It's not very often in life when I find myself in company of another person who shares some of my slightly left-of-center views, but when I do I know that they are a keeper.
This thought process comes because of the really awesome week or so that I have been having while hanging out with friendships that have not been as strong as they were in the past for various reasons. However, the new me is looking to get back to what makes me, well me, and that starts with attitude.
I'll get to the centerpiece of this whole post but before I do that I want to touch on something that really struck me today (yesterday, the other day, whenever the f it happened at this point).
I was talking to a friend who I hung out with a decent amount a few years back. We used to go to the gym (I need my gym buddy back by the way) and hung out in a few other places like a strip club and WWE events that came to town. We enjoyed each others company and were able to just be ourselves (at least I hope she was as well - I'm coming to believe that statement though I don't know if she ever fully let her guard down around me) without having to worry about "feelings" or "emotions" or whatever. I could be myself and that's what I liked.
As I'm talking to her she went into something she told another friend a few years back and it just kind of struck me in a manner of "even though I didn't continue this friendship then I'm glad I have the opportunity now."
Her words went something alone the lines of (being told to someone else) "grrouchie is a good guy. Sure he's rough around the edges and can be a real asshole at times. Sure he says some really rude and offensive things that are usually funny. Sure he'll make offensive jokes just because he thinks they're going to be funny and doesn't take anyone else's feelings into consideration at the time. But, that's part of his personality. He might be rude and a jerk and an asshole but he is genuinely one of the few really good people out there. He is nice, he is considerate and he is really a good friend."
So, the cliff notes version of that I guess is "On the outside he's an asshole but once you get to know him he's really a good dude."
And, I like that because it is pretty much how I would sum myself up if someone else asked me to. However, it touched me because it came, unprompted, from someone else.
And this brings me back to what I originally wanted to type about (HA! I avoided saying "talk" about) - Term Limits. This conversation came up while waiting for someone else to finish their tattoo, talking about past relationships and their failures when my friend looks at me and says that she believes relationships should have expiration dates, I agreed 100%.
Looking back through life I notice that my relationships follow similar patterns. So, history is doomed to repeat itself and all that jazz I feel that at the first date I should just have a serious conversation about where we see things going. If the chick is one of those lovey dovey types then the process will probably be longer but if she's just dtf then it's a shorter ride (well, it's always a short ride if you know what i'm saying). So, right then and there just put it out there for her to catch on to and latch on to and come up with a date based on combined past experiences.
"Baby, based on the pre "I'd like to get into your pants" interview we just went through, I believe our relationship will have a useful shelf life of about 18 months and as such my proposal to you is that we just both agree now to end it after exactly 18 months.
Just get all that good shit out of the way and part amicably while there is a chance that you two can still both like and respect each other. Everything else is a road to ruin ending in fights and custody battles of some sort. So, I support this idea and will attempt to present it logically and soundly the next opportunity I get. Because it's so new and radical I do not expect it to go over well - but one day down the line I'm hoping that the world can accept this new concept and think of it as just as brilliant as the Remote Control or Synchronized Swimming!
Who got the tattoo Dens or Melissa?ReplyDelete
I agree with Dena, you are very rough around the edges. You are a rude nasty bastard but a kinder guy there isn't.Delete
Melissa - looks good tooDelete
Different friend who called me "rough"- completely unrelated stories.Delete
Friends are there until the end,ReplyDelete
They're always themselves, no pretend.
They're not afraid to be seen with you,
They will never betray you.
Friends never tell secrets they promise to keep,
they make you feel good about yourself in times of weep.
They come and cheer for you at your games,
In a friend there is no shame.
Friends are there to listen when you're depressed,
They are the people you should know best.
Friends are like presents you open again and again,
Always are with you through thick and thin.
grouchie, the problem with the world today is almost everyone out there shares ur left of center views.ReplyDelete
No, the problem is that too many people feel they deserve something for nothing and they blame their problems on everyone but themselves.Delete
I think you're onto something--there should be a Term Limits dating site where you post your "Sell by" date.ReplyDelete
"I'm good for 18 months, and then I start to spoil."
"I go bad after about a year."
"I can keep up a good front for 6 weeks and then I get kinda rough around the edges and turn into an asshole."