Movies

It's been a while since I have seen any movies and then just recently I have seen a bunch off them.

Starting of with Monsters University which was simply amazing and held up to everything I had hoped it would be.  The only thing it was missing was an emotional tie like Boo (from the previous movie) but it honestly didn't need it.  It was a fun mad-cap ride through college life and reminded me a lot of Revenge of the Nerds and that is never a bad thing.

World War Z - I knew this movie was going to be nothing like the book and that helped me to lower my expectations and enjoy it.  It was a fun action/zombie flick that satisfied my desire to see dead things deader.

Despicable Me 2 - Another great score for the animated department.  I'll have to re-watch the 1st to see if this was as good or better but the whole thing was enjoyable.  Unlike Monsters University this kept the 3 little girls (specifically Agnes) to keep Gru in check and add that emotional support to the fun and excitement of the movie.  it also introduced a love interest to keep Gru in check.  The main bad guy in this movie was quite enjoyable as well.

Pacific Rim - Sometimes you go into a movie with really low expectations and this was one of those times.  I went with a group of guys from work and they told me it was a movie about giant robots and monsters and I decided that I'd go and just hope I could find some enjoyment out of it.  When I left the theater I was quite satisfied with the mix of action and comedy and how the movie didn't take itself too seriously.  I could have done without them trying to add in the emotional BS mostly towards the end because lets face it - When you have a movie about Giant Monsters and Giant Robots fighting each other you aren't going to get a lot of chicks going to the movies to see it.  If you do get some they sure as shit aren't looking for romantic sparks to keep them tied to the movie/plot/cast/whatever.  No, they are going there because they want to see big set pieces, action scenes and destruction.  Also, Ron Pearlman!

Preview for The Wolverine looks good and there are a lot of movies I want to catch before this season is over.
Turbo, Airplanes (or whatever the movie by Pixar is called), Man of Steel, The Wolverine, R.I.P.D., and a few others that I can't think of.
For the first time in a few years I'm looking forward to the Summer Movie Season!

I'll hopefully be writing up some sort of poker session review shortly.
Unless I decide that I need to head out and play some more poker.....

Ted the Movie

For a movie that I really had high expectations for and have been clamoring to see since it came out in theaters but have been unable to watch due to the fact that it would be mildly (understatement) inappropriate to watch with a 7 year old, I would like to make the statement that I was very disappointed.
In fact, disappointed is also an understatement.  If I had to give Ted a rating I would give it two fingers up. Two middle fingers up.  Two middle fingers way fucking up in a sign of protest.

Ted.  You had an amusing premise.  You had a cast I could get behind.  You had a creative team whom I enjoy and feel is full of brilliance   You even had some good lines in the movie, but over all you get two rip roaring disappointed middle fingers in a salute.

The best thing I can say about Ted was that I paid nothing for the movie.  It came via a free RedBox rental.

In the 1 hour and 47 minutes that the movie ran these were my favorite parts.
Note - I did not watch for the entire 1 hour and 47 minutes.

The Garfield gag.

Lori: "There's a shit on my floor....."
Ted "Yeah, we were playing Truth or Dare and Charene was pretty ballsy."

Frank: "You had sexual intercourse with a co-worker on top of the produce that we sell to the public?"
Ted: "Last week i fucked her with a parsnip and later sold the parsnip to a family with four small children"

Maybe my expectations were too high.
Maybe i was expecting more than just an hour and a half of "too dirty for Family Guy" material.
I don't know.
Either way - ugh - fuck - I wish this movie was better.
I'm going to go watch Bad Santa to wash the dirty taste out of my mouth and get some sleep.

Spiderman 3 - Years later

I know that earlier this year I may have complained a little bit about rebooting series so close to when they actually came out.  Spiderman may or may not have been mentioned specifically.

After being forced to sit through most of Spiderman 3 again today I want to retract anything I may have said in the past and go with "Thank god this series got rebooted."
It's not that I don't love Sam Rami and what he did with the series.  I thought the 1st movie was well done and the 2nd was pretty badass as well.  Maybe I'll think differently when I go back and re-watch them both next year and maybe I won't.  What is important is that I came to talk about Spiderman 3 a bit.

I totally get why they decided to do a reboot instead of continue with anything involving that last trilogy and it's because Spiderman 3 was a steaming pile of pigeon excrement.  I don't know where Rami got off the track.  Maybe he started drinking heavily and had some bad delusions   Maybe he stopped drinking heavily and it ruined his MoJo.  I don't know what the problem is.  What I do know is that Spiderman 3 is fucking awful and painful to watch.  I think it's akin to going out to dinner and ordering your favorite meal.  It shows up and you are digging the scents and then you pull the cover off of your mashed potatoes.  Well, what is supposed to be your mashed potatoes, but instead it's a steaming pile of cow shit with garlic and parsley.

I own the Blue Ray of Spiderman 3 but only because it was given to me by a "friend."  Some friend.
In fact, it's the only one of the Spidey movies that I actually own.  Today was the first day that it has ever "graced" my Blue Ray player and will probably be the last time as well.  I watched the movie when it came out and remember bitching about that little prissy emo bastard and the shitty acting.  I also distinctly remember really hating the ending of it.
So, if I remember correctly (I shut it off long before it got to this point again) the ending went something like this.
"I'm the Green Goblins kid and I want to fucking Kill Peter Parker because that asshole killed my dad"
"Peter Parker isn't a bad guy, he's your friend"
"Oh shit, you are right, How about I go save his life instead and then we can live happily ever after while giving it to each other in the rears with reach around's"
"That's the spirit."