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Thursday, May 02, 2013

Hogging All The Vagina

You see, what had happened was as follows.
As a brother, as a friend, you gotta realize that you cannot have all of the vagina.  This is an unwritten bro code passed down from generation to generation.  I should not have to tell a nigga this.  It should be understood.  MuFukka, when I was just knee high to a grasshopper but with a dick the size of a full grown white man (this be about 10-12 years old) my pappy sat me down and said "Son, I need to have an important conversation with you."
"Yeah pops, what is it," I said listening intently knowing that if I didn't he'd beat my ass with his half empty bottle of Old English 800 Malt Liquor that he picked up from the corner store just 30 minutes ago.
"Son, as you are getting older and becoming a man you have to learn a few valuable lessons in life.  None more important than what I'm about to tell you.  If you do not heed my warning then you will end up shanked and with only a few moments to reflect upon the mistakes which you have made."
"No worries pappa, I always listen to what you have to tell me and I always follow your advice because you are old and wise and you tell me so.  So, what is this sage advice you have for me?" (I was an exceptionally smart fucker at this age and able to form sentences that most nigga's 3 times my age still cannot.
"Son, this won't make sense to you right now but one day you will understand.  Do Not Hog All The Vagina"

Shit, I tell you my pops gave great advice.  He learned me good that day and I ain't never lost that memory. I believed that er'yone got the same advice from their pops's, well except for the bastards because they ain't never known their daddy's but I'd thunk that their momma's would have told them to not hog all the vagina's. I mean, what bitch wouldn't look out for her kids that way.

So you see, I ain't to blame here in this situation because I was just following man law, bro code.  I was just being a real nigga and keeping it real.
That Mu'fuka was hogging all the vagina.
I asked politely for him to stop hogging all the vagina and he ignored me and kept plugging away.
I demanded a switch but got ignored.
I even slapped him on the shoulder and said "Tag mu'fuka, my turn" and he keep ignorin' me.
So, I stabbed his ass, kicked him out of the bed and got my share of the vagina.
Bitch be trippin' though and she called the 911's saying shit was going down.  I had to slap her around a little bit to get her to stop being such an uppity trick and let me finish.
I ain't dun nuttin' wrong, he shouldn't have been hogging all the vagina.





Hogging All The Vagina
No caption necessary



6 comments:

  1. I am assuming you had a solid alibi as to your whereabouts during the period in question. Oh, yeah, you were headed for church in your last post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Church is Saturday,
      I've got a lot of time on my hands in between
      Preparing for those Lightning36 Mexican 3ways

      Delete
    2. With Sparky around, I'd suggest rubber boots rather than the natural lamb ones.

      Delete
  2. That has to be one of the most bizarre three way's in history!

    ReplyDelete
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