Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Hugo's Cellar

This is another of my good break up stories and completely inspired by this post over on Rob's blog.
My first (and maybe shortest ever) story is here for all of those who would like to go back and read about what I think might be the greatest break-up line ever.

Everything was seemingly fine in my little world.  I had just recently moved to the greatest place in the whole f'n world, Las Vegas Nevada and brought with me a chick that (at the time) I thought had potential to be a keeper (stupid lust tricking me) and I had planned an awesome birthday treat for said lovely.

I had gathered some really good information from someone who I actually have zero respect from at work. However I do know that he is a lying cheating scoundrel and if there was any opinion of his that I could trust it would be where to take a chick for a romantic evening.  I'm fairly sure he took his wife there with a host of other ladies who filled the void when he got bored.

So, her birthday came and we went to Hugo's Cellar at the 4 Queens.
This place was everything I was told it would be and more.
Upon arriving for our reservation we were greeted by a gent who took a long stemmed rose out of a vase, cut the stem and wrapped it up for my date.  If their panties aren't wet at this point the food should surely finish the job.
We were then seated and had one waiter come over who's job it was to serve us nothing but water should we so desire (he had a cart loaded with it).  After that our main waiter brought over a cart full of appetizers for us to pick and choose from.
Next up was the salad cart which was mixed for us individual with the toppings of our choosing.  Pretty much any normal thing in a salad that you can think of was on this card to choose from down to the assortment of dressings.
After our salad's were made we got to order our main course - she choose something that previously lived in an ocean far away from the desert that we were currently living in and I choose a steak wrapped in bacon (I was way ahead of this whole Everyone Loves Bacon phase that the world is going through currently) and some sort of lobstrocity that really only kinda sorta tasted good if dipped into the right sauce.

At this point while waiting for our food to arrive is when she decided to engage in conversation, a conversation that she had obviously been planning out in her head for a while and which I was not privy to any of the information until this very moment. The conversation started out something along the lines of "We really just haven't been working out that well since moving to Vegas" and ended somewhere along the lines of "I think we should probably just be friends, I'm moving out next week."

Needless to say I was pretty shocked, if I had seen this coming I definitely would have not bothered shelling out for such a dinner to celebrate the occasion of losing a relationship.  However, in the "spirit of friendship" she did tell me that it would be perfectly ok if I was still willing to take her to see the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie after dinner.  So, that was pretty damned kind of her to allow me to take her to a fancy dinner and a movie and not get to enjoy the power of the shocker (It comes up everywhere, I just can't figure it out man) or enjoy her vagina ever again.

And he lived happily ever after until his next relationship - the end.

p.s. - the chocolate covered strawberries for desert were fucking divine.


  1. Great foresight on the 'Everyone Loves Bacon' trend... :)

    Classy girl... I'm also looking at twitter right now, and a girl that I found through her funny stuff being retweeted is now 'tweeting her date', DURING HER DATE... ANOTHER classy girl...

    1. Yeah, I'm attracted to a whole 'nother level of class lol.

      Maybe my next "date" should be tweeted to the world - I wonder if I could convince someone to go along with that?

      grrouchie: I think things are going well, dinner was tasty and she didn't talk too much
      grrouchie: fuck that, I just had to endure an hour about how her uncle Phister was properly named
      grrouchie: 3rd glass of wine tonight, I'm sensing second base easy
      grrouchie: she has invited me in for a night cap - I think I'm getting at least a hummer out of this
      grrouchie: There is no way this girl hasn't worked at an AMP - you should see the stuff she is doing to me right now
      grrouchie: well, I didn't want to do it doggy style tonight, that's just the position she passed out in.
      grrouchie: back home, what a night - hope she doesn't call me tomorrow when she wakes up

  2. Hugo's better be good -- I checked the menu and it's expensive!

    1. Yes, it's expensive. Most expensive meal I ever paid cash for by far.
      However, the atmosphere and the way the ladies are treated give it a nice little touch that screams "I'll be getting some tonight"
      you know, for everyone except for me that is ha!

      There are far more expensive places in Vegas and I'm too much of a pansy to eat in them because of it. I really want to try the Gordon Ramsey restaurant in Paris but it's like $125/head.

    2. $125 for head is pretty good in Vegas....or so I'm told.

    3. $125 isn't bad, but you can add a few bucks to it and get a nice hour long massage first :)

  3. Yeah -- your story reminds me of my final night with me old girlfriend. She thought I was taking her to this fancy restaurant in Chicago before she moved away. I had already decided that this would be the last night that I would see her. She answered the door all dressed up -- great dress, full make up, etc. I had on a tee shirt and shorts. Avoided spending the big bucks that night -- yea me!

  4. Lightning's all, 'McDonald's or Burger King?...' :)

    1. Yeah, I think I'm doing it wrong.

      My next date is going to be at PePe's Tacos

  5. Dude, did you not learn anything? That is the point where you excuse yourself from the table to take a pee... and run as fast as you can to your car and drive away.

    1. I am a bad understudy in the language of douchebaggery, I have failed you father.

      I need to take "jerk" lessons so I can learn how to treat women!

  6. This is why I've stopped dating. Too much BS. I've decided to just save up cash until I can buy an awesome mail order job . . . and NOT fom one of those shitty countries. I'm thinking . . . Sweden?

    1. mail order job? heh.

      It's funny how many "bought" wives you see out here in Vegas.
      Also Pete - watch this.


    2. LOL, Pete....yeah, Sweden doesn't sound like a bad choice. Just think tho, if you hadn't been so generous with a certain former resident of Atlantic City, you'd be that much closer to that special delivery package from Scandinavia!

  7. Ugh,what a terrible break up story. Although quite costly, it sure sounds like you are well rid of this, ahem, lady.

    1. Rob, I'm the type of person that believes everything happens for a reason. We are who we are and where we are because of the choices we have made and the shit we have been through.
      So, with that in mind I would not change a single thing from my past for any reason what-so-ever.

      While this "lady" had some issues and cost me a fancy dinner with no "after dinner mint" so to speak - She moved across the country with me (after having only known me for a year) and she is also the reason that I have the love of my life - my dog!
      She also ended up providing an invaluable contact in the form of a small business owner in town who has been a great friend as well.