****FUCK LANTANA APARTMENT HOMES IN LAS VEGAS NEVADA******If you Google Searched Lantana Apartments and it led you here - skip down to complain number two and read all about it. Do not ever live here willingly. Stay far away. Find a new place to go. This place will eat your babies and still demand a rent payment.
This past week has been full of a whole lot of frustration and thus far I've been doing a good job of keeping the attitude off of my blog and leaving it in my head where it belongs, however that is all about to come to an end.
There have been two things this past week that have bugged me and both of them have at least one common component even though they are not actually related.
First, lets start with work. We have this HVAC program where Trane will come out and put in a new unit for you. This program uses local Trane dealers adjusting to our retail ways. When we do an install there is a contract involved and at the end of the contract there is a Certificate of Completion that the Installer and the Customer are supposed to sign off on saying that the work was done satisfactory or whatever. This COC then gets faxed back to me and I release payment.
In April we had a customer who got a new HVAC and Furnace (two contracts, two COC's) and I am still waiting to get my COC's back. I have called at a minimum of 4 different people who work in the office of this company asking them to send my signed COC back because I can't pay them until they do. I have also faxed over a copy of the contract numerous times with a note stating my stance as well. So far, two months later, I have yet to get my information back.
Our corporate Install Manager knows that this is a problem and has tried to take steps to rectify it. She sent out a mass email stating that "If you are having trouble getting the completed COC back from your local Trane rep then please send an email to Idiot#1 requesting this information."
So, I send an email to Idiot#1 stating my case and the information that I need and asking what I should do."
Idiot#1 sends me back another email address (and copied 3 other people in on the email) stating I need to contact that email address and give the information.
Idiot#2-4 (the copied people) Respond to me stating that I need to get in contact with my local Trane dealer to get this information as they are the ones who did the install and should have the paperwork.
The email address I was told to email also told me the exact same thing - Contact your local Trane Dealer.
So, after two months of trying to get two pieces of paper faxed to me to no avail I am told to contact someone else who can help expedite the matter and the best solution they can give me is to contact the inbreds that have been ignoring you for two months already? What The Literal Fuck?
When I sent out my emails I began with "Hi, These ugly mf's apparently do not want their money from my company. I have called 69 times and spoken to 3 different people who all tell me that they are too stupid to participate in meaningful discussion. I have also faxed over document X at least once a week with a request to just have someone sign it - anyone - scribble on it and fax it back - and as of this moment not a single one of them appears to read English or is able to operate a fax machine" and that's the response I get.
I wish I could just blow them all off and stop making contact and wait for them to come bitching to me that they never got paid for the job but alas, I can't do that.
Situation number two - or Why I Hate Lantana Apartment Homes in Las Vegas Nevada
Today is day 9 with no A/C in my apartment. It started simply enough with a bunch of retarded maintenance workers coming to my apartment and looking at an A/C unit trying to figure out what was wrong.
Day 1 consisted of a guy trying to adjust my thermostat believing that maybe we were too F'n stupid to operate it properly. When that didn't work he went to the roof only to come down an hour later saying he'd check up on it tomorrow.
Day 2 I get a call asking if it's working - when I tell them "no" they send someone else out. This person looks at it and determines that it needs a new motor and then leaves.
Day 3 was Sunday - No F'n help on the lords day as everyone else was sitting in their air conditioned apartments sipping on dos fucking ekki's (whatever) while I had to constantly wipe the sweat from underneath my man titties (a boob reference for Rob).
Day 4 consisted of someone coming out and telling my parents that there were just too many parts to be able to figure out what the hell is wrong with it - they were going to get a professional out later the same day. When no one shows up I call and bitch and they send the same group of retards out who don't know what they are doing.
Day 5 I'm told it's a compressor issue and the part is on order - be here Weds or Thurs
Day 6 I'm told no fucking luck asshole - check back tomorrow
Day 7 I'm told I look familiar but they have no record of any (er, that's how it feels at least....). This day they decide to FINALLY fake interest in our problem and let us borrow a portable A/C unit that is designed for at most a 500 square foot apartment in our 1300+ square foot unit that has not had a drop of f'n cool air in a f'n week. The A/C Unit ran for 8-10 hours straight before it finally decided to give up on life and commit suicide by making horrible loud knocking noises that made it impossible for anyone to sleep so we had to pull the plug. 10 hours of this piece of shit running maybe cooled the apartment down 2 degrees.
Day 8 I'm told the part didn't arrive yet but maybe during the afternoon delivery.
Day 8 afternoon - I check back and am told the part is in and the maintenance guys are on their way over as we speak.
Day 8 two hours later - I call to ask when these SOB's were going to arrive and am promptly told that they were already there and gone. I say that's bloody impossible and I want to know when they will be here. I am then told that everything they have to do is on the roof so maybe I didn't notice it, to check my A/C and see if it's working.
I politely respond that I have been in my apartment for the entire 2 hours, Not one person has showed up or knocked on my door to state that they were starting or finishing. Not one person has actually showed up. If they went to the roof - I would notice because I have heard them walking around every goddamned time thus far and on top of that I have a dog that goes batshit insane every time these idiots have been on my roof and he didn't make one bark.
Not only that but I have gone outside multiple times looking for them to see maybe they just got fucking lost on their way across the fucking parking lot. And Finally if these ugly sperm burpers actually did show up and do the work do you not think that they would have wanted to collect our loaner piece of shit portable A/C unit? I am then placed on hold for about 5-10 minutes.
The lady gets back on the phone and tells me that the head maintenance guy has gone home for the day and that they would be back out Saturday and if not then on Monday.
I politely ask if everyone there is a product of monkey rape because they appear to be under evolved. How is it even remotely acceptable to let a family sit in 90+ degree heat for 10 days and no known solution especially when I have stated multiple times that there are old ass people living here with medical conditions? I am told that "this is why we let you use the portable A/C unit" to which I respond that their piece of shit attempt to help us out ONLY after I bitched multiple times every day for an entire fucking week was retarded and lame and explained how portable A/C units work and why this one never stood a chance.
I am told "well, we're trying, ya just gotta be patient a couple more days"
Warning: Possible Rant Coming - cover your children's earsSo Fuck you Lantana Apartment Homes in Las Vegas Nevada at zip code 89146
Fuck you and everyone who looks like you.
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
I hope you all get aids and your vagina's rot off and fall into the toilet.
If given the chance I would Rape your house, burn your daughters and kick your puppies. I would cut the cord to the oxygen tank your syphilitic mother is breathing from and I would personally superglue your dads dick to his own anus.
I am now politely crafting my "NO, I'm not going to renew my lease you goddamned idiots" letter which will be submitted by this coming Friday at the latest.
If there is a corporate contact number I am calling and bitching and I am writing a letter.
I am having Lorena Bobbit come over and pay a visit to all of your husbands.
I am having Tanya Harding play knee-cap hockey with every single one of you mother fuckers.
Then I am sending you all to Singapore and letting the world know that you littered so that you can be caned repeatedly and then, just maybe then, you will understand the fucking hell I have been through this week with No Goddamned A/C and not being able to sleep because it's 90 fucking degree's inside my apartment at midnight.
Go to hell you cocksuckers.
PostScript - I edited out multiple racial slurs and about twenty vulgarities in order to make this a bit more socially acceptable.