Thursday, April 19, 2012


The company I work for has ingrained the IMPACT model of customer service into my head.
Every customer, Every time, Every day!

Initiate Contact
Make Assessment
Provide Assistance
Add On Sales
Close the Sale
Thank the Customer and Invite them back

Today it occurred to me that there are other places/people who use the same model but they might not realize it.

Strippers, for instance:

Initiate Contact - Eye Contact from the stage
Make Assessment - Does this degenerate have any money that I can get out of him or is it just that small wad of $1's that he wants to put in my G-string?
Provide Assisstance - Assissting my face into her boosom
Add on Sales - Would you like a lapdance with that?
Close the Sale - Take my hand/arm and lead me to a private booth
Thank the customer   - Oh you come back and see me again Shug

T can also be Take the Money - works just as well.

So, going to correllation this leads me to believe that a lot of strippers have worked for my employer (Just not at the same stores sadly).


  1. You should delete your comment.revealing your employer's name :/

  2. I dunno, but I seem to think that for strippers, the "t" would stand for tits.

    And the "c"....well, there is a rather nasty slang term for a certain female body part....

  3. Best Buy uses the IMPACT system too.. they say stupid things and make me wait in ridiculous lines until I want to IMPACT their faces with the glass cabinets.

    1. Maybe it's just me but I've never had any issues at all at Best Buy.

  4. Wow. You actually initiate contact? At the Lowe's where I used to live, they all hid somewhere, or walked right passed me without even asking if I needed anything (or looking at me). Or, I'd be going down an aisle with an employee in it (to ask them a question), they'd look up and walk in the other direction. Bastards.

    Maybe I am too intimidating?