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Wednesday, January 01, 2014

Santa is an Asshole

The few months leading up to this incident were filled with turmoil.
There was a lot of getting in trouble in school.
There was a lot of fighting with other kids and back talking the teachers.

So, I was planning a little "lesson" to be learned for Xmas in the form of Coal.
Yes, we have all heard the old stories about bad kids who get coal for Xmas but I've only ever known of one incident where someone received some and that was back when I was just a wee lad.  

So, my plan was to get my boy some of the stuff that he wanted but to make sure that the first thing he opened up was his coal from Santa.

Knowing that the only thing he really cares for right now is Wrestling in any form myself and my parents bought him exactly what he had been asking for over the past few months.
We had him two wrestling rings and one of them folded up to be a briefcase representing The Money in The Bank which he absolutely loves.

I put a lot of thought into getting him the gifts and made sure to get him a bunch of his favorite wrestlers as well.

So, the week before Xmas he starts telling me that his sperm donor was going to be buying him The Money in the Bank.  He told me he was going to ask him to get it for him.
I explained to him that he had already asked me and my parents for it and he should just be patient and see what he is getting and he agree'd, initially.

Then, two days before he told me once again that he was going to ask his sperm donor for it.  I explained to him that it was very rude to ask me and my family to get him a gift and then at the last minute asking someone else to buy him the exact same thing.  He needed to just wait and see if he got what he wanted and if not then he could hit up his sperm donor for it instead.

So, quite to my annoyance, the day before we are doing Xmas at my house his waste of life old man picks him up and takes him to Toys-R-Us where he buys him the wrestling ring and multiple wrestlers, completely ruining the gift that I had been working on over the past few months.

The good news is that everything my parents and I had bought for Xmas ended up getting donated to the Air Force base so that some other kids who might appreciate it ended up getting something good and cool for the holidays.

The bad news is this left us without a whole lot to actually give him.  Xmas at my house consisted of him getting a Deadpool T-shirt from me and a few other shirts from my parents.

The next day, Xmas Eve, they always do their Xmas at her parents house.  This is when Santa's present made its way to his hands.  My mom asked that I get video footage of it so she could see his reaction.


After the video ended he stormed outside where his mom followed him to talk to him.
She explained to him that bad boys who start fights and keep getting in trouble in school are not going to get toys from Santa but are going to get Coal instead and this is what happened to him.
His response: "Santa is an Asshole"


1 comment:

  1. i agree fuck santa claus. i was good all year and i didnt get my threesome with lisa ann and eden 38dd. WTF. but now rec weed is legal in colorado but santa didnt have anything to do with that

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