It's really all a testament to willpower, no more and no less.
The whole 40 days and 40 nights thing of Lent. I know that it's supposed to be a sacrifice, to mean something. To me it's all about testing my willpower to see if I can last the duration.
I'm not overly religious and I never will be. However I do accept that religion means something to others and I will not disrespect that like I would have when I was younger.
Like I did.
I've matured, it happens.
So, with that said this is the reason I am going through the Lent process with my love. I was not asked, I volunteered. This means something to her and I want to share in that and support her the best way I know how - by joining in.
It is with this knowledge which led me to choose what to sacrifice for Lent - Snacking.
You see, since I started the whole weight loss routine last year, since I realized that I was a huge fat ass instead of just a big fat ass, I had decided that I was going to do everything very slow, very deliberately and with great moderation. I, like a lot of you, have gone through periods of time when I'd "diet" and just go full throttle balls to the wall only to burn out and give up before the process got to get to the point where it sticks. This time was going to be different.
Here I sit over a year later and down a significant amount of weight because of small incremental changes throughout the course of the year. I got to hear a lot of people asking me if I was dieting and I'd tell them that I'm just changing the way I eat. Nobody believed it, they just assumed it was a diet.
Then they'd see me eating a bag of chips or eating fast food for a week and they would ask me why I ended my diet or "how can you eat that on your diet?" and I'd have to reiterate to them that I'm not on a diet. I'm just changing the way I eat and today I deem 2 chili cheese burrito's and a bag of combo's to be part of my routine.
So, back to my original point before my fingers got me off on two different tangents.
I've been wanting to kick out the snacks for a month just to prove I can do it.
I snack too much as it is even though I did cut back a good deal. I need to learn to fill up my food choices with healthier points (calories, whatever) instead of junk food.
Fact is that the more weight I lose the less I can ingest to keep up the desired results (more loss) and that means sacrificing something.
I've been making small sacrifices over the course of the year and I can honestly say that there is not a whole lot that I have cut out that I really miss.
Peanut Butter tops the list, but I still have a little now and then to remind me why it's one of my top loves!
However, sitting over there under my TV is a big Heart Reese's Peanut Butter Cup for Valentine's Day that I currently cannot allow myself to eat. Oh, and I bet it's so delicious. Probably better than the 3 I ate in the 2 weeks leading up to VD even.
Yeah, I have a weakness for PB Cups and Ice Cream and Chips, a big weakness.
I didn't get fat eating green beans and soup.
Over a week into it and I can say that I've been tempted a couple of times while I was out and about, but the odd thing is that while I have been home I haven't even so much as touched the candy package and stared longingly at it. I know it's there and I'm happy to know that I will devour it once this test is over.
Just like I know I have 4 packs of Swiss Cake Rolls in my freezer waiting for me to devour as well.
The other day someone handed me two pieces of chocolate and I took them, thanked them and put them in my pocket. I didn't want to be rude and refuse but I also haven't eaten them.
This is what they call progress.
I feel like I'm harping on it, like I'm talking about it too much.
It's just what's on my mind and this blog is ultimately just a sounding board for what goes through my head on a regular basis.
Right now what I'm thinking is that I really want a bowl of Ice Cream :)
Mainly because of the whole mouth is sore and I can't chew food without being in annoying pain.
I've eaten soup and mashed potatoes and banana's for the past two days.
I want something sweet - I'd also like something solid lol.
Tomorrow I'll eat some Yogurt, a healthier alternative to Ice Cream.
The sweetness will hopefully satisfy my craving.
It will also add some much needed calories into my diet since the Soup and naners don't really add up to a whole lot.
I've got two more trips to the Dentist to finish off this round of my own personal Hell.
On Monday I go in and will get my final Wisdom Tooth extracted. I will also have probably 4 Root Canal's done.
Any healing done over the last few days will be wiped out and the pain will begin anew.
Pain is only temporary, thankfully.
After that is done another week or so later I will make my final trip in to get my permanent crowns attached and then I can go on my merry way with a better, healthier smile.
And, I'm hoping this gets rid of the headache problem I have been having.
Now I know I'm rambling because this is no longer about snacking.