Friday, June 01, 2012

My Poker Sins Have Been Forgiven

I'm not the type to pray but every once in a while there is a point where all things good and holy converge and my shit is left smelling like a garbage bag full of roses and cheap booze (instead of french fries).  Last night was one of those nights and it took a great deal of patience to get there.

Everything started out innocently enough as I sat down at a running 1/2 NL game which had a decent amount of money on it.  The big stack was to my left which is kind of unfortunate but other than in one particular hand it really didn't make a difference.  That particular hand, however, was the first hand of my evening.

Upon sitting I was the big blind and I choose to play instead of letting the button pass.  I know that a certain someone would say that it's blasphemy to do such a thing and that I must be filthy rich because only rich people are stupid enough to do that because they obviously do not care about money.
So, being that I'm rich I posted and got dealt K6.  We saw a flop with 5 people and it was beautiful at KT6 with two diamonds.
I threw $20 out there as an over-feeler-bet to just take down a pot right away and the guy to my left called.  Folded to a guy in late position who decided to just push all in for an additional $75 and then folded back to me.
He was short and I have no idea of how he plays because this is my first hand at the table.  It's a tough position as he could have KT but I figure him most likely to have a holding like top pair and a flush draw.  So, I decide to call when the guy to my left surprises me by going all in.
I've already got half my stack in the pot and while I feel I'm kind of beat here I call.  I still have about $100 behind so would anyone fold here?  I have top and bottom and the pot is $400 and I have to call an additional $100?  Either way I wasn't good enough.
The turn is a 6 completing my boat and the river is a blank - however the guy to my left limped with TT and had a much bigger boat than I.  RELOAD! (this guy then flops two more sets within the orbit and grows his stack more).

At this point I decided to get run over by the deck.  Getting run over by the deck is awesome, however there is one caveat.  Other people need to at least be hitting enough to help you grow your stack.  When this doesn't happen you just sit there in wonder and know that you are wasting a hot streak.  Blah says the fish.

So for the next hour or so I flop all kinds of marvelous stuff and win $100 of my money back.

I flopped a set of ducks and won $30.  I flopped two pair after a raise and got a 3 way all in and split with another guy with the same two pair.  I flopped 2 straights and got nothing.  Flopped a boat with 63 in the big blind and 5 other players and nobody played even after a K on the turn. On the button I raised 23s to $11 and the flop came out 227.  There were 5 callers to my raise.  I bet $20 on the flop and everyone went away.
This kept happening for close to an hour and when my cards stopped hitting so hard I'd made back $100.

Finally the divine powers decided to smile upon me.

I'm on the button and look down and see the holy duo of 2spades and 4spades.  I decide that I am raising to $15 when it gets to me and I watch 4 people limp.  However, interference happens as the guy to my right decides to raise to $15.  Decisions decisions.
I thought about a re-pop but I know that 2 of the 4 limpers were 97% to call the raise and build a pot for me and as such I slid out my three red-birds. 1 of the 4 tagged along to see a flop.
The Flop:

At this point bells and whistles were going off in my head because it's hard for a flop to hit me harder than this one.  Sure, I didn't quite have anything right now but dammit that doesn't matter. I've got 321 draws to a winner and pretty sure pairing my 4 or 2 might be good as well.  Guy in early position grabs some chips but decides to check.  This guy was a pretty weak player.  If he limped he was almost guaranteed to call a raise. He chased more than he should have and as a result he kept putting bills on the table.  He got stacked on my 1st hand (he was the original pusher) and he got stacked (by me) later when he pushed all in and I had flopped 2 pair again (this was the hand that I split with someone else with the same flopped 2 pair).
Guy to my right cuts out $30 for his bet and the action is on me.  Calling $30 into $75 isn't ideal here but it's slightly better when I really believe that the last guy will call the $30 as well.  I figure that I can take this down on the turn with a big bet most of the time because guy to my right most likely has overs and the other guy most likely will just go away (he just rebought so had near $200 instead of like his normal $75ish.  He had a habit of calling flops and folding turns until he got into the $75 range and then he would push and donate).
So, I smooth called while chanting 5 or spade 5 or spade 5 or spade 5 or spade in my head.  The last completely disappeared in my mind at this point and like any other fish I just stopped paying attention to him. I do not know if he called or if he folded or what happened.  He just faded out of existence.


Beautiful. Perfect in every imaginable way. The stone cold nuts. The Holy Order of the Mighty Deuce-Four heard my prayers and answered them with a resounding chorus of angels singing.
Guy thinks for about 45 seconds or so and cuts out $75.
I think for approx the same amount of time and cut out $75.


Not 100% the card that I was hoping for but then again I was unsure what I was really looking for.  Guy's holdings are still pretty undefined because I have played this hand very passive.  In all reality I was hoping for a paired board so that he could either A- Catch Quads and we could hit the bad beat (hit earlier in the evening at a 3/6 Limit game of course) or B- Bluff push his remaining $250 trying to convince me that he just rivered my flush with his awesome boat.
However, none of that happened and after some deliberation he checked.
I thought, again, for approx 45 seconds before pushing out a $100 stack and watched him count out $100 and then look at the rest of his chips like he wanted to push (I should have just bet $75 again to give him a bigger push me thinks) and eventually he decided on mucking.

I, however decided to flash my hand and take a picture of it to appease the Gods even more.

I later went to the bathroom and snapped this pic just to end my post with it.
Also, you'll all be happy to know that I ended up cashing out actual profit for my session.
Yep, one fucking dollar.


  1. Okay, I still have two full months before I'm back - it's not fair to be posting photos like that one... :) Congrats on crushing the game!

    1. Sir, That was like to the tune of 20 cents an hour last night.

  2. You could have increased your profit by 200% if you didn't piss your money away posting that big blind when you didn't have to :). TYVM for that wonderful ass shot of the chick. Very nice. Where was that at?

    1. yeah - wtf was I thinking?

      Ballys - at the electronic Roulette table.
      Later in the evening there were 3 of them and I could have taken a shot of the other two cheek-2-cheek but I settled on just the better of the 3.

  3. As soon as I feed my fish they go right to the food.
    Maybe they fear the blue waffle man?

    While you are cooking them though, throw some ribs on the BBQ for me too, thanks.

  4. It's always hard to know how to play a hand as strong as 2-4. You hate to re-raise too much (pre-flop) as you'll drive them out. Nice job.

    1. I forgot to detail it above, but my only re-raise of the session came fairly late when I started running pretty card dead.
      I got dealt my favorite hand in my favorite suit and I was on the button.
      There was a $12 raise pre-flop from a guy who lives in Erie PA (and Teaches at Edinborro) whom I have played with on his other poker treks (and who busted out with a semi bad beat). There was one caller and I looked down and saw the Ever Powerful 7clubs 2clubs and made it $50.
      This is when I realized he had a really good hand because it took him over a minute to decide to fold and he basically mouthed to me that he is folding because he respects my game lol.

  5. Replies
    1. It might not be much but it's enough for a date with Josie!

  6. mmmm I loves me some ribs and chicken!! BBQ 4 LIFE!

  7. So, you're an Ass Man, huh?

    I say that because you post a great pic of a nice ass and apparently the ass was so great in person that it messed up your mind.

    Your story about the str8 flush makes no sense. On the river the guy who has first action JUST FOLDS even tho there is no bet to fold to. Really??

    So who folded AFTER your $100 bet? The fish who faded out of existence and you didn't even know if he was in the hand still or not? I'm confused.

    But nice run anyway. I think you can think Prudence and I for your incredible run of late, we got you started. But a shame after a hit like this you only won a buck. I bet what you are not telling us is how much of your profit went to the ass-girl depicted.

    So Bally's has scantily-clad dealers? Never seen them, but then I've only played there lately during the day. I guess they come out after dark?

    Glad the nightime sexy dealers are better looking than the daytime cocktail waitresses, that's all I can say.

    Stay hot, my friend....until I return to town, that is.

    1. I obviously meant checked and just put that there to see If anyone was reading. Yeah, that's the ticket.
      Asses come out at night along with scantily clad dancers.

      I am an ass man, a thigh man, and a breast man.

      I like my women like I like my KFC, hot, juicy, cheap, always available and finger licking good.

    2. But you only eat breasts.

    3. I really am talking chicken.

  8. I suppose lemon and rice goes better with fish than fava beans and a nice chianti?

  9. Sounds yummy dinner at Waffles' house.

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