Friday, July 26, 2013

Infinity Escalators

Recently I went to Bally's for a poker session and noticed a behavioral change about myself.
So, while walking to the room I thought it would be a good beginning for this post.  I pulled out my phone and used it as a dictator, but I guess there was too much noise and I was talking too low.
Either that or my phone does hard drugs.

This is what came out.

"The walking state and I would forward to unpack I take this stairs infinity escalators."

What I actually said was....

"The walk I used to hate I now look forward to and I now take the stairs instead of the escalators. The walk invigorates me. It gets my adrenaline pumping. I want to run but fat boy don't do that."

So, since it has been a few days I'm just going to type up the notes that I took.
I don't know how this is going to turn out for readability but whatever - Suffer!

Counting mine there are 7 phones out. 3 Androids and 3 iPhones, one I can't identify from here.
We just had a limp re-raise from UTG and he stairs the table down in disbelief as everyone folds.
I'm one of 2 listening to music, but I'm watching the action and trying to figure out who will double me up.

AQs (hearts) in MP so I raise to $12 and there is one limp-caller.
Flop KQx goes check/check.
Turn is a blank and he bets out $10 which I call.
River is an ace and he Check/Folds.  I should have probably raised the turn.

After that hand I lost a good sized pot when a guy calls me down with top pair weak kicker and rivers his 2nd pair.

There is an attractive Asian chick at the table who keeps having an even more attractive Asian Chick come over behind her, talk to her and rub her shoulders a little before disappearing back to her 2/4 limit game.
Fucking lesbians always taking the hot chicks away from us white guys.
(I was trying to channel my inner TBC there).

There is a 2nd limp RR from UTG (different person). Seems to be a trend as it's happened twice and we are only two orbits in.

Asian Chick has at least 2 scars on her left arm that look like burn marks.
I'm curious what her safe word is.

Last person who limp RR'd from UTG has now button straddled every time she has the opportunity. She is the only other person at the table wearing headphones.

Button Straddle Lady seat changes which would put me UTG every time she does it.  I seat change to the 10 she just vacated, which I like because it's beside the dealers so I can chat and catch up.

3rd button straddle from the BSL and I wake up with JJ.  Someone makes it $16 and I call.  Flop King high and I call a $20 bet.  Turn and river are blanks but we both check it down.  My JJ is bigger of the two pocket pairs and I'm close to starting stack again.

UTG I wake up with Aces and make it $13.  Guy who just sat down and took the seat I vacated calls and flops top pair, turns 2 pair and rivers a boat.
A few hands ago I moved all my chips from the 7 seat to the 10 seat and now I am moving all my chips back to the 7 seat.
I don't think that's a good sign.
$200 re-buy - Might be a quick night.
Maybe I should have tried to limp re-raise like everyone else???

A couple of hands later I button Straddle, call it tilt.
3 callers and I look down and see Rob's Dreaded Pocket Kings! - I make it $30 on top.
One caller who was in the big blind.
How good of a hand can you have to call $5 and then call $30 more?
Flop Q high with 2 hearts.  He checks and I push, he thinks about it and calls.
Turn Blank - River K of hearts.... I set
He flops over J2 hearts for his flush.


52 minutes into my session and I feel like I'm getting prison raped by a guy wearing a sandpaper condom.
My stack is now what they would call short - though it's not quite TBC short yet.

LBS button Straddles again - I have 99 and make it $20 and get 5 callers, wow.
Flop is 6 high and I push - everyone folds, nice pot.

Guy who cracked my AA (and took my seat) just limped my button straddle from UTG +4.  Two guys later raises and UGT+4 puts in a bigger raise.  They are the only two to the flop.
Flop comes out with a Joker, a piece of gum and a picture of someone's ugly baby.  They get all in.
UTG+4 has Aces and other guy has Kings.
Limp Re-Raise with aces from middle position manages to pay off.
Poker Sucks

Few hands later same guy puts in a raise with a gut-shot - Hits his hand and stacks someone else.
Why did I ever leave that seat?

LBS Straddles and I have 52d and really want to raise.  Small Blind makes it $11 and I call.
We take a flop 5 handed.  Flop J23 and SB bets $15 which I call.  Turn is an Ace and he best out $20 and I call.  I doubt my 2 is good at this point but I feel that any 2 4 or 5 gives this pot to me.
River is a 4, he best $35 and I push.  He calls and insta mucks.
$175 to go till even.

At this point I stopped taking notes as the beers were starting to affect my ability to type into my phone.
However, by the time I left I was only down $72 and that's a fucking win if you ask me after that brutal 1st hour that I played.

Current Bankroll $455
Still have two buy-ins so I'm good!
Probably play Sunday and possibly Saturday.


  1. I enjoyed the hell out of this post.

    1. Thanks.
      I'm going to attempt to take more notes so that I can write up sessions later.

      I wanted to do a better write up but I pretty much just typed out what was on my phone so I'm quite happy that enjoyment was had.

  2. Limp 5, flat 30 with J 2 suited - HOLY #*&!...

    1. Yeah - I watched him the rest of the night make a myriad of other bad calls as well and slowly distribute my money back around the table to everyone but me.

      F'n Jack 2 - they don't make em like that any more

  3. I'm curious what her safe word is


  4. Perhaps you need to make some changes. What kind of sock do you use to store your bankroll?

    1. I believe it's called a wallet

    2. All the cool cats use ziplock bags.

    3. I've never been cool - that's where the problem begins