Friday, November 08, 2013

Dirty Old Man

Today I decided to be a nice guy and offer to help out one of my associates with loading some product for these two ladies.  One of them was probably the mother and the other the daughter that I placed to be somewhere around the 18 year old range.

During our help I heard talk about her father and say that he was old at 40 and that he got offended that she thought he was forty because he really is only 38 and all I could think was "fuck, I'm the same age as this guy and I'm oggling his daughter right now."

During the load we had two heavy muscle racks to load into the back of their soccer mom van.  While we were doing this the daughter decided that it would be a great time to strap two younger children into their child seats in the back of the van.

She did this by climbing fully into the van and standing up/bending over where I got way more of a view down her shirt than I was expecting.

I'm quite sure she was doing it on purpose. I am, after-all, a pretty sexy beast.
It's the gray hairs and the bulbous nose.

This is pretty much what I was looking at minus the baseball glove and weird headset.
It wasn't until after this that I overheard the conversation about her "old" father that I pieced together that she was probably about 16 or so and really started to feel like a dirty old man.

My other customer interaction occurred the day before when I was talking with two or three other guys near the hardware desk.
The one guy was talking about how poor he was and that he was going to have to turn to stripping to make a living.  I interjected that I would make a great stripper.
He looked at me and said "I know you've been losing weight and all but I don't think you are quite stripper material yet."
I responded "So, yer saying that chicks aren't into stretch marks?"

Just as I was saying that this lady customer came walking up the aisle and as she heard what I had to say she had a huge grin on her face.  I pointed it out and said "see, even she laughs at me" and as she walked by us she made sure to say (loud enough for us to hear) "Nope, No we sure don't like stretch marks" and everyone had a big laugh at my expense.


  1. My work environment is filled with beautiful young women each day. It is kind of funny how you get used to it. Not that I stop looking, of course ...

    It is really sad that I have been working there so long that I have sometimes said "When I first started working here -- before you were born ..."

    1. Thus far I have never used that phrase....
      And I'm not sure I want to keep with the same company long enough to start saying it.... Though in reality I'm about half way there

  2. Um. Yeah. Sure you figured out her age AFTER admiring the view...

    1. Totally.
      I thought maybe 18-20
      Of course, if her old man seeded her mom when he was 18-20 then this was totally possible... but I'm doubting it.

  3. Wow, this was sort of the same theme as Lightning's latest post. What is this, "Old Fart's Day?"

    I think 16 years old is ok for the "you can look, but you can't touch" category. I mean, as long as she's not the daughter of a friend or your relative.

    1. If it was Old Fart's day I'm quite sure that you'd be the one starting it all Rob :)

      I'm just happy that my Fiance hasn't killed me for looking at anyone else yet.
      yet being the operative word I'm sure.

  4. My concern is that girls today who look 18+ are often 15-16....and they looked nothing like they do now when I was 15-16....I'm glad I'm not in the 18-25 range trying to figure out which girls are legal and which ones aren'

    1. My god, when I was in High School there was only one chick I can think of that looked anything like the ones I see constantly walking around now.

      I remember this one time that she was mowing the lawn with a bikini top on and a bikini bottom which was only covered up by a pair of cutoff shorts that were unbottoned/unzipped and folded down.....
      That scene still gives me a ...... smile
      smile dammit

  5. I'm glad others agree with me on the differences between girls today and girls back then.

    On a different note, 3 weeks from today I arrive in vegas!!! :-)