Wednesday, May 23, 2012

A Hodge Podge Post

Played another session with Rob when I heard that Stump was out and playing as well.  I figure'd that I had nothing better to do so I headed down and joined their game as soon as a seat was open.

First thing I noticed was that at another table there was a guy playing with his dog in his lap.  That is not a mistake - he had his poodle in his lap the entire time and had evidently been playing a long time as it was no longer a shock to people.

Getting to the table Rob introduced me to Stump (and really, I'm saying Stump because right now names are avoiding me.  I think it's Chris but I'm not 100% sure and I'm really not feeling the whole "go look it up really quick and then come back and keep typing."  I just want to roll with it, yo).  It might be Stumpy, it might be PBnJ - I do know that his avatar is the Houston Texans avatar and that makes him less likely to succeed :)

Upon sitting at the table I played one of the more uneventful sessions I have ever played.  I ended up losing half my stack over the course of 3-4 hours and with the fact that I never really hit a flop I'm pretty happy that I only lost half my stack.
I raised a good amount but the flop was always opposite.  If I raised garbage the flop came out AKT and if I raised KQs the flop came out 9 high.  However, I was able to win enough pots through continuation bets or just randomly stealing them when no one else wanted them to keep myself afloat.

I did lose about 30 or so bucks when I called a guys push with 72 and my middle pair was no match for his top pair.  In my defense I raised that hand and got a caller when the short stack pushed all his chips in. So, I made a big raise to get everyone else out as I figure'd that my two cards were live against his "big cards."  What ended up being amusing, to me, was that he pushed with 85s instead of some random A or K.  Either way, his hand held and I lost a few chips.

Of course, I wanted to use that image to my advantage but I never got any great hands and I never really hit enough of a flop to get paid off.  In fact, over the course of the entire session I didn't even see one single pocket pair.  I had AK once, AQ twice and AJ 33 million times.
Of course, If it has not been written yet you'll all get to look forward to Rob telling the tail of a great hand he played where he went up against Ace Jack.
This same hand, about 40 minutes later, got Rob to utter a phrase so out of character for him that I can't remember it but I thought it was funny as hell (I was sleepy when he said it and I'm now sleepy almost 24 hours later.  Hopefully Rob remembers).

Upon leaving the poker room to go home I walked by the table games where I watched an amazingly attractive hooker lead a young black gent to a private area where they could talk without interruption.  At that point I was standing about 30 feet away and I leaned up against the wall and started texting Rob about how I actually spotted one.  I watched for about 2 minutes or so hoping to see them strike a deal and wonder off to commit sins and pass around STD's but it was too long of a negotiation for my patience.  I needed sleep and I needed it immediately.

Jump forward 15 hours or so for this next random tale that doesn't fit in with anything else I have said above.
I was driving home from work and stopped at the intersection of Rainbow and Charleston when I saw one of those sign guys doing that spinning thing they do so well.  Some white guy walks up to him and Sign Guy drops his sign to shake his hand and then put something in his pocket.
After about 30 seconds of conversation Sign Guy puts his hand back in his pocket and when it emerges he is palming what looks like a small bag of cocaine, they shake hands again and Random White Guy puts his hand into his pocket quickly and brings it back out empty.  He walks away and Sign Guy picks his sign back up and starts waving it around while walking away from the area to a better location.
Good times.

Now, I'm tired and once again Must Sleep Immediately!
I just got back from some weird kids park that involved sand, water, Dinosaurs, slides and ducks or something.  I dunno - maybe it was the acid.


  1. Hmm....not sure what the phrase I uttered that you found so notable was. As I recall when the guy beat me with his Ace-Jack, he called me a donkey or a fish, but then said immediately that he was kidding. I of course said he should go back to Virginia immediately. I don't think that's what you meant.

    When there was a Jack involved, I might have said something about him, me or you being--or not being--a jack off. Other than that, I got nothing.

    Stalking hookers, huh? That'll get you in trouble! Remember what happened to me with the Vegas PD!

    1. I wish I could remember too Rob.
      It was well after that hand was over, but it was to the same person.
      I want to think it was along the lines of "Well you're lucky I've got good self control because if I didn't.... (insert the funny here)..."
      At the time I wanted to tweet it and I feel like I should have now!

    2. Ok so it must have been when the a-hole showed me his pocket jacks, which he won with and was rubbing it in. My guess is I just would have finished that sentence with, "I would say something to get me kicked out of here." But that doesn't sound all that memorable. Did I threaten him physically? I don't think so. Hmm...

      Perhaps Stump remembers. Stump?

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  3. 8 5 vs. 7 2, a classic confrontation... :P

    1. If the mood of the table is right I like to take a relatively cheap gamble to create an image :)

      Just so happens that I never got to use it since I never got any hands to get paid off with.

  4. We've all seen similar situations, and the collective GROAN from the people who folded real hands is awesome... :)

    1. lol, yep. One of my favorite things.
      "Man, if you didn't push there I would have hit the flush"
      And I like to respond "Do you see the kind of trash I'm playing? Why would you ever fold against me?"