Wednesday, November 26, 2014

My Life is Not A Porn Script



A few weeks back I was out picking up dinner and upon leaving the establishment I was approached by a man and his wife who started to talk and I immediately said that I didn't have any money on me.
While walking the man was speaking and said that he wasn't looking for any money or a handout he was just asking for....

And I cut him off and said that I didn't have any.
Then he finished by saying he just was looking for someone to give his wife a ride home because it was cold outside and they had their 4 month old baby with them and they didn't want the baby to catch cold.

Indeed there was a 4 month old child with them and indeed it was bloody chilly that evening.

I thought briefly about it and decided that I couldn't let the child suffer because the parents were fucking idiots.

After deciding that I was willing to be trusting and that I wasn't going to be stabbed and left for dead somewhere I helped the lady load up the stroller and get into the car where I proceeded to drive her about 15-20 minutes out of my way so that she could get her baby home.

On the way we had basic small time conversation which mostly centered around how shitty her life was and how useless her hubby is. They needed $300 by tomorrow to pay the rent or were evicted, they have no food at home, they blah blah blah. When we arrived at the final destination I got the stroller out of the trunk.

Here is where the problem occurred.
Not once did she reach over to the driver's seat to rub on my junk.
Not once did she try to undo my zipper and give me road head.
I didn't even get an invite up to her apartment so that she could repay in kindness with a hummer or a toss.
Nothing.

I went out of my way and did this great deed and I received no type of compensation for my services, oral or otherwise.
I'm a nice guy. Trusting, too trusting and as such my life is not and never will be like a porno movie.
Everything I know is a lie.

7 comments:

  1. The $300 rent money likely would have helped. You could have been the porno king, maybe ... for $300.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Replies
    1. this is something we will never know the true answer to

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  3. So, dude doesn't approve of my thoughts and then ends up going all internet tough guy on my Facebook page because of this little story.
    Kind of amusing but I had to block him because he became too much of a douche bag.

    I heart my friends

    https://www.facebook.com/grrouchie/posts/938248236205321?comment_id=938488972847914&notif_t=like

    ReplyDelete
  4. i dont much approve of u either--nor of the other blog readers for thinking this woman owed u sex.

    that being said shes far better off with u (or better yet ME) than the guy whose broke.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anyone who rides in my car owes me sex! It's in the bible

      Delete