Friday, March 23, 2012

25 More Things about the grrouch

I realized after writing my list that most of what I listed was pretty generic.
So, I've decided to come up with another list of 25 items that might be more random and out there.
Everything on this list is factual, verifiable and probably has at least one witness.

  1. I sleep with a Fan on year round.  I once had a fan that broke and had to go to Walmart at 3 in the morning to get another
  2. My belly button has a very foul and mysterious odor
  3. I Have always had a Serial Killer fascination (I have a calender, trading cards and at one point owned multiple books on most of the big names and some lesser know ones).
  4. Showed up at my Senior Prom wearing a dress (and promptly got kicked out). (my mother stuffed my bra)
  5. My best friend at the time was my date (we received death threats from the football team).
  6. I wore a mistletoe belt to a school dance once (I was unsuccessful)
  7. I'm almost always stuck in the "friend-zone"
  8. I develop my crushes on people I know I have no shot at so that I don't have to deal with an emotional let down
  9. For about 3 weeks I did not know the name of the first girl I dated. Every time I called her house I prayed her dad didn't answer the phone because "Is your daughter home" is no way to begin an introduction.
  10. I have only slept with one person whom I was not in a relationship with.
  11. I have never been in a fight
  12. I lost my virginity at 15
  13. The next time I had sex with someone other than the girl in #12, I was 22
  14. I absolutely detest talking on the phone - it bugs me in ways that I can't begin to describe.
  15. As a child I once Belched Arnold Schwarzenegger.  I have recently belched Barack Obama.
  16. I was once involved in a 3 guys on one girl scene that I swore I'd never talk about
  17. I hate my job but I'm comfortable and needed. Changing careers scares me.
  18. I got suspended for wearing a tampon in my ear and claiming to be a dyke for Halloween in High-School
  19. I brought ex-lax brownies to my H.S. Psychology class and passed them out.
  20. Until a teacher got sick of it, for one week during my senior year in H.S. I drank water out of a baby bottle.
  21. I showed up to my college finals wearing Beavis and Butt-Head PJ's and slippers
  22. I like dogs more than I like people
  23. I have always believed I'll die old and alone, except for my two dogs
  24. I am not racist or sexist, but I f'n love the jokes.
  25. To me, my own farts smell like french fries (most of the time) 

This was easier than coming up with any new material or telling you all about my craps class (which really I kind of avoided the craps portion of class all together today).


  1. Hm, I knew pretty much everything on this list. Guess I know you fairly well. :)

    1. Well, ya spend 5 or so years with a person you tend to "find things out" :)

  2. I "found out" a whole lot more than I wanted while we were shacked up ! Revise 13.

    1. 11 is about a fight!! You mean a physical fight? Cause we fight. Does my slapping you not count?

    2. I should have denoted Physical fight.
      While I have taken a few punches (and probably more because I verbally lash back with insults) I have never retaliated.
      I don't believe in Violence

  3. I hate the fucking fan. After you moved out I couldn't sleep without the noise,grrr. Now I have to have the radio on.
    What counts as a relationship? We ended up in "relationship". What about we the fact that we're still doing it, isn't that a "relationship" of sorts?
    That burping shit is fantastic. I remember when you first did it for me!!
    You left out the fact that your belly button collects debris.

  4. I'm confused as to the relationship between Carmel and grouchie?

    1. We have an amusing history. One day I'll make up a story about us

    2. Occasionally,(weekly) we enjoy sex ! Because let's face it, "I hate you" sex is the best!

    3. Wait which part was the amusing part? When you stood me up Christmas Day 2007?

    4. No, when I stand you up this Xmas to just have everything come full circle

  5. Ah last time I followed your blog consistently you were married and lived in a house and your parents were moving in.

    Cliffs since then?

    1. Note he deleted those previous posting :) It was a very very nasty breakup.

    2. I know you're just saying that nonsense to be cute.

  6. Yes. We are no longer together. He still lives with his parents just not in our house.
    We are trying to be friends.