This all stems from something that I heard ages ago when I was just a young lad. Over the years I have recanted it many times when the proper situation arises and tonight while lying down with my puppy love I randomly happened to think about the second part of this post.
Before anyone asks, NO - I have no bloody clue why the second part of this "observation" was even in my head. My mind doesn't work properly. My "empty thoughts" are not the same as everyone else's. Some people day dream about a hot broad that they saw in passing two weeks ago and want to bang, I day dream about things that I usually don't freely admit until I find a way to blog about them :)
Unlike our female counterparts the male mind revolves around a very limited number of things. Boobs, Beer, Pizza/Wings, football and vagina's. Not necessarily in that order, but those are the big ones. You can make some substitutions depending on the man and his location in the world. For instance, if he's Canadian you can get rid of Football and replace it with Hockey. If he's from the south maybe Nascar instead. If he's from the bible belt or went to Penn State then you can throw in little boys and NAMBLA meetings. You get my point.
Rob touches the Boobs all the time so I can skip that one for this evening. Football will also be skipped and instead of I'm to give a little focus on the others while leading into the main event.
Fat Guys have smaller dicks.
That is a very blunt statement and not 100% factual, but it's a good generalization. I have done extensive research and other than Ron Jeremy and an occasional nameless others you don't see a whole lot of fat guys in porn. The other thing you really don't see in porn are huge muscular weight lifting types. There is a reason for this.
Human flesh is an amazing organ. At birth we are all pretty much the same size and weight and from there we all grow to different proportions, and with this growth our flesh grows with us and generally never complains. However, there are limitations that were never conceived for our flesh and it is these limitations that cause the issue. You see, the human race was never meant to be obese or overly muscular. We started out as hunter gatherers who constantly had to get exercise just to eat and most of the time did not have an over abundance to eat on any regular basis. It wasn't until our intelligence (and vanity) developed that we stared to see people's sizes changing disproportionately.
It is these changes that have caused the male penis to shrink (ladies, aren't you happy you know?). The flesh can only expand so much. As certain areas reach their limits they have to start pulling that flesh from other areas in order to maintain balance and not rip and cause issues.
Fat guys have large bellies. The belly is located real close to the crotch and thus that is where it takes that extra skin from, thus shrinking the tally-whacker.
Muscular guys have large bugles everywhere and as a result of all those long hours in the gym the only muscle that they want to look larger actually gets smaller. Sucks, but true.
I could probably end it there, but that's only the first order of business today. Now lets look at another anomaly, the anomaly of the incredibly growing nut-sack on old men.
I don't want any one of you to pretend that you have no idea what I am talking about. Everyone has noticed this in one form or another. It might have been a joke in a movie or your crazy great uncle frank, but everyone has either heard a story about or seen some old mans ball randomly escape through the leg of his shorts (or pants dog forbid) and just hang there in the sunlight while it's owner chills with a beer in his hand oblivious to the fact that he might get a very painful form of sunburn in the near future.
As old people age they shrink, this is a genetic fact that I have heard in the past and choose to adopt as truth. Why else would old people develop all of those wrinkles. After years and years of the skin stretching and growing to cover everyone up and make them look beautiful, the body then starts shrinking and all that extra flesh has to do something - Thus wrinkles.
Not only that, but area's that were ignored before so that the flesh could cover elsewhere suddenly find themselves with an overabundance of flesh that should have been there to begin with. This is why the nut-sack suddenly grows 100x in length. The good news is that because all this extra flesh now exists an old man's erection is normally 2-3 times the size it was when he was a younger strapping lad doing dirty things in the Navy before Don't Ask Don't Tell.
It is with all of this knowledge that I believe old midgets must all be hung like fucking horses.
Ladies, looking for that one last fling? I suggest finding an old midget and a bottle of Viagra. Bring some extra lube because things are going to get ugly and painful!!!
The More You Know.