lady in my life whom I find myself wanting to spend almost all of my free time with and I occasionally play some games with

Number 8 - Get out and do more - Enjoy life and live a little.  As others can attest, the past 3 or so years I have pretty much locked myself up and not done a whole hell of a lot.  I have played some poker and I have done some random things but I haven't gotten out and lived much.  Now that my debt is coming to an end I have this weird sense of freedom.  Trips to the park, trips to Mt Charleston, Trips to Red Rock (not the casino) and whatever else.  Leave the comfort of my house and enjoy life with those I love.

Number 9 - Read the ENTIRE series of The Amazing Spiderman - Yes, all 700+ Issues.  Adding in all of the point 1's and the annuals I'd estimate that there are roughly 750 issues to read and that breaks down to about 2.5 issues per day.  This will be no easy feat and I would benefit greatly by getting ahead of pace early so that I can take some time off around the middle of the year.  I'm pretty sure I'll suffer Spiderman Burnout at some point and give up on this goal as a 1 year thing but I'm curious to see how far I can get.

Number 10 - Open Mic Night - Of everything on my list this is the one that scares me shitless, FYI.  I'm meeting with Linda in the middle of January where I'm supposed to have about 5 minutes worth of material ready to go over with her and as of right now I don't feel like I have 5 minutes.  In fact, the best I have is just a bunch of dick jokes. Maybe a couple of fat jokes as well.  


So there you have it, 10 goals for 2013 and all are able to be achieved.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Happy Ho Ho Birthday

Between today and yesterday I know 4 people who have been or will be celebrating birthdays.  It's a time of year when people get ripped off of gifts because their special day occurs too close to this other over exposed and over commercialized holiday.

So, to my 3 Ho's - Happy Birthday.











Ho Number One
Dena, my favorite Christmas Jew and one of my favorite red heads (my momma be a red head so kinda gotta give that one to her) and by far my absolute favorite cook in the entire world.  The Chances of you reading this are pretty damned slim but whatever.  I miss you and hate that you no longer live in the land of sin but I get excited every time you visit and we get to spend an evening with some alcohol together to play catch up.  Thank you for being a friend (cue Golden Girls Theme) and cannot wait until our paths cross again.

Ho Number Two
Liz, my old high school and college chum and now my almost west coast chum. I get the distinct feeling that, in a very slow motion sort of way, you have just been following me around from a distance for the past decade or two :)
Everything works the way it does for a reason so keep your head up and keep on trucking. Whether you love them or hate them the holidays kinda suck so far away from your family so I'm sending you some Xmas and Birthday cheer to you on this particular day.  I hope Santa left you something big and (dare I say) vibrating under the tree this year.  You are the one (of 3) that will read this and as such I wanted to make sure I got in a bad sexual Joke.  Just like old times.

This made me LOL and has nothing to do with today.
Ho Number 3
Spank. Mr Sprankle.  Oh how I miss thee, let me count the ways.
I hope life is treating you well wherever you may be and that our paths cross again sometime in the future.  Of all the friendships that I have had over the course of my life this is the one that just sorta faded away with time and distance.
So merry fucking Xmas to you.
Lap Dances
Hookers
Ho's
And put some clothes on for Christ sakes, nobody wants to see that.


This was NOT under my tree :(
Ho
And last, but not least and a day late (online but not in person) Happy birthday to my mumsy.  Without you I wouldn't have what I have or be who I am.  I wouldn't be fat and full on a daily basis and I wouldn't be this totally awesome guy that everybody knows I am.
Ho Ho Ho to you even though I never got that hot Asian chick under the tree to unwrap for Xmas - You know, the same one I requested pretty much every year for a decade straight.
Whatever, guess I didn't need an Asian anyway.

To anyone else out there celebrating an unfortunate birthday and who gets ripped off present wise because of this horrible timing.
Now, as I have just found out, I have reached phase 3 of my life.  I'm really looking forward to Phase 4 even though I have a feeling I'm not going to be allowed to ever completely go through with it.

Ho Ho Ho
Merry Xmas



Saturday, December 22, 2012

Life is Beautiful

My favorite line in this whole song is "It's funny how love comes with so many lies"

I never was a huge fan of P.O.D. growing up and it was probably mostly that their songs deal a lot with religion and god and I personally find all of that stuff kind of boring.  However, the years have gone on and I don't judge nearly as much as I used to.  So, recently Amazon had a sale and this album was included in it and I enjoyed the one that was playing on the radio.  There are two songs that really caught my attention on my first listen and this was one of them.

Suicide and domestic violence are two touchy subjects to touch upon.  The latter having more of an effect on my thought process than the former.  However, I really dig this song and have been listening to it a couple of times a day on the way to and/or from work.

Christmas (Joan would be bloody happy I didn't abbreviate it Xmas this time) is literally right around the corner for me.  We are doing it tomorrow night and today I bought the last of my gifts.  Well, not 100% true since on Monday I have one more coming for my Old Man (see - I'm the son that keeps giving) and then have one more gift that will be bought/given on Weds that nobody knows about yet and nobody knows who it's for.  Oh I'm so sly.

Today I picked up the new Resident Evil Steelbook from Best Buy to go with the other Steelbooks that I have for the other movies and I also picked up Doctor Who Season 6 on Blu Ray for $19.99 (normally $74.99).  I now have Season 5 and 6 on Blu (both for that price at Best Buy right now) and I have Part One of Season 7 (which I really need to watch so I can start watching Part Two that airs really shortly).  Now I just have to start finding some of the older seasons cheaply.  I know I can just watch them all on Netflix and not have to worry about it but I do love me some physical copies of the things I really love.  It's a bad habit of mine.

I've flagged about 3 bazillion comic books and graphic novels that I really want to pick up over the course of the next year and the more I read the more I'm getting into other comics and story lines.  Today I started the Minimum Carnage story that spanned 6 issues and 3 separate comics (Carnage, Venom and Scarlet Spider).  This brings me to the fact that I'll probably have to read through Venom and Scarlet Spider and add those to my reading list.  My goal is to get caught up on the current Marvel Now comics and then start getting caught up on the DC New 52 comics that I know I like while starting to explore some others and see how I like them.
How can I afford all of this?  Well, I fucking can't.  Thank dog for piracy though.  I know that sounds horrible but whatever. I'm not above it.
In all fairness I will continue to support the talent that I really like with my hard earned money.  I'll treat this the same way I treat music which is I'll sample things and buy what I really like while ignoring the chaff.
And, in some instances that will be impossible.  For instance I really really really want to read through the entire Amazing Spiderman run during 2013 and this would be IMPOSSIBLE without piracy or a really large wallet.
Now, I suppose I could buy all the issues from Comixology but this still is not a viable solution. Issue #700 is going to be the last of the Amazing Spiderman run.  That means there are 700 issues plus all the ".1's" and the Annuals and.... you see where this is going.  It's probably closer to 750 issues.
Lets assume I can get all of them for $1.99 each - that's over $1500 that I'd have to spend to read the entire run.  That is just not going to happen as I don't like the webslinger that much.

This ass was better in person, FYI.

I guess someone was wrong

I went through my entire day without hearing this:




Thursday, December 20, 2012

My Fingers are Cold and my Mind is Dull

I've got a few posts recently that are all works in progress.  They sit here on my computer, hidden in my blogger, incomplete.  They will probably never be completed.  You see, my biggest problem is that if when I start writing something and I don't finish it I will probably never go back to it.  Every couple of months I go back and look at my incomplete works and determine if I even still give a shit about what I started to say and if not I hit the delete button.  Most of the time I just delete them all and start to look to the future again.

I only bother bringing this up because as of late I really just don't feel I have anything to say.  I know I have said this before but I think anger and depression bring out my creativity.  When I'm happy and content I don't have the same passion towards writing or creativity.  I'm driven by the darker side of reality.  I guess this really isn't a bad thing because me writing less means that I'm at a place in life where I'm pretty damned satisfied but at the same time I'd really like to continue to try and express a modicum of creativity.

My next two post will probably involve a look back and a look ahead.  It is that time of year again after all.  I know I came into 2012 with some goals and expectations and I think I probably ignored all of them for the most part.  However I will revisit the post (or postings) and see just how off I was.
Even with that said I feel that while 2012 started out as the worst year of my entire existence it surely is not ending that way and as such I cannot just throw out a blanket statement of "2012 sucked and I'm glad it's over."  The reality is that as everything winds down it became a year just like every other, a year with hi's and low's.  That's bullshit, I feel like I have been cheated out of a good curmudgeon story or 3 for when I'm old, wrinkled, crabby and decrepit.

Right now I am typing away and waiting for the impending disaster which, once again, will not happen.  One of my recent (non) posts was essentially a short story that I was going to tell over the course of 3-5 days about the end of the world, my preparation for it, my struggle during it and my eventual survival of it all.  The issue was that while I started it and thought I had a good idea I ended up leaving the house and not spending as much time in front of my computer as it was going to take to complete it.  That and the fact that when I was in front of my computer I just couldn't find the proper thoughts to finish out my narrative.
Maybe I'll come back to this shortly after the New Year begins and treat it like a look back instead of as a running diary.  Maybe I'll just hit delete and pretend that shit never happened.

Either way, it's 11:43 and I've only got approximately 17 more minutes until shit gets real and the end of the world beings (because I believe this happens concurrently with my time zone of course).
So, that means that I've got to get naked and spank the monkey real quick and spend the remaining 15 minutes on Facebook making stupid posts and pissing off the non-believers.


Monday, December 17, 2012

A Monday Ramble

Today's ramble is brought to you by Hobbitses everywhere.  Filthy, Dirty, Lying, Thieving Hobbitses.

I've got no real clue where this is headed but I know I haven't written in a minute (where did this phrase originate and why the hell am I using it now?).

Lets kick it off with Weight Loss

Over the last while my weight has been pretty stagnant, or so it seemed.  I've been bouncing back and forth between 254 and 248 on a daily basis with me never being able to actually take that step to push through and stay consistently below the 250 mark.  It was about 2 weeks ago that I finally hit 249 but the next day I was back to 251 or whatever.  So, with some happiness I'm here to say that it looks like I've finally gotten through that hurdle and am below 250.  For the past 5 or so days every time I have weighed myself I've been below and not above.  Now it's time to start making a push for 245!  When I fired up my Weight Watchers online tool and plugged in today's weight I was greeted with a graphic that showed me I have lost 8.2 pounds over the course of the last 3 months.  So, while I say I've been stagnant the reality of the situation is that I'm still losing and it's just slower than I'd like, than I'm used to.  I guess the fact that when I first started out on this journey and I was shedding pounds like crazy without much effort that I became a bit spoiled and when the weight loss slows to more normal levels I just fail to realize it's still happening.  However, that little graphic that shows me down 8.2 over the 3 month period is proof and BLAMMO I just gotta keep pushing.

This has been true for a number of weeks now but the Pittsburgh Steelers control their own destiny.  We, however, are not playing like a playoff team and even if we win out and get in it does not appear that we have what it takes to compete with the top 3 of the conference (Patriots, Texans, Broncos).  This is kind of an annoying statement to actually type because we have been so good for so long but we are back to playing Steelers football which means we can compete with the big boys but we are constantly getting disappointed by the teams we should be beating no matter what.  We had a 3 game stretch without our QB and we had a HUGE opportunity to seize the division even without him.  Our Defense was playing lights out but our offense and special teams hindered us.  First meeting against the Ravens we played well enough to win but we allowed a huge Punt Return Touchdown that sealed our fate.  Against the Browns our defense dominated enough to win the game but when the offense turns the ball over 8 times there is no coming back from that.  Then we actually beat the Ravens without our QB and things were looking up.  However, coming back from injury and a sputtering offense failed to do anything against the Chargers and constantly giving them the ball on our side of the 50 proved to be detrimental.  Now a loss to the Cowboys and for the first time we are actually looking in from the outside.  We can, however, still sneak into the playoffs if we can win out.  Most important game is next week against the Bengals because if we beat them we will have the same record but we will have the tiebreakers against them - giving us the last wild card spot.  This is good news but the problem is we have to put it together.  By my counts we have won one game out of our last 5 and now we have to win the next 6 straight to be crowned Super Bowl Champions.  Tall task ahead of us for a team that is not playing like a championship team on both sides of the ball.
By the way - Tony Romo was the 1st QB all season to throw for over 300 yards against our Defense.  Amazing.


I finally went out and saw The Hobbit last night and I'm quite happy with the movie.  It's nice to watch a movie set in this universe with a not-so-serious tone as the Lord of the Rings movies.  The movie didn't feel like it was as long as it actually was, it had great humor and a lot of nice action.  I have not read the books so I don't know if the books had as many one liners as the movie had or if that was all added in after the fact.  However, it wasn't overly campy that I was taken out of the experience but I did take notice when it just felt like a line shouldn't have been there (the Golf joke, the frying pan/fire joke, Gandalf slicing a guy who then stands in front of him like nothing happened until Gandalf gently nudges his head off with his staff....).  Overall I loved the movie and I will be seeing it again.
Once I get a more favorable schedule I'll have to find time to take the old man to see the movie because he's been in love with The Hobbit long before any of the Lord of the Rings movies ever came out.  I remember tales from my childhood where he talked about The Hobbit being one of the few (maybe the only) books he ever really read and loved.
The biggest gripe is going to be the fact that I've got to wait another 2 years to finish my tale as The Hobbit is going to be it's own separate trilogy.
LOTR was a big epic book divided into 3 movies.  The Hobbit was a much smaller work divided into 3 movies as well.  Next thing we know Peter Jackson is going to make 3 movies out of an extra 100 pages that was "discovered" while sifting through J.R.R. Tolkien's unfinished works, but it will be about an alternate ending where Frodo decided to give the One Ring back to Gollum.

I've started working out my goals for the new year and I really want to share them, however I'm still a couple of weeks too early for that crap so I've just got this list rambling through my head with no real rhyme or reason currently.  It's like I have some extra voices in my head who want to find a home, a home on my blog, but they are all lost because I refuse to type them out.  One is holding a sign saying "will joke for food."

I've been slacking off with my writing/blogging lately but I'd like to get to a point where I can churn out more quality over quantity.  Now that I'm no longer at a point in my life where the blog is acting as anti-depression medication I don't feel the urge to sit down and write every single day like before.  However, I think part of my absence this month is because of that damned Outlook catastrophe and I'm still in mourning for the loss of what I considered a great, well thought out and analytic post about a corporate entity who has parents by the balls :)

Has anyone else seen the Hobbit?
What did you think about it?
How are we feeling football wise?  Is Dallas going to sneak in? (I know I've got some Cowboy fans reading this)?  Is Washington going to take that division behind TWO Rookie QBs?
Does anyone want to face Seattle right now or is this overblown because of their opponents the last couple of weeks?
Does this blog make my ass look fat?

grrouch out

Friday, December 14, 2012

I hate Outlook

So, Yesterday I had this great post typed up about Chuck E Cheese and when I hit send (typed it at work and was emailing it to myself) Outlook crashed - the email was deleted (blank email saved in drafts) - nothing sent and nothing received.

Fuck Outlook!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Donte Stallworth

Just find this amusing.

Patriots, short on WR's, end up signing Donte Stallworth who hasn't really been a factor anywhere for a while I think.
His first game suited up he catches a 63 yard TD strike from Tom Brady.
He hurts himself on that play with a High Ankle Sprain and today was placed on the Injured Reserve list.

Pats resign Dion Branch for like the 3rd or 4th time this season alone.

Stallworth could have been a good story for the rest of the year but instead he's an asterisk.

Monday, December 10, 2012

It's NOT the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I don't care what the commercials say, blast, blare, constantly beat into our zombie like heads.  This time of the year sucks.
It's a horrible, horrible time of the year. It's the most degenerate time of the year.

This is the time of the year where, if you didn't prepare properly, you can go broke before you get a chance to have your morning Diet Mt Dew.  This is a wallet draining, agonizing experience year after year after year.

Normally I suffer from Seasonal Depression and as such I hate the holidays.
This has been the first holiday season in countless years where I haven't felt myself going through it.  Sure, there is a twinge of it here and there but this has been a mostly depression free season for me and for that I am thankful.
I attribute this to a number of factors.
1 - Having some stability in my life.
2 - Having my family close by.
3 - New relationship excitement
4 - I'm just that damned awesome yo

On to other things.

Yesterday in Football Sucked!
Royally, horribly, painfully sucked.
The Steelers played bad and looked worse. We had some big mistakes that really cost us in the long run of the game.  Antonio Brown trying to pick up a fumble in the endzone and then just allowing the Chargers to fall on it for an easy TD.  A couple of big dropped bombs from Wallace and Brown, all that could have sustained drives and turned into points but instead forced punts which lead to very short field position for the Chargers.
The Chargers won the battle of field position all game long and as a result they won the game.  Our defense played a hell of a game (expect that one 9 minute drive really) but you cannot expect a Defense to be on the field for as long as they were and not have a few breakdowns.  It was the Offense that didn't hold up it's end of the bargain and for once it was not the fault of the returning from an injury QB who actually looked pretty good overall.
The good news is that the Ravens dropped their second in a row and the Bengals caved at the last minute the the Cowboys.  A win here would have been amazing for the Steelers but at least we didn't lose ground and allow Cincy to sneak ahead of us for the last playoff spot that we are desperately clinging too.

I already bitched yesterday about how MOJO knows the secret to the universe and calmly put his money on Seattle this week to quite possibly lock up the winners spot barring any random mental breakdown in the last few weeks of the season.

I've been trying to call the utility company today to pay a bill but I keep getting "Service unavailable" today.  Kinda funny how much we rely on cell phones and don't know what to do the moment something goes wrong.  Whatever - there is always tomorrow.

I started reading Action Comics from the New 52 and I'm going to admit that I think I just find Superman to be boring.  Nothing about the 1st 6 or so issues thus far has really grabbed me and compelled me to keep going.  However, recently, I have read through I, Vampire and the new TMNT comics and absolutely love them.  Turtles > Superman


Sunday, December 09, 2012

The Great and Almighty MoJo

MOJO is a ringer.
He is a scam artist who has knowledge of the future.
He might have actually borrowed a Delorian and rode shotgun with Biff a few decades back just to take advantage of this one situation.

Everyone must rise up and revolt against this evil man before he harms us all.

I bow in your presence, overlord.




Thursday, December 06, 2012

Twilight: Breaking Wind Fart 2

I've never watched a single Twilight movie before nor have I ever read any of the books.
I know that there were teams of Edward and Jacob because I saw the book bags and listened to little girls talk. I also knew that there was this psychotic high school chick whose only goal in life was to bang the ugliest 500 year old undead bastard I have ever seen (I am guessing on his age honestly).

I heard the books were poorly written and that twilight really just boiled down to one long fucking romance novel that just happened to have poorly written and sparkling vampires.
I have judged everything based on very select information that I received NOT from the actual product and after seeing the movie I'm pretty fucking happy with my original thoughts.

Evidently in this universe Vampires can exist in the sunlight (as it was daylight quite a bit during this movie and they were all outside and shit) and have very random powers just to spice shit up.
One vamp can make you go blind temporarily, one amazonian vamp can basically replicate LSD and force you to trip by making you visualize anything that she wants you to.  This could actually be the best power of them all because if you piss her off, during sex she could make you picture that you're banging some really ugly broad like Oprah or Sally Jessie Raphael and shit.
Then there are Vamps that can control the elements, one that is her own personal stun gun and some creepy dude that makes black mist to paralyze you.
When the hell did Vampires NEED extra abilities to be cool?  They just kill, murder, lurk in the dark, turn people and drink lots of blood.  It is not necessary to have extra abilities.

Also - why the fuck are the werewolves consorting and being friendly with the Vamps.  I don't get it and never will (won't watch the other movies) but it appears to me that Ugly Vamp and hunky Wolf both wanted to fuck the same girl, Vamp won but wolfie now is playing friendly for whatever reason.

Speaking of fucking the high school chick - WTF.

Question - if Vampires are not technically living and their blood does NOT FLOW then how does Ugly Vampire get and maintain an erection?
How does he ejaculate?
How does his DEAD sperm knock up a living being?

Anyways.



It took me at least 15-20 minutes before I could just let myself relax enough to get into the movie and try to enjoy it for what it is - and that is a crappy romance movie with some action subplots.
The opening scenes are post transformation of Bella (the High School Broad) as she copes and adapts to her new Vampire state of un-dead.
I guess the big romantic line was "We're the same temperature now."
*weep*

They make this girl out to be horribly extraordinary but do it in a pretty shitty way.
She was supposed to feed on a deer - but she smelt human blood and rushed off to murder the guy and drink him dry.
However, once she got there she suddenly developed the good sense to ignore her craving and go hunt more wild life instead.  It felt really unnatural.

Then there is the scene with Charlie (I think Bella's father) who thought she was sick and appeared to have no clue about anything supernatural at all.
So Wolfie goes and has a talk with him to let him know that his daughter is all fine and dandy but there have been some changes and to show him this he slowly strips down to his tighty whities (this obviously was for the girls) and then transforms into a big fucking wolf - then as Charlie is backing up and probably shitting himself he lays down near his feet and whimpers.
I don't get the whimper - is that the only way we can show that he's not dangerous?
Next thing you know Charlie is coming over to visit his daughter all perfectly fine that he just saw someone transform into a beast.  It all felt forced and shitty (again).

There are other instances where things feel really forced, as if someone was writing a bad romance novel and just interjecting other shit into it (and that's pretty much what this movie/book was from my understanding).
Based on the fact that I've heard the movies followed the books very painstakingly and painfully close I am left to come to the conclusion that the books are poorly written and that's why the movies felt very forced and incomplete at times.

The movie in general was lame, it was boring.  However, as the end approached the action scenes made up for a good deal of it and I was really getting into it - especially the huge fight scene at the end.
I was excited as what looked like very integral plot characters were being killed off in one final (not so bloody) battle between what I assume is good vs evil and the ones left standing would be the ones to carry on tradition and whatever.

Then it happened.
IT .... IT fucking happened.

Stephanie Meyer has no backbone. She has no balls. She teases you with something that could have been really awesome and set up the follow up books/movies (I'm sure eventually there will be) with a Great War that could have been passed on from vampierial generation to generation.  It was mammoth.
Then, in what was probably one really poorly written sentence she wiped out everything that was fucking cool about the movie (book, whatever) and said "Fuck you, this never happened, put your dick away silly boy" and ruined everything for me.

I am so pissed about the way the final battle played out, or in reality never even bothered to play out.
The movie made it out like there was a big struggle between what essentially was good and evil.
It led up to this one mammoth final conflict between good and evil.  One big showdown like all good action movies do.
Then, Instead of an actual battle to change the history of Vampire-Kind the Evil side said "Well, lets just not do this and instead go our separate ways and continue to hate each other from afar."

I want to puke.

Oh, and before I end this and forget.
What the fuck is up with the Half Vampire/Half human concoction which I guess can be fueled by either blood or steak and potatoes?
I mean, seriously.  You take the time to invent this half breed Vamp that is Human AND Immortal and can eat, piss, shit, bleed and whatever else and go nowhere with it.

I went into this movie thinking I was going to hate it but gave it a chance.
I tried to enjoy it for what it was and up until the final "battle" that never happened I didn't find myself trying to plot ways to run to the exit.
The final battle ruined everything for me and I curse the existence of the series of books.

Also, leaving the theater the little lady asks me how I liked it and I made some remark that I don't remember.
She then proceeds to tell me "Well, it was better than Lord of the Rings"

And so I fucking shot her, then ran her over with my car for good measure.

The End
P.S. - looking for a new girlfriend, one with sensible taste in movies.


Wednesday, December 05, 2012

Twilight

I have a lot more that I want to type up for my movie "review" but I really wanted to put this out there before I decided to go to sleep.

1st - I have not watched any of the previous movies nor have I read any of the books.
2nd - I went into this movie expecting to hate it and hopefully forget about it.
3rd - I wish the Frog brothers would have shown up and murdered the entire lot of them.

Without giving anything away at this point.
The big battle scene at the end teased me and then completely pissed me off.
Stephanie Meyer has absolutely no backbone.
Fuck you for what you did.
Twilight Sucks and I hate what you did.,


more later, but alas I Must Sleep Immediately

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Date Night

Tonight has been in the works for quite some time, at least in my mind.
Months ago when I started planning it I had no idea if we would be dating at the time or if I was just going to be a super nice guy and have this special evening out for her birthday and hope it was properly appreciated.
However, as tends to happen with me, things have worked out wonderfully and tonight was an amazing date night.

She knew that I was going to be taking her out but had no idea where. She attempted to get some information out of me to no avail and a few of her friends also asked me a question or two which I promptly ignored.  The secret was kept safe and all she knew was that it was going to be a damned fine meal and I was going to be dressed up all pretty and shit.

I showed up to her place a few hours early so that I could help the kid with his homework and what not. I dressed like my normal bum self but brought a change of clothes along with me.  I made sure to wear a few things that would really give her pause.  Like semi dress pants with black shoes and white socks... man does she really really hate the white socks lol :)
I also wore a T-shirt when I know she would rather I dress with a button down shirt with a color because they look nicer.  Whatever, once it became time I jumped into the bathroom and Superman'd myself into pimp mode and was looking mighty fine if I do say so myself.

The great part was she came out of her room with her hair done up, a minor amount of make-up on and dressed in a gorgeous dress and looking beautiful.  I knew this evening was going to be wonderful.

After dropping the kid off at her parents house so they could baby sit for a few hours she started to take in the other big thing that I did to make the evening nice for her - I got my car detailed.
Inside and out.
Her first comment was that it looked like a completely different car (from the outside) because the cleaning actually changed the cars color a bit.

Now, this is where I tell you all that this is a 2005 car that I bought in January of 2006 and I have NEVER once washed it.  I know that this is probably sacrilegious to some but whatever.  When I lived in PA I relied on the rain and snow to take off the dirt.  Here in Vegas I figure'd that if I washed it then a dust storm would blow through 20 minutes later to just dirty the thing back up again.  Whatever, my bad.

Today was different though, I was going the whole 9 yards to impress.  My car was cleaned and hand-waxed on the outside and on the inside it was swept, shampooed and every surface was wiped down to make it look new again.  No garbage anywhere, the floors are clean and the seats look nearly new.  Quite honestly the damned thing impressed the shit out of me.  I really like it and think I'm probably going to get this done once per year (or 6 months depending on how I feel).  It really had a new car feel about it all day long and while I was impressed it was her reaction that really sealed the deal.  Huge smile and surprise and big brownie points for the grrouch.

Once we got to the restaurant we were greeted and she was promptly handed a beautiful long stemmed rose as we were headed to our seats.  I ordered a 10 oz Filet and she ordered the Queen Mary's lobster or something like that.
My menu item had a price listed under it, her menu item had Market Price listed under it which gave me a minor stroke but I did my best to ignore it figuring the damage couldn't have been too bad, right?
After our orders were place we had a gentleman with a cart come over to us and had toss our salads right in front of us giving us full choice of what to put in it.  She had a whole bunch of random stuff that sounded disgusting like Tomatoes and Onions and I stuck to the simple pleasures in life like cheese, shrimp, dressing and more cheese.  Either way, it was divine and tasty at that.

The main course showed up and my 10 oz steak that I was thinking was going to be entirely too small looked absolutely huge.  It's as if they found a way to make it appear bigger than it should have been.
Dinner was amazing and I actually couldn't finish my whole plate between the steak, potatoes and fresh vegetables.  After that they brought out the desert which was Chocolate covered Strawberries, Apricots and Fig.  2 of the 3 were delicious and the last one was just iffy to me, however the lady liked the fig so I guess it served it's purpose.

After that while waiting for the check they surprised us by bringing out a free birthday desert for the lady which was a chocolate mousse which was heavenly.  As full as we both were we continued to stuff it into our mouths until it was completely gone because it just tasted that good.

The entire night was a smashing success.
Now I have to start planning on how to top it next year as I don't think a meal at Denny's is going to cut it for her next birthday!


Saturday, December 01, 2012

BCP Changing networks

If you go to Black Chip Pokers Facebook page (because social media has fucking taken over the world) you'll see that they are switching networks.  This change is happening December 3rd and they will be leaving Merge behind for Winning Poker Network (WPN) which supposedly is more cash-out friendly for U.S. Players.
Rakeback will carry over to the new network, but the software will change and based off what I have been reading while briefly searching the net WPN has worse software than Merge.  I guess I will find out soon enough.
I haven't begun to look into the availability of games on WPN yet because I'll be able to see first hand when the time comes and I suppose that ultimately this will be the deciding factor in if I decide to stick with WPN or if I jump through the hoops to cash out and then redeposit into another Merge network site or not.

In all honesty I was just starting to get excited about following along with fellow blogger FlushDraw as he also happens to be playing the same games with me on the Merge network - and now this rivalry will be no longer.  The one negative reported by Flushdraw is that Merge rarely has any 10NL games going and that does make it a bit difficult in being able to move up and play.  If there are barely any 10NL games then I'm sure higher up is just as barren (though this is really putting the horse ahead of the kickings).

I won't be playing any games tonight or tomorrow but on Monday I'll download the update and see what I think of everything.