At work I recently found out that I am, indeed, just another NPC in the RPG of life. I don't do anything cool, I'm just there to serve a purpose for all of the other assholes who actually do things that are cool and experience life.
This existence sucks just as bad as I thought it would when I was young and making fun of it.
When I got home I said fuck the bacon - How about a blow job? She agree'd
How can I train the dog to continue this?