Thursday, August 02, 2012

The Dead Liver Diaries

So last night was the first night of drink drank drunking for Melissa's month long Vegas Vacation.
Let me start over.

1st things first and that is (probably an early) Happy Birthday to a new reader (hope you stick around) Alex who thought I sounded cool and promised that she would NOT shank me!  So, Hap Hap Happy Bday Alex.

2nd item of business is - I've asked permission and was told I could use a real name so - I introduce to you my favoritest drinking buddy of the Las Vegas Years - Melissa (picture to follow).

Now where was I?  Oh right - Melissa is on a month long vacation in Vegas - Alex just arrived into town yesterday and both girls wanted to dress up and party like rock stars, so we hit the town.

First fun part of the evening was checking into their hostel (sounds so much better than Hotel Room). The lady who does the checking in wrote down the wrong information, so when we got to the room there was already a "privacy" sign on the door and the keys magically didn't work.
A quick (20 minutes) phone call to the front desk later she was informed that they gave her the wrong info and transferred her to a black hole where the phone just rang endlessly with no help in sight.

Finally, by random happenstance, she looked at something else that had her room info written on it and we come to find out that the room was correct but the floor was wrong.  So, a quick jaunt to a different level and the keys started magically working.
Now it's the fun time for the grrouch where he gets to watch hotties get undressed and into something a bit more revealing.  However, all of that was done in the bathroom, out of sight and *pout.*

Time for Dinner - Batista's Hole in the Wall.
This place was swanky (I don't know what that word really means, I won't look it up as I'm wasting company time right now and honestly I just like the word so it's staying) and adorable.  There was a small crypt keeper guy playing an according and singing (badly) table to table. Melissa thought he was adorable as hell and gave him a good tip (karma points probably).
After dinner was ordered the great garlic bread and salads were brought out along with the main course: the wine.  One gallon of white and one gallong of red.  We were to get a 3rd gallon but that was going to be physically impossible.

I'm not a wine drinker. Never have been and probably never will be.  There was one wine that I've enjoyed over the course of my years that was introduced to me just a few years back and that is Lambruscia (or however you spell it).  It's a bitter tasting red wine with a nice alcohol content that gets you messed up fairly well.  That last part is probably the whole reason that I like the wine.
So, when our wines arrived I was hesitant and actually planning on not even drinking any of them, I was going to stick to my water.  However a smile and some peer pressure later my glass was full and I was drinking some white wine. 
I don't know exactly how to describe it, but I was not enamored with the white wine - the flavor was not horrible but it was missing something - almost like it was too dry.
However, when I found msyelf faced with a glass of the red wine I noticed it's likeness to the cheap Lambruscia that I've become fond of, it was missing a good deal of the bitterness that the Lambruscia has though.
Half a bottle later I stopped pretending to acutally "drink" the wine and my glass pretty much turned into a shot glass.
I 100% admit right now that while the food was good and plenty and not a single one of us could finish our course I will be going back because of the wine.  I need a second opinion afterall :)
So, I'm taking sign up's - who wants to go?

The good thing about strip traffice at 8 pm is that it's a lot of stop and go, which is easier to navigate when you are drunk (in my HUMBLE opinion).  Add the full blast of the AC in my face and I felt like a million bucks by the time we ended up at Caesar's Palace on our date with destiny to glance at Christian Bale and his stupid dorky face on the way to the bathroom.

That story is too short and boring so I'm not going to bother talking about it.  However in the midst of all the drinking we did get a few photo ops.
These pics are all over all 3 of our Facebooks and as such I assume (stab me if I'm wrong) that the ladies won't mind if they are shared here.
If you want them removed, text me!

Favorite quote of the evening.  As we were in the hotel room and the ladies were preparing for their night out on the town with pimp serge, Alex put on the shirt you see her wearing and asked if it looked too slutty, then decided that "I didn't fucking come to Vegas to NOT dress like a slut."
Ladies, it was a fucking fun evening!

The visiting Alex

I'm Wasted but in good company


Will you Marry Me?

In the men's room at Batista's

Drunk and Hungry but I said no


  1. Please tell me that someday you'll write a book entitled "The Dead Liver Diaries." I just hope my second ex doesn't beat you to it.

    1. if any of your Ex's take my idea I'm coming after you :)

      I'm kinda sorta working on a "memoir" that could turn into a book that nobody would buy and this is one of my "working" titles....

      I need to Patent this before Apple does and sues me off the internet.

  2. Whoa! Anytime you need a wingman this month you let me know! Good read, better pics.

  3. Nice pics man. Never realized what a small head you have. XD. Oh oh I am dead now when I come to Vegas.

    1. When I drop another 50 pounds my head will look a bit normal me thinks.

      Why be you dead?

  4. If this had been my blog post, the title would have been "I didn't fucking come to Vegas to NOT dress like a slut." Just sayin'

    What venue at Caesars did the three of you terrorize?

    1. Rob,that would have been a great title, but you know me - I don't think things through.

      No Venue - Just Caesars itself. Walking around the overpriced shopping/eating area, taking photo's, having a great f'n time!