Santa is an Asshole

The few months leading up to this incident were filled with turmoil.

There was a lot of getting in trouble in school.

There was a lot of fighting with other kids and back talking the teachers.

So, I was planning a little "lesson" to be learned for Xmas in the form of Coal.

Yes, we have all heard the old stories about bad kids who get coal for Xmas but I've only ever known of one incident where someone received some and that was back when I was just a wee lad.  

So, my plan was to get my boy some of the stuff that he wanted but to make sure that the first thing he opened up was his coal from Santa.

Knowing that the only thing he really cares for right now is Wrestling in any form myself and my parents bought him exactly what he had been asking for over the past few months.

We had him two wrestling rings and one of them folded up to be a briefcase representing The Money in The Bank which he absolutely loves.

I put a lot of thought into getting him the gifts and made sure to get him a bunch of his favorite wrestlers as well.

So, the week before Xmas he starts telling me that his sperm donor was going to be buying him The Money in the Bank.  He told me he was going to ask him to get it for him.

I explained to him that he had already asked me and my parents for it and he should just be patient and see what he is getting and he agree'd, initially.

Then, two days before he told me once again that he was going to ask his sperm donor for it.  I explained to him that it was very rude to ask me and my family to get him a gift and then at the last minute asking someone else to buy him the exact same thing.  He needed to just wait and see if he got what he wanted and if not then he could hit up his sperm donor for it instead.

So, quite to my annoyance, the day before we are doing Xmas at my house his waste of life old man picks him up and takes him to Toys-R-Us where he buys him the wrestling ring and multiple wrestlers, completely ruining the gift that I had been working on over the past few months.

The good news is that everything my parents and I had bought for Xmas ended up getting donated to the Air Force base so that some other kids who might appreciate it ended up getting something good and cool for the holidays.

The bad news is this left us without a whole lot to actually give him.  Xmas at my house consisted of him getting a Deadpool T-shirt from me and a few other shirts from my parents.

The next day, Xmas Eve, they always do their Xmas at her parents house.  This is when Santa's present made its way to his hands.  My mom asked that I get video footage of it so she could see his reaction.

After the video ended he stormed outside where his mom followed him to talk to him.

She explained to him that bad boys who start fights and keep getting in trouble in school are not going to get toys from Santa but are going to get Coal instead and this is what happened to him.

His response: "Santa is an Asshole"

merry xmas

Just a collection of xmas photos since I don't like to type out posts on my phone.

My recent life in pictures (and a few words)

Oh, where to start.  This all might not be in order and there might not be a lot of content but I love my family and I'm using this as an excuse to show them off.

Recently we went to the mountains to go sledding.  Well, to watch our child go sledding in reality because I'm too old and that's just not fun for a fat aging asthmatic (though I did go down once).
I did not dress warm enough either.

Not a lot of pics but a before and after of my lovely fiance who transformed from an Eskimo to an Ewok within 30 minutes.

My phone added effects on it's own!

We all ended up shopping recently to purchase a shirt.  We had our boy, her sisters boy and her brothers boy all together at the same time and they wanted to do some posing.  The following is the results.  Notice how we have almost every color of the rainbow with us :)

We went to Ethel M's in Henderson to view the Cactus Garden while it was all lit up with Xmas lights.
We went last year and will probably continue to make this a family tradition as it really does look lovely late at night all lit up, even if it's chilly.

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We ended up having someone ask us to take their picture and in return they would take ours as well.  Two out of the 3 that they took turned out good - the last - not so much.

And some Video

Today was day 2 of inventory - on my way home I had to pick up some prescriptions and I thought I'd treat myself to a relaxing adult beverage!

All I want for Xmas

It's funny, in the past few weeks I've had a few customers snap at me because I wished them a "Happy Holidays" where as they want me to say Merry Xmas instead.
Shit, Xmas was still a month away the first time I said it - how about people stop being so f'n sensitive and just accept some joy instead of sucking it all away with their closed minded beliefs?

Today I came home and, for the first time, did a routine from Jillian Michaels.  My love seems to like her and she is a great personality on the Fat Person show she is part of.  On Xbox fitness her first workout of (30 day shred or something like that) is free and then you need to pony up a little bit of money to unlock all of it.  I'm cool with doing the free one for a week and seeing what I think about stepping up my game afterwards.

Lets just say that my ass was thoroughly kicked.  I feel like I did OK for my first time through it and my "score" was good. (lets face it, this is part of a Video Game system and we are in a golden age of Video Games so of course there are going to be scores and rankings and stuff.)  I wasn't perfect and I have a lot of room for improvement especially with certain exercises.  There were several cardio exercises where I just flat out had to quit for about half of the workout because I couldn't breathe but I pushed myself as far as I could.   There were several exercises where I was trying and I barely scored anything because what I was doing was not enough to even register as actual physical exercise.   Oh Jillian, I'm still exhausted an hour later and want to nap (but I need to get my tush in gear and get ready for work).

I'm going to do this routine one more time over the weekend and get some other exercise in on the other day, probably just cardio, as next week is going to be Inventory week which means 12 hour days and I'll be too tired to actually get exercise in before or after work.

Baby Steps.

In recreational news I am still playing Diablo 3 and started playing Grand Theft Auto 5 finally.  About 6 hours into it and enjoying it much better than 4 which I stopped after less than 10 hours of play.  Still doing a little bit of Knack on the PS4 now and then as well as I debate whether or not I want to bother trying to platinum it or not.
I'm also playing Paper Mario Sticker Stars on the 3DS.  So, most of my systems have some sort of game that I'm progressing in.  Maybe after the holidays I'll be able to set up a schedule where I can play once or twice per week regularly instead of just on random occasions.
Biggest problem is cannot play games like GTA5 anytime the child is around because .... well... because that game is just nasty in both content and language.

Now, to put some clothes on and get some caffeine in me so that I can function at work before my weekend off.  Oh, inventory week is going to suck like always.

Happy Ho Ho Birthday

Between today and yesterday I know 4 people who have been or will be celebrating birthdays.  It's a time of year when people get ripped off of gifts because their special day occurs too close to this other over exposed and over commercialized holiday.

So, to my 3 Ho's - Happy Birthday.

Ho Number One

Dena, my favorite Christmas Jew and one of my favorite red heads (my momma be a red head so kinda gotta give that one to her) and by far my absolute favorite cook in the entire world.  The Chances of you reading this are pretty damned slim but whatever.  I miss you and hate that you no longer live in the land of sin but I get excited every time you visit and we get to spend an evening with some alcohol together to play catch up.  Thank you for being a friend (cue Golden Girls Theme) and cannot wait until our paths cross again.

Ho Number Two

Liz, my old high school and college chum and now my almost west coast chum. I get the distinct feeling that, in a very slow motion sort of way, you have just been following me around from a distance for the past decade or two :)
Everything works the way it does for a reason so keep your head up and keep on trucking. Whether you love them or hate them the holidays kinda suck so far away from your family so I'm sending you some Xmas and Birthday cheer to you on this particular day.  I hope Santa left you something big and (dare I say) vibrating under the tree this year.  You are the one (of 3) that will read this and as such I wanted to make sure I got in a bad sexual Joke.  Just like old times.

This made me LOL and has nothing to do with today.

Ho Number 3

Spank. Mr Sprankle.  Oh how I miss thee, let me count the ways.
I hope life is treating you well wherever you may be and that our paths cross again sometime in the future.  Of all the friendships that I have had over the course of my life this is the one that just sorta faded away with time and distance.
So merry fucking Xmas to you.
Lap Dances
Hookers
Ho's
And put some clothes on for Christ sakes, nobody wants to see that.

This was NOT under my tree :(

Ho

And last, but not least and a day late (online but not in person) Happy birthday to my mumsy.  Without you I wouldn't have what I have or be who I am.  I wouldn't be fat and full on a daily basis and I wouldn't be this totally awesome guy that everybody knows I am.
Ho Ho Ho to you even though I never got that hot Asian chick under the tree to unwrap for Xmas - You know, the same one I requested pretty much every year for a decade straight.
Whatever, guess I didn't need an Asian anyway.

To anyone else out there celebrating an unfortunate birthday and who gets ripped off present wise because of this horrible timing.
Now, as I have just found out, I have reached phase 3 of my life.  I'm really looking forward to Phase 4 even though I have a feeling I'm not going to be allowed to ever completely go through with it.

Ho Ho Ho
Merry Xmas

It's NOT the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I don't care what the commercials say, blast, blare, constantly beat into our zombie like heads.  This time of the year sucks.
It's a horrible, horrible time of the year. It's the most degenerate time of the year.

This is the time of the year where, if you didn't prepare properly, you can go broke before you get a chance to have your morning Diet Mt Dew.  This is a wallet draining, agonizing experience year after year after year.

Normally I suffer from Seasonal Depression and as such I hate the holidays.
This has been the first holiday season in countless years where I haven't felt myself going through it.  Sure, there is a twinge of it here and there but this has been a mostly depression free season for me and for that I am thankful.
I attribute this to a number of factors.
1 - Having some stability in my life.
2 - Having my family close by.
3 - New relationship excitement
4 - I'm just that damned awesome yo

On to other things.

Yesterday in Football Sucked!
Royally, horribly, painfully sucked.
The Steelers played bad and looked worse. We had some big mistakes that really cost us in the long run of the game.  Antonio Brown trying to pick up a fumble in the endzone and then just allowing the Chargers to fall on it for an easy TD.  A couple of big dropped bombs from Wallace and Brown, all that could have sustained drives and turned into points but instead forced punts which lead to very short field position for the Chargers.
The Chargers won the battle of field position all game long and as a result they won the game.  Our defense played a hell of a game (expect that one 9 minute drive really) but you cannot expect a Defense to be on the field for as long as they were and not have a few breakdowns.  It was the Offense that didn't hold up it's end of the bargain and for once it was not the fault of the returning from an injury QB who actually looked pretty good overall.
The good news is that the Ravens dropped their second in a row and the Bengals caved at the last minute the the Cowboys.  A win here would have been amazing for the Steelers but at least we didn't lose ground and allow Cincy to sneak ahead of us for the last playoff spot that we are desperately clinging too.

I already bitched yesterday about how MOJO knows the secret to the universe and calmly put his money on Seattle this week to quite possibly lock up the winners spot barring any random mental breakdown in the last few weeks of the season.

I've been trying to call the utility company today to pay a bill but I keep getting "Service unavailable" today.  Kinda funny how much we rely on cell phones and don't know what to do the moment something goes wrong.  Whatever - there is always tomorrow.

I started reading Action Comics from the New 52 and I'm going to admit that I think I just find Superman to be boring.  Nothing about the 1st 6 or so issues thus far has really grabbed me and compelled me to keep going.  However, recently, I have read through I, Vampire and the new TMNT comics and absolutely love them.  Turtles > Superman