Friday, August 10, 2012

In Which I ramble

I'm not 100% sure what the hell is going on here but back in may Splitter was kind enough to make a special guest post on my blog and lately the hits have really been racking up for that particular post.
It has just as many hits as all of my other blog posts combined in the past week or (perchance) even longer.
Whatever, I'll take the traffic any way I can get it.
On that note, the number one way people are finding my blog is via the search word "lesbian" so I've got that going for me.

I will also be passing the 50k page hits mark in the near future which is a pretty f'n cool thing if I do say so myself.

None of that is what I came here to talk about today though.  I came to talk about changes.

Yesterday Carmel and I spent some time together and both acted like perfect adults.  There was no arguing, no accusations no outward ill will or any of the other things that we have come to expect over the course of the past year or so.  We got together and finalized the last bit of paperwork for the house and talked like normal adults.  On the bell curve this currently falls somewhere around fucking outlyer.

So with that being said I'm now less than two months from having to physically move every bloody thing I own one more time.  I've only done it like 40 other times during my life so what is one more right?  Last time I enlisted the help one one friend, this time I'm going to expand exponentially and enlist the help of upwards of 4 friends.  While this might be hard for some of you to believe, I might actually have four friends who happen to live within some proximity of me who actually would help me get all of my shit from point A to point B.  (one of them is just going to be on Vacation and visiting so I have yet to tell him how he is spending his Vegas Vacation yet - Sucker!!)

In all honesty, I fucking hate packing more than I hate moving.

Referenced and Linked above is "the penis mightier than the sword" C.S. Splitter who, as I hear rumblings from his editor, is almost completed with his 3rd book "The grrouchie."
(working title that I just made up, may or may not be true).
As I was talking to his editor today I told her how excited I was to actually see myself in print form (if you didn't know, I'm going to be a fictional character in the book and at one point I heard through the rumor mill that I might not die and could end up in book #4 *nudge nudge*).  Of course she then alluded to she couldn't wait either and was the one tasked with making me look good, er, I mean making his book look good and readable.
So, I'm now asking for everyone to donate to my Paypal account so I can pay her off as she edits me magnificently so that everyone falls in love with the character and clamorous for more until I am a folk hero legend with a cult following and millions and millions of letters are sent to Splitter demanding my own Spin Off Novel, Series, TV Show and Movies.  I want action figures and plushies and a fucking T-shirt that says "I survived a Splitter Novel as a extra."
Oh, I'm going to be so famous in my own mind!

And lastly I want to mention that even though it hasn't been brought up in the past couple of months I am still constantly thinking about my future career as an Open Mic Comic.
While I have yet to use her talents and services, the lovely Linda Lou will be taken advantage of (left up to your imagination).  I feel blessed to have randomly made such a contact who is also a nice person, outgoing and actually wants to help out someone aspiring to torture himself in such a manner.

My plans have never changed but life is all about having to be in the right place to do things properly.  I am slowly getting to that right place, I feel it's just around the next corner or two, maybe over the next hill but the time is coming.  With that said I've also made another contact who currently happens to live in the greater Pittsburgh area and is a Die Hard Steelers fan as well.
This contact also is thanks to the Internet (so thank you Al Gore for inventing that for me).  She is the aunt of one of my Facebook pals whom I worked with at my current Retail job and actually cuts the hair for my mother.  The niece, not the aunt. I confused myself.  In the interest of confusion I'm not editing any of that - screw you guys, figure it out yourself.
Anyways, this person added me on Facebook recently and we started talking about the Steelers and other things of awesome import when somehow it was discovered that I'm interested in being an entertainer (not that type) and want to give comedy a try.  This is when I found out she has somewhat of a background in writing (comedy specifically) and totally wants me to leech off of her teat and will allow me to use her as a resource as well to help me achieve my goals.

Right now I think the world is in love with me and great things will be happening.
And as the great Jim Morrison once said.
C'mon and Touch Me Baby!
OoOoooo, yeah, right there.


  1. Yes, you will be in book three. A small role that sets up the character for the fourth book. I love foreshadowing future.plot elements or making things significant that people originally read and said, "why did he throw that in there?"

    There is a larger story at work, I promise. These things are usually planned. And sometimes I screw up and decide to leave the mistake in there to be used later (Tiny's endowment ).

    Who knew that a sexually confused drunken poker addict could have a relationship with a cross dressing magician who likes rabbits? Can he win him back? Will the poker addict be seduced into the heterosexual world by coke and hookers? Find out in book four (nope, not kidding, I take character challenges from friends and work them in sometimes...).

    How will they help Tom and Lorena get the bad guys?


    1. This is the funniest shit I heard all day long.

    2. Okay. So now I have to add this Splitter guy to the list of books that I need to buy. Thanks a lot Serge. Hahah....just kidding. It's a good thing. I need to stock up my reserves for the winter months. ;o)

    3. His first two books are well worth while.
      You are doing yourself injustice by not buying them :)