Sunday, May 12, 2013

Tough Decisions

I've got a big week ahead of me and luckily I'm on vacation for the whole thing.

Tomorrow we head to the church to talk to the priest/preacher/reverend/cultist/whatever about the possibility of doing the wedding in the church.
She's Catholic and i'm Reasonable and in the Catholic Church that shit don't mix.

There are a couple of different ways that this could play out and I'm all for the easiest of them all.
1 - They could tell us that they will only perform the ceremony if we are both Catholic and she agree's to do a non-catholic wedding.
2 - They could tell us that they will only perform the ceremony if we are both Catholic and it would be quick and painless for me to convert just for this occasion.
3 - They could tell us that they will agree to perform the ceremony as long as I agree to a few of their "rules" and life goes on without any hitches.

I'm all for option #3.
I guess I'll know more after tomorrow.

I've got some tough decisions ahead of me.  Lightning made a good comment on my post about the Invitation  List and it being a difficult thing to actually make.
Truth of the matter is I thought it was going to be bloody simple and it's anything but.
My list of people has fluctuated greatly, changing every day.  New people added and deleted almost every time I think about it.  I'd have put money on this being one of the easier things to do and I'd be broke because I was wrong (I'd still be broke though because weddings are F'n expensive).
The good news is that we've got time to figure out the who's and how-many's.  Our first priority is to figure out there where and when.
Once we figure out the church situation everything will clear up a little bit and we can move on to step number two.

The other tough decision is who should be my best man?
There are two guys whom I've been friends with for a long time who I could not live without and yet I have to flip a coin and decide which of these two gets an elevated status in my own wedding.
It's truly a strange decision to have to make and I'm 100% conflicted and don't think that I'll actually be able to make a choice anytime in the near future.

Oh well - it's bed time.
Old man is tired.


  1. Who said you had to have ONE best man? It is YOUR wedding. Have as many as you damn well please. :) Besides, she could always have a maid of honor and matron of honor.

    1. Took the words right out of my mouth. When my wife and I got married, it was clear from the get go that I would not be choosing between my two brothers when it came to the best man. They were both the best man at my wedding and I just split the responsibilities between them. Everything worked out great.

      With all of the things that stress you out during planning your wedding, this should not be one of them.


  2. Or, you could tell the two it is a tie as they are both BFF's. So, say you can flip a coin or they can work it out between them. It could impact one more than the other and they can decide who "get stuck with the Grrrouch"

    As to religion, opting in isn't a checkbox or button. They have classes. I think about 6-8 weeks worth. She's divorced so that'd take an OK from a bishop or such. Leave all that to her; she is the Mackerel-snapper/expert. :)

    The thing you both need to think about is minimizing the stress of the situation. That's job 1. Talk it out. You both may be willing to do things that aren't important to the other but you think you are doing it for the other.

    1. I know about the classes and I know that there is the whole "marriage counsoling thing" to go along with a cathoholic wedding - but whatever.
      If it's what she wants then I'm willing to make a small sacrifice for it.

      Also - she has never been married, so the bishop just has to OK allowing me to marry her without being Catholic myself.

      I'm not "leaving" anything to her - we're trying to do this as a unit (i said unit heh-heh).

  3. I had a Catholic Church wedding and I am a devil worshiper. Seriously they usually just say "Do you agree to raise the kids Catholic" and you just lie and say yea, and it's all good.

    1. Yes - this is the option I'm hoping for.
      Catholicism is not a religion - it's a curse :)

  4. what about having two best MEN at your side. I know it's traditional to have 1 but if these guys are both very very close to you then I think you should be able to have both your best Bros standing there with you....... I mean, why not?

  5. Ok - so it appears as though one of my thought processes was not really that far off and that was having both guys combine to form one super best man.

    This was a suggestion I was going to bring up a bit later to the future wifey and now I feel a lot more confident going about it.

    Thanks for the opinions all

  6. You can't do number two (I should rephrase that?) since the Catholic religion does not provide quickie conversions. They are not concerned about you, thinking that you will believe what you want to believe. However, as Waffles said, they will ask that the kids be raised Catholic.

    Whatever happens happens in the long run. My wife and I are both Catholic. Our kids pretty much reject religion.

    And oh -- the list. My big mistake was inviting some people who were currently "kind of" friends and leaving off some people I knew a little better.

    1. Yeah - my parents are Catholic and I was given the choice when I reached the age that the other kids were going through Cataclysm (or whatever it's real name is heh) and I decided it wasn't for me.

      My love and I have been and will be talking it over more in depth in the future because while it means nothing to me I do understand that it means a lot to her (the whole church blessing/wedding/commitment to god thing).
      And, what is a relationship without compromise right?

      As for the list - if we chose place A then our guest list is going to be a minimum of 60 people which opens up 10 additional slots. That's still bigger than I'd like but gives us room to invite a few "touch cuts" or whatever.
      I'd prefer under 10 myself.
      Me, her, the kid, the Judge and a witness lol.