Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Testing the Ole Liver Out

I had started to drunkenly type up a post about drinking after inventory.  I started typing it on my phone while drinking and eventually I'll go back and finish it as I thought I was making a good point about the difference between big city life and small city life.

However, that's not what I came here to talk to you all about today.  Friday I went out drinking (it's fucking tradition - leave me alone) and then yesterday I ended up having a couple with a friend as well.  Now here is where things start to break down and my body will go into rejection.

My current favoritest drinking buddy in the whole wide world is in town and she brought a crazy friend (her words, not mine.  Crazy friend - if by some off chance you happen to ever read this - Stab your friend for saying it, not the cool fat white guy you'll be drinking with.  I'm totally innocent! I swear).  Tomorrow night is night number 1 of what will end up being heavy drinking.  Thursday I don't go to work until 11:30 or noon so this is a built in excuse to stay out late and drink to excess.
However, where it's really going to get me is that I'll be drinking with two much younger and very attractive ladies which means that I'm going to be doing my best to keep up and not look like an old fuck who can't handle his liquor.  I accept the challenge.
Saturday evening might also be a night of drinking depending on how the rest of the day goes.  A certain hair stylist is trying to get her girls to go out drinking with her and when that doesn't work according to plan I'm totally going to be a stand in for one of the girls.  I'm not quite as pretty, don't have as much hair but dammit I've still got the tits..... er, this paragraph took a turn for the worst.  Let me regroup.

So, Saturday I might end up meeting her and some of her other friends out for cheep booze and cheaper entertainment.

I skipped Friday.  From what I understand there is something called First Friday that I'm being invited out to. I've been told there is booze and funnel cakes and if anyone knows me I'm all over funnel cakes like a fat kid is all over.... um.... funnel cakes.  Yes.  I haven't had one in a damned long time and this makes me miss the fairs back home just a little tiny bit.  Not too much, I think of the other crap back there and I stop missing the place but dammit I miss hot, fresh made, powder sugar covered blow's all the fuck over you with a small breeze funnel cakes.

Hellz To The Yeahz.
Holla atcha boy!

Ladies, say your prayers!


  1. If you love fried dough, then you need to experience the Iowa State Fair.

    1. How does this fair and it's Fried Dough differentiate itself from the two billion others in the States?

  2. Funnel cakes - small pleasures... :)

  3. "I'm totally innocent! I swear" There's a first time for everything. ;o)

    Yes, funnel cakes from the carnival. Those were tasty. I laughed quite a bit as you described them because I knew exactly what you meant. :o)