Monday, December 12, 2011


I'm fairly certain that sometime within the past week I have done a horrible grievance to a gypsy and her family.

Let me explain.

Saturday night a couple of friends pay me a visit and insist that they would like my company for the rest of the evening, I think it sounds a little fishy but I play along and join them in their misadventure.
During this evening I end up at a friends house while watching a movie I have never heard of and drinking Honey Jack (Jack Daniels with a splash of honey).
Mistake number one - I never drink my alcohols straight, I'm a mix-it-with-coke kinda guy.  However, there was nothing to mix it with so I went with Ice.
Mistake number two - I drank 3+ glasses of this tasty new beverage :)

Now, I am going to admit that I could not taste the honey with the first glass.  It tasted like regular old Jack to me and it took me a little while to down it.
And my 2nd admission is that I could not really taste the whiskey with the 2nd and 3rd glasses (and the half glass that I finished for someone else) but I could really feel it.

My guess is that sometime after glass #3.5 and making it home around 4am is when I had the encounter with the mysterious gypsy.
It's pure speculation but I'm going to guess that I made a late night stop at the local gas station for some Energy Drinks to help me recover in the morning and upon exiting the store a gypsy beggar happened to be outside asking me if I could spare any change for her starving child at home.
I probably made a proposal for an exchange of services in which she would first have to remove her false teeth, upon which point she started yelling at me in a foreign language.
That foreign language ended up being a gypsy curse which was supposed to translate to Thinner, however because it was so late and she was quite tired she mispronounced a few words and the curse actually ended up being the worst headache that I have experienced this year (I would have much preferred the other because I have read that book and could use the weight loss).

So, here I sit, going on 48 hours later my head is throbbing and I'm dumb enough to be looking at a computer screen and watching the Seahawks play the Rams (you can debate which of those two is more stupider).
Thinking about drilling a hole in my head to let out the bad spirits - it's either that or apologize to the gypsy lady and everyone who knows me knows that I don't do well with apologies.

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