Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Let the Demons out PuhLease

Today I woke up somewhere around 4:30 am.
There was a pain in my head, my shoulders were tense.
I knew at that very moment that the rest of my day was going to be spent in pain and there was nothing I could do about it - but that didn't stop me from trying.
I got up and took monster out for a quick piss.
Upon getting back into the apartment I grabbed a water and some Tylenol and downed the entire bottle (of the former, not the latter). I tried to get some shut-eye.
The rest of my "sleep" was restless and my dreams sucked.
By the time I awoke permanently around 6:30 my head was feeling worse.  Searching my brain for ways to fight a nasty headache I decided to try a banana and some caffeine, a Rock Star.
I also downed a Mt Dew on the way to work along with a muffin and a sausage patty.

Let me digress a bit here.  Burger king sucks when it comes to breakfast food.  Their muffin with sausage and cheese pretty much sucks compared to the McDonalds McMuffin.  McD's has better sausage and there is something better about even the muffin portion of the meal.  There is also the fact that McD's has probably one of the best (worse for you) breakfast foods ever invented in their McGriddle.  I feel my McArteries hardening when eating them but McDammit if they aren't McTasty.  Sausage surrounded by two pancakes with the syrup baked right into them?  How can anyone not McLove that shit?
Also, their Hash Brown is MUCH better than the BK Hash Browns.  I love the big greasy patty hash brown over the small bite sized tater tot versions that BK has.  However, if they want back to Cheesy Tots then all bets are off as those things were fucking delicious.  Everything I ever love goes away, including Cheesy Tots.

When I got to work I drank another bottle of water and then I hit up a large bottle of Gatorade.  The electrolytes didn't do shit for me.  The water did nothing either.  It is apparent to me that this is no ordinary headache, it's not a dehydration headache, it's not a hangover headache, it's pretty much a "just fuck with serge" headache.

Nothing I have done all day long has given me any relief.  It's a dull throbbing all day long surrounded by periods of intense pain.  I don't think it's a migraine because I don't have a sensitivity to light - in a dark room I felt no relief and felt no different than when I was outside in the bright ass sun.

So, here I sit - over 18 hours later - cracking another Diet Dew and popping some more Tylenol like an addict even though they haven't done any good all day long and they won't now.  It's just the thought that if I'm not doing something then I'm doing it wrong.  However - this probably means that I'm crazy.
Crazy, by definition, is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
This is what I have done today - what a fucking idiot I am sometimes.  Lock me up and throw away the butt-plug.
I'm hoping the magical headache fairy visits me tonight and takes this pain away.
Maybe while she's there she can give me a good wet dream to ending my slumber as well.

Anyone know of any good ideas/solutions/remedies for the next time this happens?
Please avoid any suggestions involving any aspirin products as I'm allergic and it fucks with my asthma.

grrouch out


  1. Caffeine restricts the blood flow and makes headaches worse. Not really sure of any remedy. Is this a reoccurring thing? Have you seen your doctor?

    1. From WebMD
      "Caffeine is a common ingredient in many prescription and over-the-counter headache medications (see list below). Caffeine additives make pain relievers 40% more effective in treating headaches. Caffeine also helps the body absorb headache drugs more quickly, bringing faster relief. By adding caffeine and, in turn, taking less medication, you can reduce the risk for potential side effects and possible drug addiction."

      I go through cycles where I have a bunch of headaches and then revert to just occasional headaches - it centers around my stress levels mostly.
      And, a couple of times a year, I get a headache like yesterday (which is mostly gone at this point) where I wake up with it and just know it's going to be there all day.

      I used to get migraines regularly but those have cut back to just once or twice a year as well lately which is bloody awesome.

  2. I don't often get headaches but when I do it is often a precursor to an allergy attack. It sometimes happens in Vegas when you have one of those really windy days which launches everything in to the air. Try a couple of sudafed (aspirin free, I checked on their web site). (Make sure you get the real, good for making meth stuff). Not sure what you have to do to get them in Vegas, here we have to ask the pharmacist and sign for it.

    1. I'll look into this next time and see if it gives me any relief. Thanks

  3. I don't get many headaches but when I do it is usually a precursor to an allergy attack. I get them in Vegas when you have one of those really windy days and everything is launched into the air. Try some sudafed (aspirin free I checked their web site). Make sure you get the real stuff, good for making meth. Here we have to ask the pharmacist and sign for it.

  4. I was getting a lot of headaches and it turned out to be sinus headaches. I use OTC advil for sinus congestion and Afrin. They were happening almost everyday. Could just be sinus congestion/infections.

    Love the Mcgriddles. Best fast food breakfast ever made. Always get one soon as I land in Vegas

  5. I feel my McArteries hardening when eating them but McDammit if they aren't McTasty.